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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids entertaining themselves whilst I sleep

189 replies

Kerlassic · 26/04/2020 15:35

This is fine isn’t it?

Kids 4 and 8, get on well. On a Sunday DH has his lie in. Children get up at 7, come in for a cuddle then head downstairs, I go into guest bedroom and leave the door open so I can hear them and leave DH in bed with the door closed. I leave out a brioche and banana each the night before and cups. Eldest pours milk for them both and they eat brek and play/watch TV until I come down about 9. I only doze and am listening out for them. They know they can get me if they need to.

Can anyone see a problem with this?

OP posts:
Theladyinpurple · 27/04/2020 17:06

Imo ok to leave them for an hour while you doze. Not ok to leave a 4 year old with food. I'm not neurotic just applying common sense. Choking is a risk and usally silent.

Biancadelrioisback · 27/04/2020 17:23

My DS is 3 and plays in his room by himself for an hour most mornings before coming through into our room to take my place in the bed when I hop in the shower. I don't like him being downstairs or upstairs on his own. Sometimes, if we're really tired, DH and I will doze on the sofa while DS plays on the floor, but we never let him eat alone. He has choked quite recently on banana and custard and it was terrifying.

SunShine682 · 27/04/2020 17:32

Iv never done this.

When my kids get up then I stay awake.

LaurieMarlow · 27/04/2020 17:33

I'm not neurotic just applying common sense. Choking is a risk and usally silent.

Depends on the food. A bowl of rice crispies is hardly a choking risk for a four year old.

Sweetbabycheezits · 27/04/2020 17:36

My DS could work the TV remote at aged 4 because he used to get up at stupid o'clock. So, he'd go downstairs, watch TV for a bit, and come up to get us when he got bored lol. He was fine...he has always liked having an hour or so by himself in the morning. He's 13 now and exactly the same!

Umnoway · 27/04/2020 17:38

Totally fine, I’ve done this for years and they’ve survived.

soberfabulous · 27/04/2020 17:41

I do this one morning every weekend with my 6.5 year old. She wakes at the crack of dawn. We get up, I get her breakfast and the iPad. She gets into bed next to me and watches it for an hour or so next to me.

I put in earplugs and wear a sleep mask. To her it's the biggest treat ever and it means I get to catch up on some much needed sleep.

I work like a dog and I'm exhausted. I do feel guilty about this sometimes but I'm human and need some extra sleep, for just one morning a week!

ChandlerIsTheBestFriend · 27/04/2020 17:44

I think it depends on the individual child. My eldest would have been fine at 4 watching TV and eating his breakfast. My youngest would have been off selling the TV to the post man having decorated the kitchen with flour and eggs and washed the toilet with peanut butter all in the time it took me to put my dressing gown on. Grin

chunkyrun · 27/04/2020 17:49

Sounds lovely

Mittens030869 · 27/04/2020 18:10

We can do this with our DDs now that they're 11 and 8, but we couldn't have done it when they were the ages of your DC, because DD1 has always had violent meltdowns (they're adopted, so it's because she has attachment issues as well as other SEN). Now she doesn't get wound up, or at least it's mainly just normal sibling bickering now.

My feeling here is, though that you may he expecting too much from you'd 8 year old, in terms of minding their younger sibling whilst you have extra shut eye. At 4, the younger child should have more adult supervision. But I'm speaking from the POV of having been given too much responsibility for my younger DSis when I wasn't ready for it (she was 2 years younger than me). And from having adopted DC, who needed extra supervision at those ages.

But I may be projecting. Some DC are more mature than others.

Mittens030869 · 27/04/2020 18:14

My concern is the 4 year old. I'm sure the 8 year old would be fine in those circumstances, but may not be old enough to see if their younger sibling was in trouble.

Sally872 · 27/04/2020 18:43

Seriously 4 year olds are not babies, or toddlers. Some are even school children.

Many can be left to eat alone. And the 8 year old is not supervising just doing the same thing. I would leave the 4 year old if happy even without sibling.

I realise some children cant be left. But I think many can.

Can any of those worrying about choking tell me at what age it is ok to let them eat alone? There is the same chance of me or my 9 year old choking as my 4 year old.

I worry about choking my children were made to lick a lollipop 5-10 times then bin it (on the rare occasion someone else gave them one) I slice grapes. My eldest is taught never to put a whole grape in her mouth. I am cautious.

But supervising a 4 year old every time he eats is unnecessary.

Dipi79 · 27/04/2020 21:51

I don't lie in. When my twins get up, I get up.

ChaBishkoot · 28/04/2020 00:46

Good for those who don’t lie in. But it doesn’t mean having a lie in is wrong! Or that a 4 year old needs to be supervised for every mouthful they eat.

Strokethefurrywall · 28/04/2020 01:17

Jesus this thread. Another one saying it's fine OP, crack on. Heaven forfend you have 2 lie ins, the nerve of you!!

Ours do this, have done for years. At one point 4 year old DS1 would make weetibix for 2 year old Ds2 whilst we snoozed.

I'm an early riser these days though so the only day I demand everyone leave me alone is Sunday when I might manage to catch up on sleep until 8-9am.

Kids entertain themselves, make waffles/toast etc.

What the fuck is the problem with being lazy? You know assuming the OP is a full time working parent or a SAHM! I'm assuming she doesn't laze around the house on a daily basis wearing pajamas and drinking Tennants... Jesus.

0v9c99f9g9d939d9f9g9h8h · 28/04/2020 01:31

My child makes pancakes on a Saturday morning. She's eight. It didn't occur to me I should be supervising this. They're very good pancakes. Her four year old brother 'helps'. They've been well trained.

GoofyLuce · 29/04/2020 16:23

The people being sarcastic about 'watching every mouthful that a 4 year old eats' are being irresponsible!

The people (including myself) that have mentioned choking do not mean that you need to sit a stare at your 4 year old the whole time they're eating but you do need to be awake, switched on ready to act should you need to. You should not be lazing in bed!

LaurieMarlow · 29/04/2020 16:25

you do need to be awake, switched on ready to act should you need to.

There is zero risk of a four year old choking on rice crispies.

opticaldelusion · 29/04/2020 16:31

I should imagine the eight year old is perfectly capable of telling mummy that the four year old has gone blue..

And that's not forcing a child to be responsible for its younger sibling. That's just expecting it to have the sense it was born with.

GoofyLuce · 29/04/2020 16:32

**There is zero risk of a four year old choking on rice crispies

She's leaves them brioche and banana not rice crispies

LaurieMarlow · 29/04/2020 16:35

She's leaves them brioche and banana not rice crispies

Well I’d love to see the stats for the number of four year olds choking on those foods per year too.

GoofyLuce · 29/04/2020 16:40

**Well I’d love to see the stats for the number of four year olds choking on those foods per year too.

What a pathetic thing to say😂

AppleKatie · 29/04/2020 16:42

She's leaves them brioche and banana not rice crispies

The absolute cah...

The tone of the that statement is hilarious. I think some posters need a new hobby.

billy1966 · 29/04/2020 16:44

No wonder parents have have such a hard life on top of aften working full time.

Absolutely not a problem OP.

You know your children.

I certainly did that.

Would I do it with a child that was bratty, ill behaved, ill disciplined, and into everything, to such an extent that I couldn't leave them downstairs for 5 minutes on their own.

No I would do it with a child like that.

But none of my children were like that.

I could shower and leave a 4 year old happily playing.

I could be sorting out a room upstairs and leave a 4 year old playing by themselves.

In the real world, this is a possibility.

Mine used to love going downstairs to watch cartoons and snack on the special weekend breakfast things I'd get for them.

LaurieMarlow · 29/04/2020 16:49

What a pathetic thing to say

So looking for evidence to base risk on is pathetic now? Confused