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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't have Social Media AIBU?

160 replies

NameChaaaaanges · 29/04/2020 05:15

As per the title.
I have no facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat anything.

The president of the PTA texted me "hi what's your Facebook? I want to add you to the school page"

Me: I don't have Facebook

Her: WTAF? Are you serious? Who in this century doesn't have FB?!

I didn't reply.
I am happy with no SM. I was bullied at high school, I have social anxiety and although I do well in general with social situations I just have no desire to get or have SM.
AIBU and if you don't have SM, why not if you don't mind me asking?

OP posts:
ElizabethMainwaring · 29/04/2020 05:26

No. I don't have anything. I can't understand why people want others to know everything about them. The idea of 'sharing' all of that stuff horrifies me.

GameChange123 · 29/04/2020 05:27

YANBU. I don't have social media either. Having been stalked for 3 years has made me very cautious.

I don't have children but one of my friends who didn't even have a basic mobile phone until last year said he had to have one for the school to contact him. He is finding it more intrusive and unpleasant than for his own benefit. This was pre-lockdown. Clearly he & I are outliers!,

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 29/04/2020 05:31

I am the same as you OP. I’ve managed to get to a riper age without any of it and it hasn’t bothered me at all.

I heard through the grapevine that someone put a film on Facebook of me being sick in the little village disco. I was 15 and had just had a cheeky drink for the first time. I’m now in my 50s.

The purpose of it? I don’t know if it was to humiliate me or for reminiscing. But it put me clean off the lot of it.

I get colleagues asking me for my fb or saying they’ve searched for me and couldn’t find me. Again, not sure why. It isn’t as though we are friends outside of work.

I don’t need it.
I don’t want it. Smile

FiveShelties · 29/04/2020 05:38

No I don't have social media either. I have no idea what I would post on there or what I would want to read.

averytiredmom · 29/04/2020 05:40

YANBU, I’m the same. I don’t get the point in it

HarryElephante · 29/04/2020 05:47

Be whoever you want to be. You don't need validation from the mumsnet.

Original poster
NameChaaaaanges · 29/04/2020 05:48

Awright My boss always says to me "oh that's right, you don't have FB" when recounting something he's seen on there (He said it three times on a Zoom call yesterday)
I have had other parents at the school openly tell me they have searched for me on there and I have never even spoken to them before then.

OP posts:
OccasionalNachos · 29/04/2020 05:50

I have some social media accounts but not others. I don’t dislike social media but can see why people aren’t keen, it’s just a personal choice.

Of course YANBU & that was a rude message from the PTA.

I don’t consider WhatsApp to be social media, it’s basically texting/video calling. No one uses the stories, surely?

Original poster
NameChaaaaanges · 29/04/2020 05:50

HarryElephante I'm not really asking for validation as such more of other people's opinions.
Friends and family make out like I'm some sort of weirdo for not having it.

OP posts:
Original poster
NameChaaaaanges · 29/04/2020 05:51

OccassionalNachos I don't know how WhatsApp works.

OP posts:
pippistrelle · 29/04/2020 05:52

YANBU, OP. I feel no need to share, or be shared with, in that way. I manage to maintain good relationships with friends and family. I can see why some people like it, but really not my thing. I don't think it's that unusual a choice. But maybe your PTA person lives in a bubble of like minded people only.

HarryElephante · 29/04/2020 06:14

HarryElephante I'm not really asking for validation as such more of other people's opinions.
Friends and family make out like I'm some sort of weirdo for not having it

Well, you are looking for validation. Be who you want to be. Having SM isn't compulsory.

catfeets · 29/04/2020 06:16

I don't have any either. I have absolutely no desire to ever have Facebook or twitter etc. I just don't understand why anyone needs it in their lives plus it seems intrusive and a huge drain on time as people use it for hours at a time!

When my brother was in school, my parents were given the option of contact via Facebook or twitter so they had to make an account just so they could get updates and homework links. There were no options other than this, which is just ridiculous.

I've been called a liar on here before when I've mentioned not having social media. People can get very irate about it, god knows why Confused.

Freeasabirdy · 29/04/2020 06:20

I don’t have it either as I have been stalked, it’s very satisfying to know that they are still desperately searching though.

redcarbluecar · 29/04/2020 06:24

YANBU, lots of people don’t have FB. It’s not for everyone.

nannytothequeen · 29/04/2020 06:30

Clearly I'm using WhatsApp all wrong. I use it to message a couple of friends. And surely MN is social media. If you're here and posting you're on social media.

Sparkles333 · 29/04/2020 06:33

I used to have fb some years ago but just found i didnt have time to for it, its got good points and bad. Im not that interested in all the drivel as theres plenty of that on there. Great to keep in touch with long distance family but that's about it.
I prefer whatsapp as its just the people that you have within your phone already, far less intrusive but a great way to share photos.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/04/2020 06:34

FYI, it is possible to have social media without engaging. I have fb, twitter and WhatsApp. I don’t really use them.

Anyone, who is my friend on Facebook has requested me as their friend. It is useful to sell stuff locally to find things out happening locally - I did not grow up near to where I live. I am too ill to really engage in the world so I can also look at what people I know, especially family are doing.

As for twitter, I read rather than post and having an account means I can follow people.

I am in a WhatsApp group with the parents at dds school. It is useful for information / questions / to share photos after school trips etc. Can be a bit boring and inane but certainly no cliques or bullying as the forum is open to parents of children in a certain year group in our village.

As you have a child, my comment would be just make sure they’re not missing out by your choices. They shouldn’t be made to do so because of something, which happened probably decades ago. And yes, I was bullied pretty badly.

Traviis · 29/04/2020 06:36

Quite a strong reaction from the school person, “What the actual fuck”.

Sparkles333 · 29/04/2020 06:38

Also seeing people sat in a group (pre-lockdown obviously) with a good few on their phone checking facebook while they are in the company of others is just rude. I do think some people let it rule them like they can't bare to miss out and need to be included.

Onone · 29/04/2020 06:45

I don’t have any social media either,I don’t need validation

Winegumlover · 29/04/2020 06:48

You are on Mumsnet. You do.

Mrhodgeymaheg · 29/04/2020 06:50

MN is my only SM. It is something I just don't 'get' and I'm a Xenial, so it emerged in my early 20's. I found it really intrusive and it made me uneasy, plus it was an absolute time thief.

I'm glad I bailed out when I did years ago as it has got worse and just seems to be a massive gloaty one-upmanship fest. It makes people act really strangely. I guess not being on it means I only hear about the bonkers narcissitic stuff.

I do miss out a lot though. When I speak to other mums, they are always asking if I'm going to xxxx and I never know what they mean. I have lot contact with lots of people over the years after moving out of town, having kids and still working full-time. Being on facebook and sending the odd msg now and then would have kept friendships going. I miss them! I hate it when events are just put on facebook and nowhere else as if everyone has it.

MarthasGinYard · 29/04/2020 06:54

Op YANBU

I have my MN account which is pretty ANON hopefully....

I was also pushed into having whats app by the school, although it can be useful I wish I didn't have it really. I'd quite like to delete it. I have no picture on there etc.

wildcherries · 29/04/2020 06:56

Yeah, it's up to you. But MN is social media. Agree with PP, just make sure your child isn't missing out on things only announced on FB groups. You can gave a profile without using it for other reasons.

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