Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I don't have Social Media AIBU?

160 replies

NameChaaaaanges · 29/04/2020 05:15

As per the title.
I have no facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat anything.

The president of the PTA texted me "hi what's your Facebook? I want to add you to the school page"

Me: I don't have Facebook

Her: WTAF? Are you serious? Who in this century doesn't have FB?!

I didn't reply.
I am happy with no SM. I was bullied at high school, I have social anxiety and although I do well in general with social situations I just have no desire to get or have SM.
AIBU and if you don't have SM, why not if you don't mind me asking?

OP posts:
lokoho · 29/04/2020 06:57

I don't use FB - plenty don't. But I have an account with a notice pinned on it saying hi and I don't use it and that seems to be less trouble than not having one at all.

It is easier to have these things and not use them unless it's required for some reason than to completely refuse them, which becomes its own kind of time sink. I caved on the mobile phone in 2017. It is easier to own one and leave it plugged in in a drawer, so then I can take it abroad and at home access stuff when I need to (my bank requires some esoteric ritual involving a mobile phone now for some reason).

I'm not interested in these things and they annoy me, but it's even more hassle to totally refuse them, and as I don't care very much, I generally engage at the point where the hassle of not having them overtakes the hassle of having them.

ClutterbuckFarm · 29/04/2020 07:00

I have Facebook but I only use it to keep up with what is going on locally through my community page. I don’t have my photo on there and don’t share anything about myself.

You could set up Facebook just to access the PTA page - you don’t even need to use your real name if you don’t want to or allow anyone to contact you.

Bluesheep8 · 29/04/2020 07:01

I don't have anything except MN. Or does Pinterest count? No FB or Instagram. Colleagues and family often ask why I'm not on FB or Whatsapp and say I miss out on things but I hate the idea of both tbh. FB in particular would increase my anxiety levels no end.

pilates · 29/04/2020 07:06

YANBU
I use WhatsApp just for group chats.
I know people who use Facebook to spy on people and gossip about them.

AvalancheKit · 29/04/2020 07:07

No FB, Instagram, Pinterest, Snapchat. No drugs, drink, gambling, shoplifting. Life is too short for addictions. They rob us of time.

We only have time.

Mustbethewine · 29/04/2020 07:09

Absolutely NBU for not having SM. I know plenty of people who dont have any SM. Tell her to get a grip!

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 29/04/2020 07:11

I understand that MN is social media but not one that gives a person the ability to search by a person’s name.

I get that you could set up other names on Twitter and the likes but this is not something my colleagues would think ‘I bet her user name has something with Doreen in it’

Bluesheep8 · 29/04/2020 07:15

And the response you got from the PTA was downright rude OP. Why would you want to engage with people who think it's acceptable to speak to people like that anyway?Confused

GobbleGob · 29/04/2020 07:21

I don't have anything. I did but I was suffering with me MH badly due to something else and I found social media wasn't helping at all, constantly comparing my life and how shit I thought it was with other people etc...

I'm much happier living in my little bubble now not really knowing what's going on with anyone other than my close friends who I text and speak over the phone to.

GobbleGob · 29/04/2020 07:21

With my*

Mucklowe · 29/04/2020 07:22

I know loads of people who don't have it. It isn't something special or unique.

Patch23042 · 29/04/2020 07:23

Obviously it is your choice OP and there’s nothing wrong with it, as long as you don’t complain if you miss out on certain information because you’ve chosen not to be in a position to receive it. Not that you say you have done!

I understand the bullying thing. It would be horrible to see the photograph/name of some scumbag who hounded you pop up when you were browsing your home town’s museum’s page or whatever.

Umnoway · 29/04/2020 07:23

YANBU at all. I haven’t had FB for years which does surprise some people because I’m fairly young but honestly it does nothing for me, never has.

Bottomplasters · 29/04/2020 07:27

What on earth did they record you being sick on 30 odd years ago? @AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff

Changeofname79 · 29/04/2020 07:28

I know lots of people who dont have social media, for a variety of reasons. I don't see it as a big deal. I do also know a few people who set up accounts purely for school info groups. IMO it's very easy to control if need be. During lockdown it has been amazing as my DCs have had music lessons via messenger and various other platforms.

I don't see WhatsApp in the same way, it's no different to text messaging, people can only message you if they have your phone number. You can control who can message you etc. I don't really see the issue with it if you control the settings on there properly. I belong to various activities and it would be impossible (especially during these times) to manage without it. Although saying that my choir is using Facebook live to run rehearsals so even the elderly members have had to get on board during lockdown.

Our school uses all the SM but not exclusively except for school trips abroad, they will text all parents to say they have arrived but any further updates until the text to say they are on their way home are on twitter/instagram.

Fatasfooook · 29/04/2020 07:30

It’s a life sucking cesspit. You’re wise not to have it.

OhioOhioOhio · 29/04/2020 07:30

Finally people who understand. I can't stand all the covert showing off.

lockdownbirthdayhelp · 29/04/2020 07:32

@Bottomplasters presumably a camcorder ....

Op yanbu however I do find Facebook quite useful for finding child friendly events nearby etc. and just keeping in touch with people in general. If it didn't exist I'm sure I'd find another way to do these things though.

StarlightLady · 29/04/2020 07:34

MN is social media!

TreeTopTim · 29/04/2020 07:42

SM is useful in some ways. Especially at a time like this. I am following a few baby activities through FB live. Keeping up to date with information. Keeping in touch with friends. Asking for advice on specific topics through groups that I am in. It can offer a lot of used properly.

I do not post on SM. Not a lot of people know that I was pregnant and have had a baby. There is not a single photo of my DC on SM. Unless someone had a camera in my home and followed me when I went out no one knows what I get up to because I don't broadcast it.

You mentioned the PTA so I am assuming that you have young DC. A lot of schools now will post information online only so your DC may be missing out.

SM is only the devil if you let it be. It can also be a fantastic source of help and information.

Emeeno1 · 29/04/2020 07:44

I tried social media but it messes with my thinking. I don't even have a smartphone anymore but fully admit it is my inability to cope with modern life.

LagunaBubbles · 29/04/2020 07:49

HarryElephante I'm not really asking for validation as such more of other people's opinions

But you are asking for validation otherwise you would be comfortable not having social media. I love FB, use it for all sorts of things but would never come on these threads and slag off anyone who doesnt use it, in the way some people come on and act superior because they don't have it. That's not you BTW. Just be happy in your choice not to have it.

AwrightDoreenTakeAFuckinDayOff · 29/04/2020 07:58

I have absolutely no idea @bottomplasters - I was probably not the only one either Blush

But to take the time to get it from whatever antiquated system it was filmed on and put it on face book many, many years later is not funny. Not to me anyway. And they put my full name on it too. And then asked ‘I wonder where she is now - in a gutter? hahaha Seriously though, if someone knows where she is, get in touch - it would be lovely to catch up’. So I’m told.

And this from someone who put their cigarette into the skin on my temple (still have the scar) ‘to wake me up as they were worried as I was mumbling to myself...

I’m someone who sits in the shadows in my personal life - trying to blend away. And I’ve done it since school.

The thought of these people trying to get in touch doesn’t thrill me.

emilybrontescorsett · 29/04/2020 07:58

Op- you are not missing much.
I do have WhatsApp groups. One for work and others to keep in touch with friends. I've found them more useful during lockdown as one was started to form a midweek quiz night which I enjoy.
I don't have Instagram or Snapchat and I find FB to be quite boring.
I think WhatsApp has overtaken FB for me as it's small intimate groups.

Nicedayforawedding · 29/04/2020 08:00

Knowing how toxic social media can be I actually think that people who don’t use social media are incredibly wise and probably have a greater sense of peace of mind.

Seriously considering coming off it although Facebook messenger has helped me stay in touch with people.