To not have sex with HPV infected partner?

[Bubbles207]

Unfortunately I had a HPV positive, moderate abnormal smear result in January. I had treatment which was successful (and hopefully got rid of the HPV, although I won’t know until August when I have a follow up test of cure smear).

My partner and I haven’t had sex since I had the treatment. He’s the only person I’ve slept with, so I know he gave me the HPV and is very likely to still have it.

AIBU to end things over this? I can’t imagine sleeping with him again now, then finding out I have HPV again in August because he’s just passed it back on to me again. The doctor said HPV is very common and they don’t screen for it (except smears) so surely even if I ended things and met someone else, they could just (unknowingly) give it to me since men aren’t screened?

surely some women must find out they have HPV even when in long term relationships/marriages .. and not end things over it?

Feel really anxious about it all, I don’t want to never have sex again but I can already feel the lack of intimacy affecting things.. and I wouldn’t expect someone to stay with me when I’m refusing to have sex.

@Pigeonpresent to be fair on him, he has been really understanding about me not wanting to sleep with him at the moment.. and I had a infection during the recovery which was awful and he was really supportive. But he just doesn’t take the HPV seriously AT ALL, which was a bit frustrating when I found out I had it and needed the treatment. Even though it is common, the precancerous cells has been the most serious health issue I’ve ever had and the whole experience was quite scary but he was just downplaying the whole thing

It's been explained to you several times that cure does not mean the hpv. This was mentioned in the letter as the test to show if the cells are normal is the combined smear and HPV test. The cure part just refers to having no further abnormal cells. The test was simply listed in front of the result they are looking for ('cure' of the cin cells)

Continuing to have sex with your partner won't make any difference at this stage

Yes I know @midnightstar66 it’s just that over the 8 weeks of appointments/colposcopy/treatment I was consistently told that the HPV should go from the treatment, and that your body usually eliminates it anyway so I can’t understand why they would all give me incorrect information!

I’ll definitely go back when the follow up smear is due anyway.

The doctor who actually did the LLETZ explained it as the HPV lives on the part of the cervix which they remove.. so when they remove that area, and there are clear margins, there isn’t anywhere on the cervix where the HPV could be left behind. But I will call up the department to clarify, because so many people on this thread have said the opposite

No he’s talking about the cell changes on the margins and the cell changes on the cervix.

He cannot know whether you will clear it yourself via your immune system or whether it will linger for 6 months, 1 year or 2 years. But he’s removed the cells and hopefully the area causing issues.

Hi OP, I'm 26 too and had the exact experience as you- had my colposcopy a month ago and still waiting for the results. I did however have the vaccine (was in the very first group to receive it) and I've still experienced the same changes as you. So either I've lost immunity from the vaccine or I've been infected with a different strain not covered by the vaccine. I too was told the immune system would clear it over time!

I'm a biologist (although this is not my field, I am able to scrutinise the research) and the studies I've come across has found that 90% of HPV infections are cleared by the immune system after 2 years (meaning they could no longer detect viral DNA on a swab) and women were slightly better at clearing it than men. Hope that helps!

From what you’ve said, it sounds then as though the strain of HPV, which caused your abnormal cells is one, which is possible to eradicate. If they’ve suggested that you get the vaccination, then great. But do be aware that it doesn’t protect you against all strains. So monitoring and regular smears are still essential. You also cannot 100% guarantee you’ve not contracted others dormant in your body. You also may only have contracted this one. But here’s some info NHS www.nhs.uk/conditions/vaccinations/hpv-human-papillomavirus-vaccine/. Free until age 25. The American CDC explains that it is not considered effective from age 26. Obviously there is a margin of error either way from this cut off date. www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/stdfact-hpv-vaccine-young-women.htm

@mspeachh sorry to hear you’re going through it all at the moment - hopefully everything works out well, the hospital were fantastic throughout for me and were really reassuring about how common it is I’m not sure if it’s the same throughout the NHS, but my results from the colposcopy (CIN 2) meant I had to have treatment within a month. They didn’t keep me in the lurch for long so fingers crossed it’s the same for you if you do need any treatment

Thank you x

Thanks @Mummyoflittledragon, they didn’t actually tell me which strain I have, just that I’m HPV positive. But I’m going to look into having it done privately and I’ll explain my situation and ask for advise once I’ve found somewhere suitable. Maybe I’ll ask the hospital if they can tell me which strain I’m positive for - thanks for the links

It would be really hypocritical for you to go out and look for an HPV clear partner now that you’ve got it.

@Reginabambina What a strange comment, I can’t remember saying I’d do that!

There would also obviously be no point seeking aHPV clear partner if the virus is still in my body

At my last immunisation update we were told that recent research suggests there may be some benefit to having the HPV vaccine, even if you are already sexually active. It's very new thinking.

Can I suggest you look up JosTrust.org.uk - or just Google Jo's Trust.

It's got some really informative information about HPV and cervical screening.

Informative information??? You know what I mean, despite my grammar. Just go look at it, lol!

I’ve had the vaccine at 29- post multiple sexual partners. And was clearly assured it is still valuable. It’s not cheap to have done privately - £490 and they do recommend you avoid sex between doses to avoid further exposure than you’ve already had. I’m supposed to have my third dose next month.

What you were told by your doctor is exactly what a friend of mine was told. When she went back for the test she tested negative for HPV.
I would try and get a telephone GP appointment to ask. I don’t think some of the posters on this thread are correct in what they are confidently stating so probably best to follow what the professionals tell you.
(Probably if you should abstain from sex they would have told you very clearly. I had to abstain while pregnant and they told me several times and gave it to me in writing. When it’s important Drs generally have to make sure you know.)

@Bubbles207 but there’s no way of knowing that you haven’t got it. If you test negative it just means that it’s not detectable in the sample you’ve given, similar to those who manage their HIV with antivirals. It does t mean that it’s completely gone or that there in 0 risk to your sexual partners. Unless you plan on never having sex again of course.

I’ve had the vaccine at 29- post multiple sexual partners. And was clearly assured it is still valuable. It’s not cheap to have done privately - £490 and they do recommend you avoid sex between doses to avoid further exposure than you’ve already had. I’m supposed to have my third dose next month.

You were sold a dummy I suspect although there are different strains.

I have had extensive conversations about this with both GP, Oncologist and ENT specialist. My DH has an HPV cancer and this was about vaccinating our teenage and young adult children. It was escalated as a request through the GP to the body that authorises treatment and the response was that it was ineffectual and so wouldn't be funded for those who had already had sexual activity.

They do vaccinate older homosexual adult men as their partners have not been routinely vaccinated as teens.

@sunflowerseedsforever - my research was as extensive but came to a different conclusion. You can’t just sell “dummy” medication I’m glad you’re happy with your decision. I also am- It came down to i’d never have forgiven myself if I got cervical cancer for the sake of £475 that I do have. I may have already contracted some strains that it protects against- but who knows, even if I haven’t had 1 of them and I’m now protected, that’s worth it to me.

As some pp have said I also paid to have the vaccine privately .. I was told it may be useful against other strains as there’s so many and that new research suggests it could help to clear up the existing strain but it’s not garunteed and is better when given before sexually active

You can’t just sell “dummy” medication

Anyone who pays a private provider can have an HPV vaccination. No requirements other than the cash

that new research suggests it could help to clear up the existing strain

Please could you link to that research.

I too am in the process of getting the vaccine - the Gardasil 9 as opposed the the Gardasil 4 that is given in school. I did a lot of research to learn about HPV and spoke to both my GP and also a lovely lady at Eve's Cancer Trust who gave me a lot of reliable info eveappeal.org.uk/supporting-you/ask-eve/ along with reading Jo's Cancer Trust website www.jostrust.org.uk/information/hpv

Even though, like you OP, do not currently have cervical cancer, I decided to pay through a pharmacy (slightly cheaper than CBear as I found a discount code). I had the 1st jab a month before lockdown. For the moment they've been suspended but I have a year to complete the course.

A few facts I discovered:

An HPV positive result does not mean cancer
Abnormal cells found do not mean cancer
There is a school of thought that even those with CIN 2 abnormal cells found will likely clear them without treatment.
It can take many years for any abnormal cells, if they don't clear naturally, to turn into cancer.
If someone smokes, they have a high risk of cervical cancer or being unable to clear abnormal cells.
There are >100 different strains of HPV, 40 of which affect the genitals, 13/14 of which are known to be high risk (the latter being what smears test for)
Gardasil 9 gives stronger protection than natural immunity. It is thought to help clear existing infections and prevent relapse. Helpful for those who are immunocompromised. Might give protection against strains not included in the vaccine (as genetically linked)

I did query my GP if there might be more stigma attached to those of us who test HPV positive seeing as this is what smears now test for first, and she did say she'd seen a lot of HPV positive results. I think learning the facts really helps, especially from reliable sources, and knowing that HPV is something most of us have.