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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Some people enjoy patronising and depressing others

999 replies

Esprohuy · 25/04/2020 13:11

Clearly everyone is having a different experience of the current situation. It seems to me from the posts here and elsewhere that MN is full of people searching for threads from people either asking genuinely when others think the restrictions may be reduced, or people expressing mental or emotional.distress due to being locked away, sometimes alone. The pattern is the OP posts, there are a couple of sympathetic/in the case of lockdown speculation dovish opinions then the Depressor swoops, usually with a formulation along the lines of:
If you think these restrictions will be lifted anytime soon you are a naïve fool. Christmas will be cancelled and things will never fully return to normal

In the threads expressing mental distress their standard formulation is a variety of:
FFS pull yourselves together. It's been (insert number) weeks, how the F do you think people coped in the war the. All you are being asked to do is stay in and watch Netflix

There seems to be a remarkably large number of people among this cohort who claim grandparental involvement in WW1/2 and have a partner/sibling serving as a front line NHS worker. These depressors seem to scour MN looking to pounce on people expressing povs like the above.

OP posts:
Willitneverend · 29/04/2020 15:13

The horse riding example is a bit like what we're had on our local allotments. People on the FB group being all "It's only some vegetables, you will DIE and KILL OTHER PEOPLE for VEGETABLES".

Thankfully common sense has prevailed and they're still open.

MarginalGain · 29/04/2020 15:26

I actually think that the coronavirus coverage might be the beginning of the end for the BBC. They've been far worse than usual, which I would have thought would be difficult to achieve.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/04/2020 15:43

None us need to worry Pfizer have said that they will have a working vaccine in general circulation by the end of the year..

They can't manufacture my contraceptive pill so I'm not hopeful they'll manage a vaccine for billions of people!

Springersrock · 29/04/2020 15:48

Allotments caused a few arguments round here too

We also have a bloke round who has always kayaked down the river to work and back everyday in the spring/summer

Massive hoo-har round here about him.

What if he fell out and needed rescuing? - the river is only about 3 foot deep at its deepest point

What if he banged his head when he fell out and was unconscious and needed rescuing?

What if he had a heart attack and needed rescuing?

He’s spreading his germs - what, in the middle of a fucking river in a single kayak?

IT’S NOT IN THE SPIRIT OF THE RULES!!!!!! - aka, he’s enjoying it and I don’t approve

He gives no fucks and has carried on with his daily kayak commute heart attack and banged head free

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 15:51

Good example of dementing from the BBC 'science correspondent' today comparing Covid to Ebola. Ebola has a roughly 50% mortality rate.

"13:57
Third of hospitalised Covid-19 patients in UK have died, study finds

James Gallagher
Health and science correspondent, BBC News
The biggest study of Covid-19 patients in the UK shows a third admitted to hospital have died

Just under half have been discharged, with the rest still being treated.

Prof Calum Semple, the chief investigator from the University of Liverpool, said the "crude hospital fatality rate is of the same magnitude as Ebola".

He said around 35-40% of hospitalised Ebola patients die

"People need to hear this... this is an incredibly dangerous disease."

Nearly 17,000 patients from 166 hospitals were part of the study. Obesity and age both increased the risk of death.

The study also confirmed that men are more likely to have severe disease, and the gap between outcomes for men and women gets wider with age."

I think this is a really bad example of reporting. Because it is so skewed, and not a good comparison. It compares people very ill already with the Ebola patients...

OutwardBound2016 · 29/04/2020 15:52

I’ve deleted the BBC news app as I can’t stand the drivel

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 15:53

Only the most ill patients are in hospital with Covid, it is a totally bizarre comparison.

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 15:55

There was a really good critical piece on the reporting by the BBC recently in the Times, saying what drivel it had become. Very emotive, when it used to e.g. analyse it more and look behind the scenes, be more critical

It said something about younger people having lower attention spans or something which was quite patronising though! I can't watch it anymore.

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 16:01

Here we go

"Pass the remote, there’s too much emotion on the news
David Goodhart
Sunday April 26 2020, 12.01am, The Sunday Times
www.thetimes.co.uk/article/pass-the-remote-theres-too-much-emotion-on-the-news-lqttjp5v6

"I watched the BBC News at Ten last week and by the end felt emotionally drained and no better informed about anything than at 9.59pm. On too many nights, the news bulletins at 6pm and 10pm run along these tramlines: here’s something about Covid-19; here’s someone who died; here’s a sobbing relative or frontline hero telling you to stay at home, save lives and protect the NHS.

Yes, it’s a bleak and emotional period, and the BBC has an impossible job trying to please everyone at a time like this, but I feel an aching lack of authority, explanation and context, and a general infantilisation of the public discourse. Too much communication has become performative rather than informative."

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 16:02

a bit more (am not allowed to post the whole thing)

"I have only been dipping in and out of the television news, so my analysis is not comprehensive, but I have also been watching bulletins from Germany and France. Reassuringly, they are having the same arguments about PPE provision and testing (the latter in France, at least), but their coverage is far less relentlessly emotional.

There is a cocktail of factors behind the dismaying public face that Britain currently displays. First, the expressive, emotional public tone reflects real changes in popular temperament in recent decades and perhaps also a less middle-aged and macho public culture.

Second, probably like many Sunday Times readers, I stopped watching TV news regularly long ago, so coming back during this crisis has exposed me to trends in our media culture that have been evolving over years. There is the human-interest dumbing-down as the BBC strains to reach younger audiences presumed to have shorter attention spans (even though a growing proportion are graduates)."

OutwardBound2016 · 29/04/2020 16:04

It will hugely backfire, kids will be kept off school by anxious parents, people will die because they are scared to go to the GP for legitimate concerns and the government will wonder why. People need to work to support the NHS not stand on their doorsteps and clap on a Thursday but people would rather focus on ‘facts’ mostly read on Facebook.

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 16:06

Apparently some work is being done on a 'new message' to move on from the stay at home one, wonder how that will work? "It's Ok you can come out now?" Confused

Springersrock · 29/04/2020 16:07

On too many nights, the news bulletins at 6pm and 10pm run along these tramlines: here’s something about Covid-19; here’s someone who died; here’s a sobbing relative or frontline hero telling you to stay at home, save lives and protect the NHS.

Yes!

I was watching our local news a few days ago. Sadly, someone fairly young had died with the virus. The family were interviewed and they were very clear that they had many, very serious underlying health conditions. It made it on to the 10pm BBC news headlines - absolutely no mention of the underlying conditions.

I think they’re struggling to find something exciting to report. It’s not a very fast moving situation with lots of big headlines everyday. We are still in lockdown, hospital admissions are falling, the death rate is slowly falling, testing has finally improved, but it’s not all big splashy headlines if you see what I mean.

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 16:08

Problem is it is not just Facebook it is places like NHS adverts and BBC News which reach so many more- and people would think they could really trust to be truthful...

those not online for example. Think of all the people stuck at home watching it all

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 16:11

I will post some more of the Times article as it is quite apt, not the whole thing though,

"It is aware that its own upper-middle-class centre-left bias is not the whole country, so it retreats to the lowest common denominators that we all can agree on. In this crisis, that amounts to: it’s all very sad, and dying is bad!

I think most of us want less monomaniacally depressive coverage and a spirit of concerned inquiry that sets trends and numbers in proper context.

Is the 100-plus frontline NHS staff deaths out of 600,000 patient-facing workers a lot or a little? How does it compare with elsewhere? The BBC could look at the experiences of countries such as Italy that might be coming our way, interrogate the different schools of thought among scientists and, while reporting criticism of the government where deserved, look behind the blockages and slow responses to identify the institutional factors that might lie behind them. Too much centralisation? Too little?

I have not, in the main, been a government-basher, but its communications strategy has contributed to the infantilisation of the public. There should have been more open admission of failures.

People know this is an impossible situation, and admissions of failure are a sign of strength, not weakness (see Emmanuel Macron and various German ministers). The robotic praising of the public for staying at home like good children should have been replaced with a more galvanising message, telling us how we can do something useful, even if it’s just to bash out a couple of face masks on an old sewing machine.

We don’t want false optimism but we would like to hear how the government and its experts are weighing up the various trade-offs for ending lockdown.

The emotionalisation of public discourse is sometimes put down to the feminisation of society, but what we are experiencing is more accurately (and gender-neutrally) attributed to what the American writer Matthew Crawford, in his new book Why We Drive, calls “safetyism”. To invoke safety is to claim the high ground of public-spiritedness, and it is difficult to argue for any course of action that might in the short term reduce human safety.

The feminist writer Louise Perry agrees: “The safetyism idea sounds right, and I’m sure it’s gendered to some degree, since women are more risk-averse, on average. But I wonder if low tolerance of premature death is a natural consequence of living in a very safe society, rather than the product of any particular ideology.”

Some of what we now need is just old-fashioned political leadership. Our leaders must cut through the fear and paralysis that results from our overemotional public conversation and set a course out of the lockdown that is measured — underpinned by data and arguments that we can all see. And the BBC can then report it calmly and rigorously, as in the olden days."

OutwardBound2016 · 29/04/2020 16:16

I watched the OneShow yesterday (only because I was ironing!) I usually think it’s tedious and a bit shit but yesterday I thought it was one of the most positive things I’ve seen on the BBC in ages. They had a piece about refuse collectors and how office teams were all mucking in. A reassuring piece about power distribution and a chap saying that scare stories about blackouts were nonsense and a lighthearted interview about a new comedy series. I might now be a OneShow fan!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/04/2020 16:39

I've just posted on the Captain Tom thread saying I like hearing about something other than coronavirus. No doubt they'll be thinking I don't take it seriously!

Alsohuman · 29/04/2020 16:46

I hope you used a ♟ Pussy.

DianneWhatcock · 29/04/2020 16:58

LOVE this thread

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 29/04/2020 17:05

I wasn't on my iPad so I couldn't unfortunately.

(Whisper it quietly, I did it during work time)

Smilethoyourheartisbreaking · 29/04/2020 17:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DominaShantotto · 29/04/2020 17:28

Dear God - I've been fighting my own front against the dementors and the PEOPLE WILL DIE IF YOU GO OUT FOR A NEWSPAPER and clapamaniacs and you were here all the time!

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 17:30

The BBC is funded by the licence payers and NHS by the taxpayers so they should be more accountable really. there was no need to be so emotional / frightening. It could have been possible to have been stern. perhaps and emphasise seriousness without being so dramatic.

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 17:30

I mean in general. Not as serious as ebola, obviously.

Orangeblossom78 · 29/04/2020 17:52

The BBC does seem to influence posters on here as well, for example

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3892235-bbc-breaking-my-heart-this-morning