A.i.b.u to think , fuck it to school work now?

[DollyPartons]

Dd , yr 9 can't be arsed at the best of times , but will just about complete most homework during term time as hates any confrontation from teachers. Started lockdown set homework but as times gone on like pulling teeth to get her to do any. Doesn't take to bribery or jossling. I've tried , a lot. She's just below average, I'm terrified this will plunder more but with no communication from school she's just not bothered . The school have not given guidelines to parents to get them to do the work , no expectations, schools out for summer early?

the school have not given guidelines to parents to get them to do the work
Maybe they're hoping that, as a parent, you have some control over your child and are able to, you know, parent them? And that includes getting them to do their homework?
Why must everything always be the fault of teachers and schools?

And so bloody what if your dd falls out with you. My dd knew right from the word go learning at home was no negotiable.

Dh and I took some time the first Sunday before the homeschool lessons started setting dd up with a comfortable place to work and had a look at the resources she had received and lessons set so that dd didn’t go into it blind the next day.

In your shoes, wouldn’t you be better working in the same space together. Encourage her to do searches for information on her phone if she’s typing things up so that she has 2 devices. It’s far easier that way.

She would not fall out with a teacher. Where are they?
On the other end of an email to them.

The school have not given guidelines to parents to get them to do the work , no expectations

Contact the school.

Like every parent who's pissed and moaned on MN about this, you've joined the club of those who haven't got up off your arse to get in touch with the school.

Does she have her phone in 'school hours'? If so, there's your first thing. Doesnt get it between 10-12 and 1-3. And only after 3 if the minimum is done.

You’re getting a pasting from all sides op. I’m a teacher and my ds has largely done bugger all if that’s any consolation (cue public lynching for me).

What I’d recommend is emailing the English teacher and asking what the gcse texts are, pick one and read it to each other and stop and ask questions and discuss to ensure understanding and pull out meaning and themes and get them to relate for half an hour a day. Do it together.

Check she has password for mathswatch or equivalent and get her to do half an hour each day on areas she has struggled with. Reward that half hour with sitting watching something she’s into with her or letting her teach you some god awful video game or mortifying tiktok dance.

Make it minimal but valuable.

Maybe they're hoping that, as a parent, you have some control over your child and are able to, you know, parent them? And that includes getting them to do their homework

Wow - taking some anger out at the OP here people!

So many nasty comments - along with a few helpful ones.

I've sent a message with my 'advice' to the OP privately as no doubt I would get heavily slagged off as well for being a lazy - good-for-nothing shit parent.

I think if kids can learn to work from home now it will be a really good foundation for them in the future, when they do have to work on their own more often, eg for gcses and beyond

Mine are Y4 and Y8 and we have refined our routine in recent weeks to:

8.30am breakfast
9am Joe Wicks
shower etc. If not doing Joe Wicks, start work at 9.30am.
10am school work as set by school - kids to save any questions they want to ask me until 10.55am (so I can do my work in peace)
11am break time with piece of toast or fruit or something
11.30am work till lunchtime at 1pm. If they run out of work –as they generally have by midday – they can read or play but no screens till after lunch.

Afternoons tend to be more like 2-4pm online gaming, 4pm out for exercise, 5pm back on screens till dinner time. It seems to be working in that they're doing their work but it's not taking that long, to be honest - and we are both getting work done. Really, we're spinning out their work to take as long as it can so we can get ours done.

Previously it was interrupt parents a lot, asking endless questions, not really do much work, spend lots of time asking for screen time. Now it seems to be working better.

Fully expect to see OP on here in 2 years wondering why their DD didn’t get into uni and then 3 years after that wondering why they won’t contribute financially and then 4 years after that why won’t they move out...

She’s 14 not 4. Time for boundaries

Wow - taking some anger out at the OP here people!
A few of us teachers are getting heartily sick of being the punch-bag for a number of parents on this site.
If a child is not conforming at school, we get the blame. And now, it seems we're also to take the blame if they're not conforming at home too.

Schools are in a no win situation.
Those that chase students not doing work are told it's the parents choice if students do the work.
Schools that don't chase are told they are not doing enough.

I set the work, set some assessment twice a topic, mark said work, but I don't chase. I have little idea as to what is going on at home for these students and I'm not going to risk adding more stress to the situation.I'm there if parents want to contact me though.

OP - can I suggest if you want support with the work you contact the school. However, if you just want help making her do it, I'm not sure what they can do.

Our school isn't really posting much and what links they do post are either not working properly or not loading up.

I've given up on the links and we spent some savings on books from this website for her to do. We bought maths and English key stages 1 and 2 which are set out well and she's enjoying them most days.

www.cgpbooks.co.uk/

It's helped to set a routine and work a bit harder Monday to Thursday and she has Fridays "off" to do whatever else she likes. We usually do a bit of craft or a movie day.

I have to say though that these workbooks and SAT test papers are helping to give structure to our lessons and she is actually learning.

I think the school relationship is crucial in this, as it's not my role to teach her. I'm her mother. I have boundaries, I'm firm. She would fall out with me because that's what teenage girls do. She would not fall out with a teacher. Where are they?

When did completely outsourcing the responsibility of your child’s education become a thing?

She’s at home ffs, you can still support her in having a routine, independent learning etc.

I’m not ‘teaching’ DD but I am on hand to support her and that includes putting a rocket up her when she takes the proverbial.

My eldest is usually in an alternative education placement via the PRU, I would laugh in the face of anyone who thought I should be able to get him to do any school work at all during this lockdown period. That we have managed to get him to stay in the house is victory enough for us.

Some pp really have no idea.

Parenting teens is hard. Teaching teens is hard. Trying to do both is a bloody nightmare, especially when you can't get away from each other.

Honeybadger gave good, practical advice. If you can just do maths and English for now, that's still good. I'm also a fan of getting the film versions of set texts.

I hear you OP. My DD is younger than yours, but it's a nightmare to get her to do her work. I have to basically homeschool her in a language I am still learning, Spanish, and a language I don't speak at all, Valencian, which is a nightmare. Some days you just feel like throwing in the towel.
I'll be glad when the term ends and I can just do my own stuff with her. She was getting on really well with Mr Khan's Academy, but then the school piled the work on, so we don't have time to do that now.

A few of us teachers are getting heartily sick of being the punch-bag for a number of parents on this site.
If a child is not conforming at school, we get the blame. And now, it seems we're also to take the blame if they're not conforming at home too.

I must have missed where the OP said anything which implied this.

Pointing out that the school have not set any guidelines or communicated with the OP does not equal her blaming teachers for her child's non conformity, btw. You'd have to be trying very hard to feel blamed and offended to take it that way!

Has she had any work set at all, because if so she has had contact from the teachers, if she can't do it she needs to use the communication system they will have in place to ask for help. I am doing this constantly on my work days, and on my non work days as I am setting work for those to for various reason. So I am actually working more than my contracted hours!

Well this week I have emailed all my year 12s who have not compelted my work, I have spoken to thier head of year to see if it is just my subject or across the board.

Next week I will be doing the same for my yr 9's. I have 60 of them to check up on.

Re marking work I am doing my best - it is so much harder to mark every students work from every lesson and give it feedback, I normaly do this wandering around the class, trying to mark, check photos of books is a lot harder.

As for the comments about parents are also trying to work from home as well as home school, teachers in the same boat - I am a secondary teacher plus trying to teach a 5 and 4 year old!

If she's below average then surely it's even more important she does the work. If her teacher can get her to do the work then you as her mother can. Can you not get her to get dressed, brush her teeth, make her bed etc either?

You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make them drink.

DS in Y10 is doing a bit of what interests him, in small doses, when he fancies it and based on the learning material arriving in a sensible fashion. He is very academically able and knows the consequences of this in terms of potentially poorer grades, fewer opportunities or having to work harder, later. So be it.

And I simply do not agree that missing 5/6/8 weeks schooling or failing to conform during quite extraordinary circumstances will damage his life chances forever.

Work ethic comes from when something is meaningful. I'm not going to force him to go through the motions at the cost of our household harmony, mental health and relationship.

I await my ritual lambasting from the hordes.

I also have a year 9 DS. I am making sure he does a couple of hours a day but have had to be pro active about it. I sit down with him a couple of times a week and check his outstanding work on goggle classroom. We then put together a plan of 2/3 days work schedule. He has a couple of projects which were set before Easter that have a hand in date of just before half term so we factor in a few hours a week to work on those as well as the other subjects which have been set weekly. Some days e.g yesterday he had maths, RE and a bit of his geography project to do but was finished quickly so we checked our plan for today and he moved science forward and did that as well. Today he had more maths to do ( teacher sets 3 lessons a week) and he did some of his DT project. He normally works for 2/3 hours in the morning and the rest of the day he can do as he pleases. It took a bit of getting used to but he has now got into a routine and no longer complains about it. It has helped that the teachers have acknowledged the work when it’s submitted and some have actually marked it and given constructive feedback so ds can see that his efforts are not in vain.

You'd have to be trying very hard to feel blamed and offended to take it that way!
So, put it in the context of the myriad of threads on here where posters are constantly berating teachers for everything from not being open (like that's our decision), to being open for too few children, to teaching via Zoom (also not our decision) and not teaching via Zoom when other schools are, for setting too much work, to not setting enough, plus a gazillion other things.
We're sick of it.

This is an example where it's the parenting at 4 years old that counts.

My DC is younger than yours but still secondary and he has been set a full timetable including shite sent home for 'tutorial time', PE (theory) and drama

I would say he does at least 80% of all that is set notably Maths, English, History, Science etc. I think it's good to have the routine.

What I am beginning to wonder though is how many kids will have done sweet FA. Schools will have to re-cover stuff or there will be hundreds left behind. At which point I will be thinking that I wasted my and my DC's time

Why do people think the words ‘parent them’ is some kind of magic bullet? What do you think she’s doing? There’s no universal solution, no universal way of handling all this, most people don’t know what the hell day it is.