I don't have Social Media AIBU?

[NameChaaaaanges]

As per the title.
I have no facebook, Twitter, Instagram, WhatsApp, Snapchat anything.

The president of the PTA texted me "hi what's your Facebook? I want to add you to the school page"

Me: I don't have Facebook

Her: WTAF? Are you serious? Who in this century doesn't have FB?!

I didn't reply.
I am happy with no SM. I was bullied at high school, I have social anxiety and although I do well in general with social situations I just have no desire to get or have SM.
AIBU and if you don't have SM, why not if you don't mind me asking?

Surely Nobody really uses Facebook anymore? I’m 31 - but have younger cousins (early 20s and a teenage stepson) apparently Only old people use Facebook now 😂

I’ve never had Facebook! None of my friends use Facebook?

Surely WhatsApp is enough for a pta group?

@Ginfordinner

I can also do that by checking websites. If I want to know anything council related I look on their website. I look at the local news website, local theatre, etc. The information is there already so, for me, I can't see the reason for having another platform 🤷‍♀️

apparently Only old people use Facebook now

Definitely not the case.

There’s some kind of strange mindset on MN that if you have no social media you’re somehow a superior being.
Have it or don’t have it. If you have it make it work for you. It doesn’t make you special either way.

Exactly. The way some talk about what's on facebook etc. makes me wonder if they should chose better friends in real life tbh...

I like SM for all the groups I'm in and to keep in touch with a class, but I wished I'd kept my FB anonymous. Loads of work colleagues have added me. It's like they wanted to snoop more than anything, and that spending 20 plus hours together a week was not enough quality time to know me and seeing my sm life would gain some insight on me. It wont, I post very little personal stuff there.

If I haven't added them they hunt me down to ask why! God leave me alone! I particularly regret having my managers on FB and have them message me on Sunday afternoons with the most inane crap that could wait.

I'm starting to think about faking my account 'death', saying its been hacked and shutting it down. Its pathetic I'm caught in this first world cycle of nonsense. So, no, yanbu.

DH functions with minimal social media, just a minimal Linkdin profile.

I use FB and am linked to some of his extended family, so he gets updates by proxy from me.

It's me that has the FB pages from all the DC's activities. Generally useful, but particularly when life was changing very rapidly back in March.

Running one youth group, when flood waters were rising rapidly this winter and it became clear with one hour's notice that we wouldn't have enough leaders getting back from work to function safely, we needed to notify a cancellation ASAP. A message on FB took 30 seconds to notify the majority of parents. We have had some stubborn "I only do email/ text" types. We are not supposed to have personal contact details saved on our phones. We have to log in to the clunky organisation database, download the relevant information, blind copy into an email and it is a much slower, more complicated process than just posting on a closed page. It is far harder to communicate with people who don't use social media and remember who the exceptions are and cater for their preference. Experience says they are not the most reliable at checking and responding either.

One of my DC's leaders is quite "spammy" with a large volume of random stuff we could be doing (and won't because I don't have DCs like that). I'm glad it's all on the FB page as it's far easier to scroll and ignore than if it was sent via email and cluttering my account.

DM doesn't have a mobile or other 21st century technology. DS1 does not talk on phones. I'm unable to show her any pictures of the DC or physically see her. I live at a distance and haven't seen her since she was in hospital in Feb. The DCs haven't seen her since Christmas. I'd like to think she's looking far healthier than the last time I saw her (I cancelled seeing her in early March so I couldn't share what I hoped was a cold).

People are well within their rights not to engage with modern communications, but other people do care about it because it frequently imposes consequences upon others.

I'm just glad to know that it's now worth putting my garden waste bin out tonight because I had a message from the council's fb pages, rather than wondering what's going on for the next few weeks.

LittleViolets

None of your posts came across like you think you are superior for not having SM or that your looking for validation.
I don't either have FB,Twitter,Instagram either, and I'm in my 30's.I did have some of them at one stage in my early 20's but came off them.
I do have WhatsApp but don't think of that like SM,people have to have your number to WhatsApp you.
I did like Reddit for a bit and had an account but then found MN and signed up here instead.I find it overwhelming to have loads of SM accounts.
I don't have a telly either

I didn't have Facebook til about 3 years ago, I didn't like the sound of it, all stress and showing off and was quite pleased I was above the fray.

Then I joined FB and now I really like it! Am in touch more easily with a much wider set of my friends, different ones than the ones I call all the time, just keeps the connections ticking over, seeing their kids, their gardens, holidays, I've really enjoyed it. Great for keeping in touch with family abroad and posting the odd photo of my children for them to enjoy. There are a lot of happy memories contained in those posts over the past couple of years- like the snow a couple of years back. I don't repost those memories, they are just for me to enjoy.

My teens wouldn't be seen dead on FB though, it's all Insta, Whatsapp and other ones.

If you've tried it and don't like it, then sensible just to ignore it. But I only have my actual friends on there so seeing what my RL friends are up to, and none are excessive posters, is nice, I also message a lot from FB one to one.

I don't have facebook, I used to but I realised that its very shallow plus people overshare on it. I previously worked in online crime and I could easily piece together whole lives just on what they posted online.

Look at Mrs Hinch for example; you can find her address easily and she gives you a full tour of her house daily, showing you all the nice things she has inside that house. She's stupid to think criminals aren't watching her, and that goes for anyone else doing similar.

I’m not feeling superior for not having social media. I’m feeling concerned about how frequently it’s use is mandated, and how easily people are being conned and manipulated into every dystopian future ever invented. The best hope is the number of IT experts who are raising these issues themselves.

YABU for having some feeling of moral superiority about it.

@Millicentbystander72 read the OP again. There is absolutely no hint of moral superiority in it. The OP has said that her social anxiety is the main reason she doesn't have SM. Not that she thinks herself better than anyone else.

YABU for having some feeling of moral superiority about it.

@Millicentbystander72 read the OP again. There is absolutely no hint of moral superiority in it. The OP has said that her social anxiety is the main reason she doesn't have SM. Not that she thinks herself better than anyone else.

(sorry, forgot to bold the quote last time)

I find my friends who aren't on fb or what's app are very hard to engage with any way other than in person. They often don't really text either other than to arrange an in person meet up. We're all busy, and this naturally leads to a larger feeling of distance between us, and, as I don't feel as connected with the little interactions that SM presents, the friendship doesn't feel as strong or as worthwhile. Those friendships can drift.

It's also a pain to try and organise group get togethers if someone refuses to join any of the platforms others use. It's tedious having to retype everything on text or email. If that person could just create a minimal account for the purpose of connecting with real life friends it would make life easier for their friends, they'd probably be invited to more things (I admit to having accidentally forgotten people who aren't easy to just invite, oops), and it would really help in the give and take and connection of the friendship.

In these busy lockdown times I'm finding SM even more useful for connecting with people, and feeling less connected to those who don't engage. So, of course, it is the choice of the individual, but it will have impacts on them, and those around them. Obviously this depends on how most of their friendship groups interact, but if it's primarily SM, and you won't, it can feel like hard work.

There's not a single criticism of social media on this thread that isn't equally true of MN.

Anyway, I'm glad I have Facebook, even though I don't use it a lot. I have a lot of family in Australia, and it's made a massive impact on how connected I feel to them now.
My 92 year old auntie has just joined FB in order to watch her church's streamed services on a Sunday. The family in Australia were so thrilled to see her name pop up and be able to share their photos and things with her.

But yes, you can get a lot out of FB without even friending anyone. The school can reach you on it, you have access to local information etc, but you don't risk anything that could stress you out. If you get friend requests, just ignore them.

Err good for you🙄

Depends on how you use SM and who you are friends with and what they post. I wonder how the people with no what’s up and SM stay in touch with friends and family? Mine are all over the place and abroad so rely heavily on SM and group chats. If all your friends and family are local and you see all the time I guess it is not needed.

There are a number of posters looking to appear morally superior to all of the social media 'conformists' Of course as someone who uses social media to share photos of my garden and keep in touch with friends and relatives overseas I am clearly an oversharer who loves daily drama and a dullard who can't see the clear danger in what I am doing. Maybe I too should stay under the radar and reject social media. I'll make sure I tell everyone on Mumsnet because that's not social media. Hey, wait ...
I am intrigued by the school staff comment. It seems that teacher bashing edges in in the most unlikely posts. .

It can be useful sometimes. Without following Chester zoo on insta (and other SM), I would miss the info that they are doing live virual tours. Or virtual tours in our museums.
But again. There is nothing wrong on having it or not having it. Imho the level of happiness it can bring just very much depends on how you use it, if you use it.

There's not a single criticism of social media on this thread that isn't equally true of MN.

Its anonymous, and the same with the likes of Reddit I assume too. The etiquette is slightly different and it can be more cathartic sometimes. You can discuss things on sites like this more freely than on FB, which are self-branding platforms, even if you're not actually selling anything, you're selling yourself on named sm platforms.

“Non conforming” is a crime now is it @isabellerossignol?

Where did I say that?

If you participate in an organisation and know what their communication methods are, but you refuse to engage with those communication methods and expect others to do all the work for you, then yes, I think it's unreasonable. If you do all the work yourself to find an alternative method of communication then that's very different.

I don't have Facebook.

Although Mumsnet talk IS social media.

Of course YANBU. Social media can be problematic and is a massive time sucker. But... I ditched FB and Instagram (I don't do Twitter) for a while (in order to spend less time online, not because of any problems with social media use). But actually what I found was that it's MN that's my massive time sucker and MN where I might occasionally get irritated, wound up or argumentative.

My FB use is entirely positive and benign, because, unlike on MN, I choose who I interact with. And I only interact with nice friends and groups. If they were problematic I'd unfollow them. I find MN fascinating, addictive, controversial , sometimes hilarious, sometimes infuriating. I periodically ditch it but always come back.

@cocklepicker

Oh I hope so. Only quite well off people had access to such things in our area - which is why I can’t understand that such a thing existed in our circles. I certainly didn’t know there was one that night.

The person who told me is a terrible gossip but they are also A good bit older than me. They wouldn’t have known the whens and wheres - would they?

As sparkles said, I’m bloody glad that I grew up in the times where everything isn’t held up for public scrutiny on tiny wee devices.