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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids entertaining themselves whilst I sleep

189 replies

Kerlassic · 26/04/2020 15:35

This is fine isn’t it?

Kids 4 and 8, get on well. On a Sunday DH has his lie in. Children get up at 7, come in for a cuddle then head downstairs, I go into guest bedroom and leave the door open so I can hear them and leave DH in bed with the door closed. I leave out a brioche and banana each the night before and cups. Eldest pours milk for them both and they eat brek and play/watch TV until I come down about 9. I only doze and am listening out for them. They know they can get me if they need to.

Can anyone see a problem with this?

OP posts:
okiedokieme · 26/04/2020 15:36

No, I certainly let them downstairs alone by 8 but they are close in age

fedupwiththisshitnow · 26/04/2020 15:37

The 8 yo fine but not really for the 4yo, sorry.

CaryStoppins · 26/04/2020 15:39

Absolutely fine, surely everyone does this by 4?

Delbelleber · 26/04/2020 15:40

I wouldn't have a problem with it at all

SqidgeBum · 26/04/2020 15:41

My parents used to do this. We weren't allowed into their rooms before 9 on a saturday morning up til the age of 9 or so, so we had to entertain ourselves in our rooms. When we were about 9 and 7 we were allowed downstairs to watch tv, although we didnt have breakfast til my parents came down.

Nixen · 26/04/2020 15:42

Why do you go into another room to doze? Are you hiding that you’re doing this from your DH or is it just so the bedroom door can be closed? It’s a bit lazy to be honest, I wouldn’t be impressed if my DH did this and I think 4 is way too young

wellhellohi · 26/04/2020 15:42

Children mature at different ages. I have a ds (4) severely learning disabled my dd (6) has had to grow up very fast. At times sleep becomes a huge issue and my dd has to entertain herself while we catch up. Yes it isn't ideal but needs must is a great master.

You know your children best. Their abilities and also what's too much for them.

Sally872 · 26/04/2020 15:42

Absolutely fine. My 4 year old would be fine himself with me sleeping nearby, even more so with an older child for company.

We do this with my 4 and 9 year old. Possibly for some children it would not work if they fight or likely to look for opportunities to do things they shouldn't. But for many it is fine.

PullTheBricksDown · 26/04/2020 15:43

I don't think it's the worst thing in the world, but do you not get your lie in on a different day? What happens on Saturdays?

Sunshineandflipflops · 26/04/2020 15:44

Mine were a fair bit older before they went downstairs on their own for that amount of time. I would have a lie in one day on the weekend and (ex)h on the other day.
I wouldn’t be able to sleep/relax anyway knowing they were downstairs on their own so might as well get up with them. To be honest though, 7 am would have been a lie in for me at that kind of age...mine were more like 5/6 am!

CremeEggThief · 26/04/2020 15:45

Absolutely. I did this with my DS from 3, maybe even 2 and a half, although I stayed down with him while he had his breakfast.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 26/04/2020 15:45

On Saturday mornings I laze in the spare bed with a brew 7.30-8.30ish. It's off the living room and the dc watch utter crap on telly so I don't feel relaxed in there with that on the telly.

I don't stay in bed with dh because it's not restful for him for me to be sat with a cuppa playing on my phone while he tries to sleep.

I couldn't care less if he does the same on his early start day. Kids are 5 and 8.

Crabbo · 26/04/2020 15:45

Absolutely fine.

Hedgehog26 · 26/04/2020 15:46

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. The 8 year old would surely be able to tell you if there was any problems. I assume you’d do it during the day to put washing away etc so just the same as that really

Elouera · 26/04/2020 15:46

What day do you get to lie in???

Oldbutstillgotit · 26/04/2020 15:46

I think it’s a bit unfair to expect an 8 year old to supervise a 4 year old . Do you have a lie- in on another day ?
Why are you asking ?

NellMangel · 26/04/2020 15:48

I think it's fine. You know your kids and their behaviour.

CaryStoppins · 26/04/2020 15:48

I doubt the 8 year old does any supervision- they probably just watch tv.

YappityYapYap · 26/04/2020 15:50

I think it's a bit of lazy parenting. An 8 year old should be an 8 year old, not a baby sitter to their younger sibling. I say this as someone who often had to prepare breakfast for my younger sisters because my mum worked early mornings at the weekend and my dad couldn't be bothered to get up. I was jealous of families that had breakfast together

ParadiseLaundry · 26/04/2020 15:55

I think this is fine. I think some Mumsnetters are quite extreme in their views on children being left alone. I remember reading a comment in here that a 2.5 year old should never be left alone in a room for even a minute. Not even to go and have a wee for a few seconds. Confused

Original poster
Kerlassic · 26/04/2020 15:55

It IS a bit lazy but 6 days of the week we are up.... is it bad to be a bit lazy one day of the week?

I only go into a different room so DH can have the door closed.

On a Saturday it’s my lie in. DH gets up with them as he prefers to. I also wouldn’t be happy with it both weekend days so I’m glad he does.

OP posts:
Oldbutstillgotit · 26/04/2020 15:57

In general I think many MN are much less lax than I used to be when my DC were young ( 1980s) but I do feel uncomfortable that people think it is ok for such young DC to be left to their own devices for a couple of hours and agree with PP that you are expecting an 8 year old to be responsible for a 4 year old.

Simonfromharlow · 26/04/2020 15:58

Fine! My kids are the same age and I do similar!

Oldbutstillgotit · 26/04/2020 15:58

If you have a lie in on a Sat while your DH gets up why don’t you get up on a Sunday ?

Whybirdwhy · 26/04/2020 15:58

I think this is fine! It kind depends on the rest of the picture tho doesn’t it? If the kids get up at 5am, watch 4 hours tv and fight with each other, then at 9am you roll out of bed open the vodka and carry on watching tv for the next 8 hours whilst barking at the kids to get away from you and leave you in peace, it’s probably a bit neglectful. If they get up at 7am, have breakfast and watch tv for an hour and a half, then you get up and look after them for the rest of the day I don’t really see how it’s an issue or why you would even need to ask. The working week can be hard work, you need rest too.