I don't have Social Media AIBU?

[NameChaaaaanges]

As per the title.
I have no facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat anything.

The president of the PTA texted me "hi what's your Facebook? I want to add you to the school page"

Me: I don't have Facebook

Her: WTAF? Are you serious? Who in this century doesn't have FB?!

I didn't reply.
I am happy with no SM. I was bullied at high school, I have social anxiety and although I do well in general with social situations I just have no desire to get or have SM.
AIBU and if you don't have SM, why not if you don't mind me asking?

Oh, and YouTube and Zoom have been brilliant for accessing exercise classes/pilates/yoga etc. We also do a lot of virtual pub quizzes through YouTube that have all been advertised on Facebook first.

@HarryElephante I'm not sure how you get that she's looking for validation? She was just wondering who else doesn't have social media and wondering if she's unusual in not having it.

If she wanted validation, she would join facebook.

Some people have fb/ Twitter/ Instagram/ whatever and use it selectively. Others like to open up their lives on it. Others prefer not to have a presence. My preference is for people to do what they please and not make a deal of it. But being superior about not being on social media on social media is a bit puzzling. On this basis alone anyone here claiming that they are not on social media is definitely being unreasonable.

YANBU. I use MN and Reddit, but not typical social media sites. I don't use my real name or post any photos of myself anywhere online, and nobody I know in RL knows my online usernames. If other people want to put all the details of their life on Facebook, that's up to them, but they shouldn't be judgemental of those who aren't interested in it.

YANBU for not having any SM.

YABU for having some feeling of moral superiority about it. The same with most people on thread.

I know plenty of people who don't use it, including my own DH. Use it, don't use it. It's no skin off my nose.

However my life would be harder and poorer without it.
I use it for work, to promote my business, to interact with clients and also colleagues/peers. Instagram is for creativity and business. Twitter is purely for promotion.
My family live 5 hours away. My Dsis used to love in Asia. Without FB I'd have never been able to watch my dn's grow up inbwtwen visits.
Our family Whatsapp Group is an utter joy to me. It has 7 people in it. All my closest family. We talk to each other like we are around the kitchen table or sat together in the evening. Literally no-one else can see it or read it. What's destructive about that?

My other school Governors have a Whatsapp Group. It's a great way to quickly communicate ideas and quick decisions. It's private (as Whatsapp is)
My dcs Scout Group have a private Whatsapp Group.
Drama Group have a private FB Page.
It's amazing to rely information to larger group of people.

Like I said, use it/don't use it. But don't come over all superior because you don't engage. Why on earth would you feel you're somehow special because you don't want to connect?

Like I said my dh doesn't have SM. He spends his whole time asking me what's going on and what arrangements there are for activities etc.

Oh just to add I'm in 50's too.

I'm also a bit confused by a PP earlier saying there was a film of her being sick when she was 15 uploaded??

I've voted YANBU because it's entirely up to you, but I also agree completely with Ginfordinner.

And like pp have pointed out, you do go on social media as you're on it now, and WhatsApp isn't social media.

I only have Facebook, no insta or Snapchat, and I find it so so useful. It makes me laugh when I see people acting like it's evil. It's a tool, it's up to you how you use it, don't be so dense that you use it in a way that's detrimental to yourself and then come on here to complain about it (not you obviously, I'm talking about previous threads now). Although, they do say that a bad workman always blames his tools.

Yanbu not to do Facebook, Twitter etc. It’s totally personal choice. It does have its uses though, it’s not all a “cesspit” like another poster said. I think that if FB or Twitter bothered you so much then you are using it wrong and it’s your issue.

You know that Mumsnet is in itself social media?

Milicent

Certainly don’t feel superior, it’s just never appealed to me. Do get a bit cheesed off with people thinking I’m weird because I don’t though (inferior, you might say 😁)

Don't have it if you don't want it.
BUT, when people are organising stuff, it's so much easier to post it say on Facebook. I do feel it's a little rude when people have to get information to you, to expect them to do it twice just for you.

I actually think I would enjoy it, and it would also be useful.

The reason I don't have it is that I don't trust the providers not to abuse the users' data and invade their privacy. You only have to look at how FB have behaved at the time of elections around the world to know that there is something seriously dangerous and wrong.

No problem there, no-one sends me anything

It makes me laugh when I see people acting like it's evil. It's a tool, it's up to you how you use it

Indeed. I often find MN much more toxic than FB, as I can't control the other posters in the same way I can my FB feed. I can hide posters and topics, but it's nowhere near as easy to avoid negativity on here.

What a wonderful thread! I have found my own people!!
No, I don't have Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, Instagram. I have no LinkedIn page, I don't "follow" anyone nor "like" them, nor do I worry about who likes me. No-one can find weird pictures of me from the past or track my relatives or lifestyle through combing through my uploads. No one can influence my political thinking or buying habits from targeted adverts popping up on my sites....

All through choice. I also choose to have a basic mobile phone which doesn't connect to the internet and only does calls or texts. It is often switched off and not with me when I go out. I don't like being tracked around by a mobile signal, and I do not like being at other people's beck and call, thinking they can ring me whenever or wherever I am...

It is true that I have a laptop, I am on MumsNet and I do use some online shopping so I suppose that exposes me to some tracking or fraud. But very much less than would be the case otherwise.

My choice is mostly because I prefer to remain as "under the radar" as much as possible, I do not wish to be involved or influenced by other people's dramas and news stories, nor have my own life put out there on the internet. Absolutely NOTHING is private when posted online, even with the most stringent security/privacy settings.

Every so often someone wants to add me to their Facebook page or their WhatsApp group, and they can't. If they want to contact me they can e-mail or text, what on earth is wrong with that? And no, I refuse to load Zoom onto my laptop either. I do not want to have face-to-face conversations with anyone, if they want to talk, we telephone.

But I'm older, a total introvert, and absolutely love my freedom......

@bobstersmum
I have a blank FB page only to look at business pages. I don't have any friends or a profile photo. It comes in useful with the added bonus of not being visible to others

I’ve never had FB, Twitter, Insta etc. It’s never appealed. There was a point, 10 maybe more years ago where people were shocked that I’ve never had a FB account. But not so much now. It doesn’t seem to provoke so much puzzlement! I think there are tons of people who don’t use mainstream SM anymore.

Mrhodgeymaheg

Same!!

One or two friends remember and text me separately which is lovely of them but i know thats a big ask

I had to do whatsapp for work...which was a right pain, but it grew and grew and is handy to send photos to friends so ive kept it, so thats a pain when people share Facebook links and everyone on the chat is laughing and im like ‘what?what did it say????’

I found social media so infuriating I cancelled it all. Much happier now

I do have Whatsapp - essential for keeping in touch with my mum. And I do have a little insta account but it's private.

I've never had FB and never felt the need. Like a PP said, once upon a time people would think that odd but now not so much.

Every so often someone wants to add me to their Facebook page or their WhatsApp group, and they can't. If they want to contact me they can e-mail or text

But WhatsApp is pretty much identical to texting.

Why is one acceptable, but the other isn't?

I only got “the Facebook” about 3 years ago, mostly to do messenger with family. I only had immediate family initially, a couple of friends asked to connect so they are now on, and as DH doesn’t have it either, I have admin control over a page for a body that he Chairs - which was handed on from previous Chair. I think I’ve posted about 5 times since I joined.

Most people take a second look at me in surprise when I first say I don’t use it, but accept it after that. It’s not a mandatory part of modern life after all! 😉😄

@AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff if you haven't seen it for yourself I'd be very suspicious of the person who allegedly saw it and "gave them what for".

In all my time on SM (my job is in social media marketing) I'm yet to see a home video converted from 40 years ago. I doubt it is actually on there.

But I'm older, a total introvert, and absolutely love my freedom......

Can I ask, are you retired?

I totally accept your choices, but reading through them I was struck by how I just couldn't refuse to use Zoom for example, because my job demands it. I'd also struggle without Linked In, not so much for reading about others career boasts (we can all do without that!) but because it's where I access a lot of information about training opportunities etc.

I think it's all in how you use it. I never really recognise these descriptions of SM as a "cesspit" so I think it must be who they follow and what they look at. I don't post anything about myself really; use FB for events, local pages etc., use IG to look at pretty pictures and for photography and WhatsApp isn't SM as pp have said, it's private messaging. No need for showing off or oversharing, it is what you make it. I think not having SM might be the new not having a TV (used to know ppl in the 90s who boasted about not having a TV and how they had more time for 'important' things)