Some people enjoy patronising and depressing others

[Esprohuy]

Clearly everyone is having a different experience of the current situation. It seems to me from the posts here and elsewhere that MN is full of people searching for threads from people either asking genuinely when others think the restrictions may be reduced, or people expressing mental or emotional.distress due to being locked away, sometimes alone. The pattern is the OP posts, there are a couple of sympathetic/in the case of lockdown speculation dovish opinions then the Depressor swoops, usually with a formulation along the lines of:
If you think these restrictions will be lifted anytime soon you are a naïve fool. Christmas will be cancelled and things will never fully return to normal

In the threads expressing mental distress their standard formulation is a variety of:
FFS pull yourselves together. It's been (insert number) weeks, how the F do you think people coped in the war the. All you are being asked to do is stay in and watch Netflix

There seems to be a remarkably large number of people among this cohort who claim grandparental involvement in WW1/2 and have a partner/sibling serving as a front line NHS worker. These depressors seem to scour MN looking to pounce on people expressing povs like the above.

Complaining about having no eyes? The handmaids only have one eye. And they don't even get discounts on their TV licence.

Think before you post such selfishness.

♟

Cold porridge because someone I know who doesn't exist but is high up in Mossad told me they are cutting off the gas electricity oil air and water soon.

😂😂

Well my internet just cut out. They'll be delighted with that. It's shit because the only thing I was being asked to do was sit on my arse and what netflix all day.

Now I might actually have to pick some fruit.

My bad. I’m not just a covidiot for talking about the opticians, I’m a covatwat

Also

DONT GO OUT

Every time someone cracks a joke on this thread the lockdown will need to be extended by another week...

My neighbours sisters cousin read an article that said the the virus is spread by laughter and that people who are not miserable will be responsible for the end of the world.

Hope youre proud of yourselves and can sleep at night. I used an inhaler at sports day in 1992 and people eating curly wurlys disgust me (unless they've also bought me one, then it's fine!)

Thank you so much OP for this thread 😁

Spooky - mine went down for a few minutes about 10 minutes ago. I was on my way upstairs to pack a bag ready to be ferried to the nearest fruit farm, but dammit the router came back to life. Stupid router! It's clearly a collaborator...

I wonder what Crimes Against the National Crisis others have committed?

I walked the dog twice today. She’s getting on my tits.

The second time I walked her off lead on the beach. And I really enjoyed it

I’m opening a bottle of Prosecco just for the hell of it. Shall I hand myself in now?
Anything alcoholic is bad enough. But you had to go further. Sparkling alcohol. Sparkling alcohol from a foreign country. Sparkling alcohol from Italy. This is the kind of thing that sets off generational blood feuds in Albania.

I have to say I prefer covatwat to covidiot. It just seems more Mumsnetty some how.

I was on my way upstairs to pack a bag ready to be ferried to the nearest fruit farm, but dammit the router came back to life.

Fucking LOL 😂😂

You flouted the rule of being ferried to the fruit farm and you have absolutely zero shame.

I'm detecting far too much fun / hilarity / enjoyment on this thread.

Not only was I about to flout but what is more I would have FLAUNTED as well.

The NZ containment thread has attracted some dementor replies. Anything remotely approaching good news either gets an 'it's impossible' response or it's held up as the gold standard and further evidence of how the UK has fallen short.

I love this thread! I’m actually trying to make the most of lockdown and have quite enjoyed a lot of it but I’m too scared to say that on here or on Facebook cos I know someone will say “well it’s alright for you, I have to work 20 hours a day, homeschool my 8 children and go shopping for 17 elderly relatives! Besides, how can you enjoy yourself when people are DYING?!” So yeah, if anyone asks I’ll just say it’s a struggle but I’m doing my best.

I sat in my hot tub (called a ‘chavvy sex pond’ on another thread) with a gin and tonic this evening. Flouting and flaunting.

Ohhh... someone else has just called hot tubs ‘rank corona jizz soup’.

@MummyInTheNecropolis I get you. I ended up ignoring Facebook after the first week of lockdown, and I had a good break from MN, the news and generally being online because I was finding it so bloody depressing.

I got loads of reading done and felt a lot better. Then decided to dip my toe back into MN and fortunately this thread came along.

I'd totally go for a chavvy sex pond right now. Bottle of wine, clear night, lovely

This thread is a gem and a breath of life in a world populated by Dementors (or so it feels).

I also just fell down the hot tub rabbit hole...

And came out looking at this bad boy...

http://hydropoolscotland.com/hydropool-17ft-aquatrainer-17-fx-swim-spa/

Please note you couldn't technically hang a washing in my shared garden but I'm all about the manifestation of positive thinking these days.

Imagine how much corona / chlamydia you could spread in that thing!!!

Ooh Chockablok I’d happily take lifelong chlamydia to have one of those in my garden.

well it’s alright for you, I have to work 20 hours a day, homeschool my 8 children and go shopping for 17 elderly relatives!

I am doing most of that (well it feels like it, I lost count of my children somewhere around week 2) and it honestly cheers me up to hear about other people enjoying themselves at the moment. I am living vicariously through other people's G&Ts

I have no arms and legs, I can't see or hear, but if I could I would pick fruit for free for 20 hours a day and then volunteer to cook dinner for every nursing home in the entire UK because in times like these everyone need to do their bit. But alas, I can't so I think you and your child should do it. You can stick your kids in a hedge, fuck 'em, The Coronavirus Blitz is more important, you lazy scroungers just want a handout.

Soz peppermint, I'm too busy ordering a chavvy sex pond so that I too can contract gonorrhoea like what I deserve for Crimes Against the National Crisis.

This also reminds me of a thread away back at the start when there was all the panic buying and empty shelves. Someone was upset they were shopping for an elderly person who didnt want to pay because she couldn't get the exact item requested and had to substitute, and people were laying into her saying she wasnt doing enough and they'd be outraged if they were presented with cherry yoghurt instead of strawberry. Because old people are meant to simultaneously display Blitz spirit and require very specific items, and volunteers were meant to trail around 10 shops looking for the specific items while staying at home.

This is the kind of thing that sets off generational blood feuds in Albania.

So not only will I be responsible for the collapse of the NHS and the end of humanity as we know it, but an international diplomatic incident to boot? #mybad

I'm so going to snigger next time I do my quiet Handmaid shuffle

An excellent description of the reverential hush encountered when Being Permitted To Be Out. I feel like I ought to be wearing one of those white cone hats.