To hate fucking "catch up" phone calls

[NotKeenOnSwede]

I hate people phoning me. I'm a texter. Unless I have anything important to say or it's been a long time since I've spoken to someone and there's genuinely things to catch up on I just can't be bothered with all that drivel about the shit we've all been doing today oh I got up at 8am oh I had my nails done. I only really phone my Mum and a couple of immediate relatives who I'm very close to, just to see if they're okay. When I meet up with friends (believe it or not I have friends) I'm engaging and friendly but I just hate phone calls. I have very little to say at the best of times and I'm just almost in pain waiting for it to end. I've told people before I rarely phone anyone and I'm not one for phones and they still call me. Why?! I'm isolating alone and it's really made me realise how little I need to interact with people. Please just take the hint! It's like a game of tennis, you have to keep it going. Can any introverts relate?!

This thread has shown that there in no link between being an introvert and not liking the phone. Extroverts are just as likely to dislike it.

Anyway, what I really hate is when, if you don't answer the phone, the person (my sibling in my case) texts, 'can you call me ASAP.'
(And if I did call back, it was to ask me an unreasonable favour.

I had a very needy so called friend block me on facebook because I never replied to her message that she sent me just two days prior. I had so much shit going on st the time and messages pinging from everywhere that I didnt see it at first.
My kids face time me a lot and I bloody hate it..my mums started doing it now too but i got my teeth shes stuck in lockdown with her twat of a partner and i suspect shes very very fed up

Yes me too. I've said no to all friends that have asked me to do a Zoom call. I like them but the thought of that fills me with fear and stresses me out.

To all the posters who are happy ignoring the human race, moaning about the utter inconvenience of speaking to those who can be bothered to contact them unless it suits them and are so happy on their own...why post? Unless you want a medal for your isolation....get over yourselves...May the world not speak to you when this is lifted as they cannot find you anyway up your own arse.

Thank goodness I thought it was just me. I am quite an introvert however most people I know wouldn't think so as I'll talk to anyone and I'm friendly and chatty. I hate chatting on the phone and particularly hate video calls I find them intrusive and I really don't have much to say as nothing is going on. I love my friends dearly but prefer small groups or one to one and in person!!

"Some people get their energy from talking, people, conversations etc. I'm the opposite it just absolutely drains me my social battery is getting flatter and flatter the older I get. I'm just going to have to tell people look just text me and I'll see you when I see you for fucks sake."

Im exactly the same. I have anxiety and talking on the phone is a massive trigger and unfortunately a big part of my job so when i get home i need to switch off from it so will often ignore the phone then send a text as a response.

CoolDad2020

Just pretend text doesn’t exist like the old days.....stop hiding behind your phone and interact like people should.....miserable fucka’s

Why should your want to talk and interact over ride my need to not?? Get over yourself ffs

It also occurs to me that illnesses are not equal in this. There are a lot of people saying here they have anxiety, clearly a recognised mental illness. However...how is a mental illness a reason to excuse your behaviour to people who are reaching out to you...normally who care for you and trying to help with your anxiety by assuring you how much they enjoy, dare I say love, your company.
If you had cancer, would you tell the oncologist and or Macmillan nurse your illness couldn’t be doing with them and bugger off till is suits??

Reading this thread, the people who don’t like talking on the phone are just stating their preference, no value judgements are being made about people who do like it, they’re just saying it’s not for them. On the other hand, the people who do like speaking on the phone are OUTRAGED at the very idea that some people have different communication preferences to them and are making all sorts of proclamations as to how miserable/antisocial/devoid of warmth in their lives anyone who doesn’t like to chat on the phone must be.

It’s been a very amusing read.

I dislike it too. It makes me nervy and I struggle on the phone, although not face to face. I also dislike facetime.

They might not want to talk now, but if so, why talk at all? If you don’t want to talk to people on lockdown, why talk at all? The pride that people are exhibiting on this thread, and others, to not talking to anyone , not needing anyone apart from themselves, a partner and or children is nothing short of disturbing. I ask the question again...if you are so happy in your own company, why on earth are you reading and posting on here? Go and enjoy knitting your own yoghurt and cooking over a fire pit and everyone ignoring you

I don’t mind people phoning me but it absolutely grates when friends video call me without it being pre planned.

I took a work skype call on my mobile yesterday and didn’t even realise for the first 10 minutes that my colleague was on video because the phone was pressed to my ear. 🤷‍♂️

FFS the doors swings both ways. Why should she endure discomfort to keep someone happy? Her friends should realise she just doesn’t enjoy it and not take is personal. I personally adopt the “not giving a fuck” attitude (from the Life Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fuck”. It’s really interesting. Think of a fuck budget that you allow yourself every day. You only have so many fucks to spend and this problem shouldn’t be one of them. So you don’t like talking on the phone. So don’t do it. No big deal. Explain it to your pals and be done with it. Don’t give all the fucks you’re currently giving about it. Worrying what they think. Wondering if you’re being unreasonable..... FUCK IT!

And I too am an introvert and have suffered so much over the years. I’m actually really outgoing and not shy at all (a common misconception is that we’re shy). I just get over-stimulated in large groups and get energy from being alone with my thoughts. It’s overwhelmingly unfair and dickish when people start throwing the term “antisocial” around like you should be ashamed. Society is questionable.

YANBU. Fuck it

If keeping in touch is such an onerous thing for so many of you why don't you just switch your phones off or go out without them.

I like keeping in touch. Via text. That's why people would know I am ignoring them if they call, because I usually answer texts/whatsapp within about ten minutes.

It's NOT that I don't want to talk!!! It's that I don't want to talk about NOTHING.

buggrit it’s so true isn’t it - the same as happens in RL. Introverts just want to be left alone sometimes and don’t tend to attack people for enjoying chatting and parties. But some non-introverts seem very threatened by the idea that anyone would be happy alone, even just for a while, and accuse us of all sorts - being miserable, anti-social or sad, not liking anyone, having no right to communicate by other means because we won’t do it “properly” etc.

For me this attitude is part of the pressure that makes socialising even more difficult. Even so, I do socialise and have friends, but it makes such a difference to be understood and not judged for not always being up for it.

Bloody hell, think yourself lucky its just a phone call, I am inundated with Zoom, Google Hangouts and dratted Face Time. Never get the lighting right, don't know how to end a video call and I can't be bloody bothered. Bah!

"I'm not referring to old or lonely people by the way, they are not the people phoning me and if they were of course I would have a different attitude but they're not. "

Nobody you know is lonely in lockdown?
I don't like the phone, but video callas are a lifeline for me now. I couldn't go two or three months without talking to ANYONE.

I like texts. I hate talking on the phone and most of my family understand this and don’t phone me . I also prefer to be on my own. This has got worse since my husband died 12 years ago. I live with my daughter and her family. She loves parties ( and so did I before my husband died ) and has 2 or 3 parties a year . I attend for about an hour and then go up to my room . My family understand my need to be alone as they understand my need for no phone calls

I'm like this too - people are different simple!

May the world not speak to you when this is lifted as they cannot find you anyway up your own arse

Charming. It's so odd how quite horrible people have friends and perfectly reasonable people don't.

If keeping in touch is such an onerous thing for so many of you why don't you just switch your phones off or go out without them

I do (or as I mentioned earlier, I often leave my mobile in another room to charge and it's on vibrate so I don't necessarily hear it if it rings). And I don't routinely take it out with me if I am only out for a short time like walking to my local shops. But as I also mentioned above, if you have to leave your phone on for work, it always rings at an inconvenient time.

Anyway "keeping in touch" isn't onerous. I am quite happy to text and email/message. What I don't like is the intrusiveness of a phone call with someone insisting that they must speak to me now and their time is more valuable than mine (same goes for instant messaging at work, which I don't like either).

@LittleGsmum. Totally agree with you, people who are lonely like to talk. Some of these posters
sound like miserable unsocial folk. Isolation is dreadful, ask those widowed or those without families.

I really dislike FaceTime etc., but I know my friend misses seeing people, so I do it for her. I phone my dad, and DH’s mum, but I message most other people. I’m not terribly comfortable on the phone, but it’s not just about me at the moment, is it?

Same here. Definitely an introvert trait I think. I just don’t answer the phone.

@JoysOfString - Be careful what you wish for, you might end up entirely on your own, constantly