To be sad that nobody has bothered about DD's first birthday

[Roostersmum2]

DD turned 1 today, nobody has bothered to wish her a happy birthday.

I know she's a baby but it's the thought that counts imo. We both could have died at birth and were very poorly. Her reaching her first birthday is something to be celebrated surely.

People are aware. I wrote a post on Facebook incase anybody wanted to send a card. Family know.

The only person who ever consistently bothered with my DC was my dad and he died last year.

My DM told me she would post her a card through the letterbox, leave a teddy in the porch and wish her a happy birthday through the window at 9am but has not turned up and turned her phone off (something she does every time she wants to cancel plans but hasn't got the decency to call and tell me)

My DBro and SIL who I thought would send a message haven't bothered.

Not one family member on DH's side has got in touch.

I don't expect presents at all but a card would have been lovely, or even a little text or Facebook message.

AIBU to be saddened that nobody gives a shit?

OP it wasn't even midday when you posted this. Yes be angry at your mum, but you don't even know yet if others are sending anything or going to ring you to wish her happy birthday.

Lots of people are still working or busy home schooling. Give them time this evening before complaining.

Hope your DD has a lovely birthday, she has those important to her around her and that's all she'll care about (and covering herself in cake obviously 😂!). Family are missing out - their loss!

Take a photo of your DD in her lovely dress enjoying her cake and put on fb, add to the photo thanking the kind friends who took the time to wish her a happy birthday and how much you appreciate their thoughftulness and taking the time to do so - it's meant a lot to you even if she is oblivious! It's an important milestone both for you after the birth and for her for her own family album.

I don't think you're being daft at all. Your mum said she'd be round this morning and she has disappointed you again on a day that is important to you
Crack on with the day and celebrate
I wish your daughter a wonderful 1 st birthday

Happy Birthday to your little girl 🎂

Unfortunately, people show their true colours when you have children.

Happy birthday to your little one!

It’s amazing how having our own children reevaluates relationships. Who sent whom a gift or card over the years was the trigger fit a major row in my extended family (though much more underneath it). Didn’t stop my mum forgetting my daughter’s first birthday last year :(

Happy birthday to your daughter @Roostersmum2 and congratulations on being a Mum for a year . I’m glad you’re both well 💕💕

It doesn’t cost anything to send a quick text wishing her a happy birthday in the very least and online card companies are still running so anyone with access to the internet could have at least sent a card out. Very sad for you, I’d be angry too.

Happy birthday to your little one!

Happy Birthday to your 🎂
I’m so sorry that you have been let down - it seems your Mum might have some issues of her own and I hope she is able to come to grips with them soon.
Meanwhile you and your lovely baby are important, so congratulations to you both for having each other and to you for keeping you and yours safe and well. 💐

What do you usually do for your mums birthday?

Because, well, oops, you forgot and your phone was out of battery for the day too. Deary me! Never mind.

Happy birthday DD

Of course it’s normal to be upset, remember it’s only lunchtime, hopefully you’ll get some messages later today

I think this kind of thing varies in families. Neither me nor DH's family make a big deal of birthdays and probably didn't bother to send a message on either of our DC's first birthdays (but would have brought a pressie either when they saw us next or around the right time).

That said in this situation yes you'd hink they'd bother since they won't be seeing you in the next week. Your mum is particularly harsh by not seeing through her promise and turning off her phone. Really not nice behaviour.

It’s really shit of them. A call or text would be fine as well. The thing with having a child, is that it triggers loads of realisations that you’ve previously had. But then those realisations come back again when you have a child. Can’t rely on your mum? Think you’ve dealt with it? Boom! A child brings all that pain back again when you realise that nothing changes. It can really bring relationships into focus again when you have a child. Happy birthday to her, your cake sounds amazing

Happy first birthday to your daughter :)

Your mum's behaviour sounds selfish and I'm not surprised you feel upset. I can't imagine my own mother acting like this and I would never act like this myself. It seems very unnatural :(

think we often forget that whilst our children may be the world to us, they aren’t that much of interest to others

Not sure what kind of weird family dynamic you were brought up if you think Grandparents aren't interested in their own grandchildren!

Happy Birthday to your DD 🎁🎂🎈😀

Oh bless your heart ...it’s definitely a shame that no one has even sent good wishes on FB .I think that maybe people are so lethargic and demotivated ATM that people are being thoughtless. Happy Birthday 🥳 to your dear daughter.💐

Absolutely not unreasonable to want your baby to have a family that celebrate her.

Happy birthday to her and hope you have a lovely day x

Odd lot them arent they?

Shame 'tho seeing what has happened to you in the past!

My DD2's childrens b'days are duly clebrated as state occasions!

But my bloody sister does she care does she feck:!

Still happy birthday little one, may the good lord bless you:)

and your mum as she deseves it too:)

Happy Birthday to your DD!

Also a bit bemused by so many people thinking it's normal for family to forget. It's really not. I had apologies from several family members for not managing to get Easter eggs over for my 3yr old. Easter eggs in a pandemic! Obviously I told them not to worry in the slightest because that really doesn't matter. Acknowledging a 1 year olds birthday is a different matter. I'm sorry your family haven't bothered.

Utterly crap of your family OP- in the real world not mn, families give a damn!

Happy birthday to your little one.

Try not to feel disappointed, tbh my DS is 6 and I didn't expect anyone to celebrate his birthday bar immediate family, ie. Me.
People genuinely don't always care, especially a 1st birthday when the child doesn't even really realise what's going on thierselves.
My DS had a recent birthday under lockdown and we had a lovely day, just us two celebrating together- do what you can for your little one and remember that your mummy and you can make things just as special. Ive learned to never expect anything from anyone, its really helped minimise any disappointment regarding other people's actions.

Hope you have a lovely day!xx

It's been very difficult to buy stamps, the post office here is hardly open and lines outside of the door which are breeding grounds. YABU i think, you have your health and that's all that matters.

In a normal family, grandparents would acknowledge their grandchildren's birthdays, on the day, if not just before.

There are some weird family dynamics out there going by some of the posts on this thread.

If you can't send a card then a call, text, Facebook message, WhatsApp would be the norm. Though I'm sure there'll be posters along soon dreaming up excuses as to why yours and your DH's family haven't even done that.

Happy Birthday to your daughter. It sounds like you have some lovely friends too!

As for your family it's true you can't choose them... and I'd never send any of those fuckers any birthday acknowledgement ever again.

I'm sorry that this has happened, it does look bad on your family. I agree, a first birthday is definitely worth celebrating and I hope you & your family will have a lovely day, despite the lack of interest from your mum & others.
This does of course mean that you get to eat all the cake and don't have to save any for anyone else :)