To be sad that nobody has bothered about DD's first birthday

[Roostersmum2]

DD turned 1 today, nobody has bothered to wish her a happy birthday.

I know she's a baby but it's the thought that counts imo. We both could have died at birth and were very poorly. Her reaching her first birthday is something to be celebrated surely.

People are aware. I wrote a post on Facebook incase anybody wanted to send a card. Family know.

The only person who ever consistently bothered with my DC was my dad and he died last year.

My DM told me she would post her a card through the letterbox, leave a teddy in the porch and wish her a happy birthday through the window at 9am but has not turned up and turned her phone off (something she does every time she wants to cancel plans but hasn't got the decency to call and tell me)

My DBro and SIL who I thought would send a message haven't bothered.

Not one family member on DH's side has got in touch.

I don't expect presents at all but a card would have been lovely, or even a little text or Facebook message.

AIBU to be saddened that nobody gives a shit?

Great news

This would upset me, too.

Your mother sounds a waste of space. Concentrate on your beautiful baby instead.

(And turn your phone off so when your mum decides SHE wants to talk, you can make her wait.)

Goops! Sorry-didn't see your update.

She has indeed redeemed herself.

Have a lovely day!

Happy Birthday sweetie, so glad you have made it all the way to be a big 1, and for your Mummy

I'm pleased to hear your Mum (Grandma) visited with a card and sang
You can only turn 1 once! Enjoy the rest of your day OP

If it's any consolation my ex MIL ruined my ds's 1st birthday.
We had a small family party of which she turned up one hour late and we'd been waiting to open our ds's presents with him so waited for her to arrive so she could enjoy it too. After she arrived I went to make her a drink... and while I was in the kitchen she proceeded to take over getting my ex to pass presents to her to open with my ds!
My ex did say to wait for me (as I like to watch peoples faces when they open gifts) and she basically blurted... 'Oh never mind mummy!' in front of all the guests including my parents. I was fuming and to this day I've never forgotten her behaviour and my ds is 13 now. Some people will do anything to rain on your parade so best to protect yourself and have your umbrella up

Happy birthday to your little girl it’s my sons 12th birthday today also

I would feel the same as you rather gutted

Chin up and enjoy ur wee family party , we are having a party just the four of us

Happy 1st Birthday to your daughter 🎁 🎂 🎈🎉🎀🧸

This is really shit, I'm sorry. First birthdays are important, no matter what anyone says about the child not noticing, for me as a mother I always appreciated it being acknowledged. It's a big milestone for you as a parent, if nothing else.

Happy birthday to your DD, and bloody well done to you for getting through the year intact.
Can I suggest some retail therapy in lieu of whatever little party or gathering you had planned pre lockdown? A Glossybox subscription box is a nice treat to yourself, and there are some lovely subscription boxes aimed at slightly older toddlers that are still nice for you to do with a younger child, though you need to take the lead a bit- Mud and Bloom for instance. Or do what I do when I'm skint and need a treat - £5 on something on ebay and £5 on 99p kindle books

So glad your DM showed up! A very happy 1st birthday to your lovely little girl in her pretty dress!

Thank you all for the lovely birthday wishes, she's having a great day

Here is her cake (she's had a slice and devoured it in minutes!)

Happy birthday to your DD 🎉

I am sorry but this is ridiculous. Your one year old baby is the light of your lif and will never be as important to any one else. She hasnt the faintest idea its her birtday so celebrating is a bit precious but if you want to do it, then do it but dont expect many others to even register it. Telling people on Facebook is really tacky. I am a grandmother many times over and I expect to remember all the birthdays, as for anyone else there should be NO pressure. You may have a grievance with your own mother but thats another story

Happy birthday to your dd. My kids all had a fuss for first birthdays. That is sad for you and hurtful.

I wish I could send her a card

Perhaps you have been too harsh on your mother?

Glad your mum came through.... just stay cautious

Nomorepolitics sod off. OP is not ridiculous at all! And Facebook is full of birthday updates so I guess everyone on there is tacky but you right?!

OP, so glad the day got better! Happy birthday to your little one and what a beautiful cake!

Happy Birthday to your little girl. Her cake looks gorgeous and I'm sure she's having a fab day.

First birthdays are definitely important, ignore some of the miserable sods on here. It doesn't take much effort to pop a card in the post or send a quick text. Glad your Mum came through in the end too.

Happy birthday to your little girl 🎈🎂 hope she has a brilliant day!

I don't think I've been harsh on my DM for assuming she's not going to bother, after all she promised to come at 9am and didn't come until gone 2pm.

She regularly let's me down so I didn't expect today to be any different but I'm really glad she did turn up for DD and am grateful for that.

To reiterate, I didn't write about her birthday on Facebook because I wanted presents or anything like that. I just wanted family to acknowlege her on her special day, because it is the kind thing to do. A call or text to say happy birthday and ask how she is was all I ever expected. A card would have been a bonus.

Yes it's me who feels the feelings and she's oblivious but I'm sure most people want their children to matter to family.

IME first birthdays are more for the parents than the child. Especially in your circumstances where you are reflecting on how differently things could have turned out a year ago.

That said, this is a unique situation and it doesn't take a lot for people to send a text, email or however you normally maintain contact to say happy birthday and thinking of you today.

Hopefully now it is late afternoon, you will have had a few messages from friends and family.

Happy Birth Day to you and best wishes for your daughter. Enjoy your day and enjoy not having her passed round like a parcel, getting all fractious and grouchy, not enjoying herself.

I don't understand this rubbish that is spouted every single time on thread like this, that your baby's birthday (interchange wedding, engagement, pregnancy, new job, new man ) will never be as important to anyone else as you and that is the excuse/reason for someone not bothering. Utter bollocks. If that was the case then no one would ever receive any good wishes, cards or digits on a special day. We all know that no one loves our child like we do but to say to a new mum, who is grieving that no one cares pretty much is vile.

Happy birthday BabyRooster. 🎉🎈🎂🎊

I don't think it's particularly precious to want your own parents to acknowledge your own child's birthday! The first birthday can also be a bit of a mental 'at this time a year ago I thought I was going to die' journey as well, for the mother (well it was for me anyway), so not to be discounted so readily. I'm very glad your DM came through OP, maybe even she realised blanking a first birthday was a bit far

What a lovely cake! and I'm so glad she enjoyed her slice!

Beautiful cake! And glad your mum came good after all, that's a relief. Shame about the rest of the family though!

It's a lovely cake - I feel very guilty for being unkind about your DM.