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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Kids entertaining themselves whilst I sleep

189 replies

Kerlassic · 26/04/2020 15:35

This is fine isn’t it?

Kids 4 and 8, get on well. On a Sunday DH has his lie in. Children get up at 7, come in for a cuddle then head downstairs, I go into guest bedroom and leave the door open so I can hear them and leave DH in bed with the door closed. I leave out a brioche and banana each the night before and cups. Eldest pours milk for them both and they eat brek and play/watch TV until I come down about 9. I only doze and am listening out for them. They know they can get me if they need to.

Can anyone see a problem with this?

OP posts:
FallonSwift · 26/04/2020 16:00

I remember doing this with my sister. I would have been about 6 nearly 7 and she would have been 4. I think it depends on the kids.

moobar · 26/04/2020 16:00

I think it's fine but, your last post is strange. Like @Oldbutstillgotit says, on his lie in, you do this and get an extra lie in. On your lie in he gets up because you wouldn't be happy!! That's odd.

moveandmove · 26/04/2020 16:03

You get a lay in on Saturday so surely it's your turn to get up with them on Sunday Confused

TimeWastingButFun · 26/04/2020 16:03

I bet the kids love the independence - and you're more likely to be happier and more patient with them if you're well rested. You know your youngest well enough to know what you can and can't trust them with.

Original poster
Kerlassic · 26/04/2020 16:03

I’m not good in the mornings. We try and play to our strengths in our relationship, and it has always been understood that I do the nights and he picks up a bit more slack in the mornings. So I did all night feeds and disturbances for both, which is mainly over now of course but still occasional. He would rather get up with them, he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep anyway. Also we tend to stay up later on Saturday night, have wine etc which we don’t do on Friday.

OP posts:
frogsbreath · 26/04/2020 16:04

My parents did this with us when we were perhaps 7, 5, 4 and 2 (I was the oldest and can guarantee I did not watch any of the others). We trashed that bloody house and ate anything we liked. Great days.

I've only just started letting my 8 year old do this on one weekend day but I usually come down no more than an hour after him to find him just watching tv. I might then have a doze on the couch for another half an hour while he eats his brekkie and plays around.

Original poster
Kerlassic · 26/04/2020 16:04

If he wanted to do the same on Saturday we would probably come to an agreement that we alternate, but he doesn’t

OP posts:
GreyishDays · 26/04/2020 16:05

Basically they get up a bit before you and your door is open. That’s fine.

GoofyLuce · 26/04/2020 16:05

I don't think this is fine. If you have your lie in on a Saturday and your DH has his on a Sunday then why do you feel the need to also have a lie in on a Sunday? You've already said that you wouldn't be happy if your DH did this on your lie in day.

Just get up...go downstairs and supervise your children. What's wrong with letting them watch tv while you have a cuppa and chill? What if your 4 yr old choked and your 8 year old was playing and didn't notice?

I wouldn't be able to relax!

Original poster
Kerlassic · 26/04/2020 16:05

He also naps Saturday afternoon unless we have plans (not at the moment!). I don’t nap.

OP posts:
Caterina99 · 26/04/2020 16:07

I think it’s fine. You’re there, it’s not that long, your eldest is 8!

I can’t wait for the day I can do that. My eldest is 4 and he’s allowed to come into my room, and take the iPad and watch it in the living room if we’re not up when his gro clock comes on. My house is all one level though and it’s not usually very long before the toddler is up. Very occasionally she sleeps late or entertains herself in her crib and DS usually comes back and asks for breakfast if it’s past about 7.30.

vanillandhoney · 26/04/2020 16:08

Hang on - so it's okay for you to laze in bed when DH lies in but you wouldn't be happy for him to do the same on your days?

That's a bit unfair. If he's getting up and looking after the DC then you should do the same.

Hanfulofdust · 26/04/2020 16:11

In the house totally alone? No. In the house with an adult who can be immediately alerted if something is wrong (someone's choking etc). Yes as long as they're sensible and unlikely to start doing something dangerous.

SparkyBlue · 26/04/2020 16:12

That's absolutely fine. It's what I remember myself and my sister doing as children . I've great memories of us snuggled up together on the couch watching Saturday morning kids tv. My four and seven year old are great at entertaining themselves in the morning. My four year old would often get up before us all and be playing away with his LEGO or whatever before the rest of us are awake. I'd have no issues with them watching tv downstairs by themselves for a bit. I have a one year old so unfortunately I'm not getting much of a lie in these days.

Ragwort · 26/04/2020 16:13

I don’t see anything wrong with a four year old playing on his/her own Confused, many four year olds are at school and don’t need to be ‘watched over’ 24/7.
When my DS was four I wasn’t always in the same room as he was all the time. Hmm. And if there’s a problem the 8 year old can call you.
Personally I’ve never been one for “lie ins” but I never entertained my DS all the time, he had to learn to amuse himself and play on his own (only child).

AppleKatie · 26/04/2020 16:16

OP if you said is it ok for my kids to eat breakfast and watch tv whilst I am upstairs changing the sheets and cleaning the bathroom (id hear them if they called)...

You would get wildly different answers so...

TwoZeroTwoZero · 26/04/2020 16:16

We do similar and have done for a few years. My dc are 7 & 9 and although the eldest has adhd they're sensible enough to get their own breakfasts, wash their own pots and then put the tv on. They know we're only upstairs and that they can disturb us if they need to. I don't see it as being lazy either because they have to learn some independence at some point, don't they.

Costacoffeeplease · 26/04/2020 16:17

Pretty lazy really if you’ve already had a lie in on the Saturday

Moltenpink · 26/04/2020 16:17

My kids are the same age, they get up at 7, make pancake mix by themselves (destroying the kitchen in the process) then I get up, fry the pancakes for them and take a cup of tea back up to bed. Keeps me sane at the weekend!

UnderTheIroningBoard · 26/04/2020 16:18

I personally wouldn't do this (because I'd be worried about the mess, mostly), but I don't think it's on the same level as leaving them alone in the house. As long as they can be trusted to not touch the oven/kettle etc of course!

CaryStoppins · 26/04/2020 16:19

No shame in being "lazy" on a Sunday morning!

fedupwiththisshitnow · 26/04/2020 16:20

*OP if you said is it ok for my kids to eat breakfast and watch tv whilst I am upstairs changing the sheets and cleaning the bathroom (id hear them if they called)...

You would get wildly different answers so...*

Yes, because presumably there wouldn't be a risk of her falling into a deep sleep while she was doing that.

Branleuse · 26/04/2020 16:42

Bit lazy, but I cant muster up any strong feelings either way. Its not for long

CatFaceCats · 26/04/2020 16:52

Used to do this all the time when mine were younger. One was 4, one was 5. From 6:30 they could go downstairs and I’d leave out a few digestives and their water. I generally wasn’t asleep, just dozing in bed.
They would watch their iPads. Kids Netflix/iPlayer kids etc.
Much easier than listening to them trying to play “quietly” in their rooms!

CatFaceCats · 26/04/2020 16:53

Thing is - even if I’d have gotten up with them, we’d have done nothing else. The only difference would’ve been me sat on the sofa with a cup of tea.