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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't have Social Media AIBU?

160 replies

NameChaaaaanges · 29/04/2020 05:15

As per the title.
I have no facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat anything.

The president of the PTA texted me "hi what's your Facebook? I want to add you to the school page"

Me: I don't have Facebook

Her: WTAF? Are you serious? Who in this century doesn't have FB?!

I didn't reply.
I am happy with no SM. I was bullied at high school, I have social anxiety and although I do well in general with social situations I just have no desire to get or have SM.
AIBU and if you don't have SM, why not if you don't mind me asking?

OP posts:
RingtheBells · 29/04/2020 08:03

I only have twitter and that is only used for things like if the water goes off or there is a power cut to contact the company for information.

Ohfrigginghellers · 29/04/2020 08:04

What a weird and rude response from her! I'd just ignore or reply with a 😂 response

Sparkles333 · 29/04/2020 08:05

@AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff
I know its hard when that kind of thing happens but you have to try not to let it get to you too much. It seems they were bullies then and are still bullies now, they obviosly need to grow up and get a life. Is there someone you know that can report the video so that its taken off ?

GrimmsFairytales · 29/04/2020 08:08

I've found our local FB group to be incredibly useful during the lock down. Plenty of people wanting to help others, and provide information about shop opening times and where to get difficult to find items.

I know as a site it's often negative and toxic, but in this instance it's been very helpful.

As others have said Whats App isn't anything like the other forms of social media, I would say MN is much more of a social media platform.

opticaldelusion · 29/04/2020 08:12

I love it when people come on social media to say they don't use social media.

Gatehouse77 · 29/04/2020 08:13

I went on Facebook when my eldest did. DC2 then went on. It was boring as fuck and DC3 didn’t bother. They only use it for messaging. I deleted my account a couple of years ago.
I went on Instagram for the same reason because they were posting photos on it. They’ve stopped that too 🙄 I’ve stayed on but only to see my cousins posts because she’s an artist and I like her work! But if anyone asked, I’d say I’m not on anything.
And, being a stubborn and bloody minded person, I would not go on any of them if it was ‘expected’.

isabellerossignol · 29/04/2020 08:14

It's up to you whether or not you have social media, obviously. Loads of people don't have Facebook, it's far from universal.

I don't really understand why people class WhatsApp as social media though, it's just a messaging service. I'd really struggle to stay in contact with anyone without it.

ineedsun · 29/04/2020 08:14

It's up to you. You do though. You're on here.

Ginfordinner · 29/04/2020 08:14

A lot of posters are on this thread are under the misapprehension that social media is only for the narcissistic, self absorbed individual. Actually it isn't. Yes, Facebook and Instagram do contains posts from a large number of these people, but Facebook, especially can be a very useful tool if used correctly.

Since lockdown began our local community Facebook pages have been full of usefull information that isn't readily available elsewhere such as which bins the council are not emptying for the foreseeable future, why the tips are closed, which shops are open, which shops are offering a delivery service, what is happening to local public transport. We also have a Facebook group whose members are volunteers running errands and shopping for the vulnerable.

Our local Facebook pages are also updatedwith information about accidents/snow/loose animals on the road. They are an excellent platform for selling unwanted items, finding out about local events and finding out what has been cancelled.

A lot of local small businesses don't have the technical expertise or money to have a website, so they have a Facebook page instead. Several small local eating places can only be booked via Facebook. The council are updating bin collections on Facebook and the local paper (which is only published once a week).

Have social media or don't, but please don't act all morally superior becasue you don't. None of my Facebook friends post stupid stuff because I am choosy about who I follow. And my privacy settings are set at the highest level.

Apple1029 · 29/04/2020 08:16

Exactly Gin!

OP nobody is going to give you a badge for it.

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 29/04/2020 08:18

I’ve no idea @Sparkles333

I was sick with drink. Not the first not the last. As far as I know the person who told me about it gave the poster (?) what for but I’ve no idea if it is still there.

You are right though. Smile

I shouldn’t give it any headspace.

Gatehouse77 · 29/04/2020 08:19

Oh, the reason I don’t bother is I’m not interested in sharing the minutiae or the ‘big’ stuff in my life publicly. I have few friends but those that are I meet up with/call/message regularly so don’t need to read about it.

I really don’t understand the 500 friends bit - most of them are merely acquaintances so wouldn’t share personal information with them anyway.

Nochangeplease · 29/04/2020 08:19

I wouldn’t class whatsapp as sm. it’s just a messaging service like text messaging. People tend to use that more than texting so it’s how I communicate with everyone from my mum down to work colleagues. You can also have group chats which can be useful. But it’s not used for posting things publicly like social media is and it’s only for people you have given your
Phone number too.
I could get rid of all the others, but not whatsapp.

isabellerossignol · 29/04/2020 08:22

I'm not accusing the OP of this but just wanted to mention it because I think it's relevant. I don't care if people use social media or not but I do get mightily pissed off at people who don't want to be on there themselves but expect other people to use it on their behalf. 'oh, could you just check the. PTA page and see what time they want the volunteers to arrive at' or 'could you check the opening hours of that cafe, I don't use Facebook'. If you opt out of using it, which is perfectly reasonable, you also have to accept that you can't use it for the useful bits.

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/04/2020 08:25

Ginfordinner
That was a good explanation and exactly why social media can be useful rather than just an annoyance. It is also pretty easy to ignore people.

bobstersmum · 29/04/2020 08:25

I don't have it simply because I have no desire to reconnect with every person I've ever met in my entire life, nor do I want to read everyone's drivel, woes, drama etc. I wouldn't actually mind there being an option to be a sort of blank account just to access pages of interest, as we were recently looking for a rescue cat and all the pages on fb you needed an account to enquire.

LastTrainEast · 29/04/2020 08:27

ok strictly speaking MN is social media, but we all know what the OP means. We're supposed to carry a phone at all times and be on call to respond to Twitter, FB etc

I have accounts for most of them as sometimes you need them to access other things, but they are all anonymous and I never give them to people. People can email/text me and if they don't know my number that's probably because I have no interest in hearing from them.

I suppose some of it could have been useful if people hadn't used it to tell each other what they were eating for lunch and vilifying others for what they had for lunch.

Sparkles333 · 29/04/2020 08:30

@AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff
Id say most of us have been there and done it, its just not something you want recording.
Thank god there was no social media when i was at school, we used to get up to alsorts 😳

CandyMan10 · 29/04/2020 08:30

Is mumsnet forums not social media then?

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 29/04/2020 08:31

I completely stand by your stance on this, but would suggest that when your kids get SM you at least educate yourself on how each platform works, if not get accounts yourself. You need to be able to monitor their presence online to keep them safe, if you're a luddite they'll run rings around you.

GrimmsFairytales · 29/04/2020 08:31

I wouldn't actually mind there being an option to be a sort of blank account just to access pages of interest

It's perfectly possible to do just this. You don't need to add friends or post updates.

TerrapinStation · 29/04/2020 08:32

As it's entirely up to you whether you use SM I have to agree with the posters who say you're looking for validation or congratulatioi.

Why does the opinion of the PTA person matter, are you going to sign up to all the SM site of everyone here says you should?

Ginfordinner · 29/04/2020 08:33

Why, thank you Mummyoflittledragon

Oh, the reason I don’t bother is I’m not interested in sharing the minutiae or the ‘big’ stuff in my life publicly

But you don't have to do that if you have Facebook Gatehouse77. You could have an account, never post on it and just use it to access all sorts of local information.

I agree with you isabellerossignol

Chillipeanuts · 29/04/2020 08:34

Same here, nothing at all. No laptop or iPad either. Have this phone, people instructed to call it in emergencies only, landline for other things. Have managed to make it to mid 50s quite happily.
Only signed up on here a couple of weeks ago, suddenly found I had too much time on my hands ...... 😁

Adviceneeded123456987 · 29/04/2020 08:38

YANBU
Until someone knows the feeling of anxiety and bullying they will never really understand. I think it’s great that your mental health and happiness comes before SM. It can be useful but most of the time it’s quite braggy and sadly the amount of keyboard warriors and online bullies do ruin it for many people.