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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bin wars

135 replies

YE420032c · 24/04/2020 16:07

I’m sorry for this long rambling post. Ive read a couple of threads on “bin stuffing” and I intend this as a cautionary tale for anyone who says they would dump the rubbish back on a neighbour’s property. I did this and learned to bitterly regret my hasty decision.

I’m in a position where I don’t know where to turn. My credibility with my neighbours has been destroyed and now they all think I’m a nutcase. I’ve had a police “warning” for harassment. Ive had a warning letter from the council for “fly tipping”. I’ve also received a solicitor’s letter threatening legal action if I “harass” my neighbour any more or encourage family members to “stalk” her.

Going back 2 years or more I became aware that someone was using my wheelie bin for some of their rubbish. My husband would put out the bins each week with only a bit of our rubbish in them. Someone would then come along late at night and put more rubbish in. I had to admit that they never came into my garden and they were not stopping me from putting out more rubbish. The rubbish was also neatly tied up – not dirty or messy. But it really annoyed me that someone was putting more black bags in my bins without asking me.

I got my nephew to park his car nearby and watch out the night before the bins went out. One night he spotted one of my neighbours doing it. Lets call her neighbour A. Next day I left the rubbish on her drive with a note telling her not to do it again. Unbeknown to me neighbour A had CCTV focused on her gate. Shortly after I got a warning letter from the council accusing me of “flytipping” and threatening me I could be summoned to court and sued if it happened again.

Following this incident I have on several occasions had my bins hidden away so they did not get emptied. They were found a couple of streets away. Or unpleasant things were dumped into my bins. Builders rubble, rotting food, shitty nappies.

Even more sinister I had several neighbours accuse ME of putting rubbish in their bins. One accused me of putting disposable nappies in her bin. She said that there was junk mail with my address on it among the rubbish. Another couple had just moved into an empty house. They said there were “about a dozen” black bin bags of rubbish dumped in their garden along with packing crates from a kitchen supplier with my name/address on them. When I denied it they said that I was “known” for dumping rubbish on other people’s property and they had seen “photographic proof”. They had obviously spoken to A and seen her CCTV photos.

When they came over they did not even speak to me. The husband, who did all the talking, just talked across me and addressed my husband as if I wasn’t there. He threatened to go to the local council if there were any more “incidents” and implied that I had a mental health problem.

Ive also had a letter from the manager of a business part that backs onto our property – and that of neighbour A. It accused me of throwing sacks of rotting food onto their property on several occasions and mentions them containing “correspondence” with my address. Again there were threats of legal action if any more “fly tipping” occurs.

I suspected that A was engineering a conspiracy to punish me but had no way to prove it. The incidents were weeks – sometimes months – apart. Therefore it was difficult to find out who was doing it.

My nephew did try waiting there a few times but one night he was approached by two police officers. They checked his documents and said they had received a complaint that someone with his vehicle registration has been sitting outside the house of a resident and intimidating them. My nephew tried to explain about the bins but the officers were not interested and got huffy. They warned him that if there were any further complaints about him “harassing” the resident he could be arrested. Of course he has not parked there since. And he feels that he dare not even park in the street now.

My neighbour A is an old woman who lives alone and had no doubt presented herself to the officers as a “vulnerable” person who was being stalked by this man who sat outside in his car. It seems you can no longer watch someone’s house even if you never approach them or intend to do them any harm. Its “stalking” which is a form of harassment. Apparently its now a criminal offence.

Going back to the stuff dumped in my bin. Builders rubble, mouldy cat food, and shitty nappies.

I still think that my neighbour A was behind all this. She doesn’t have a cat or any children but I suspect she was recruiting her friends to help out in “punishing” me. My husband and I tried going to her house and confronting to her about it and asking her to end the “bin war” but she said “You cant go about accusing people without proof. You’ve obviously got mental problems and a fetish about dustbins. ”

A rents her house and I did try to phone her landlord. He said it was a personal dispute and the tenant has done nothing to break her lease. He put the phone down on me.

Later that day the community police called. They insinuated that my husband and I were “harassing” my neighbour which is a “criminal offence”. We have been left a “police information notice” which warns us that neither I nor any member of my family must do anything to contact or annoy A, otherwise we can be arrested under the “Protection from Harrassment Act”

Ive also received a strongly worded letter from A’s solicitor headed “Letter before action”. It threatened me with legal action for harassment if I or any member of my family approaches her, tries to communicate with her or “surveils” her house. It also mentioned my “spreading malicious gossip” to her landlord. It seems that too is a form of harassment. If I want to communicate with her I have to go through the solicitor or risk legal action.

So Im now in a position where I don’t know what to do. I can’t ask my nephew or any of my relatives to park outside in case they get into trouble. CCTV is not an option for me because there is a high fence between my house and where we put the bins.

At the moment I am "hiding" in my sisters house 300 miles away. So if any more dumping incidents happen I can prove it was not me. I sneaked out of the house under cover of darkness and am feeling very tense about the idea of going back home.

OP posts:
PianoTuner567 · 24/04/2020 16:11

Can’t you just move? Seriously? There’s no going back from this with your neighbour and life is too short to be ruined by stress over bins.

Windyatthebeach · 24/04/2020 16:13

Please email your MP with every bit of information... Rainypuddles will confirm the police are absolutely useless in dealing with neighbour disputes.
Get cctv up yourself. Keep a diary.
What a load of nasty bastards you have there op.

UnfinishedSymphon · 24/04/2020 16:14

Seems to be an over the top reaction from your neighbour being asked not to use your bins. And surely if you haven't been dumping rubbish they won't have anything with your address on it? Seems weird that everyone else has taken her word

YE420032c · 24/04/2020 16:16

DH thinks I handled it badly in the first place by dumping the rubbish. I was angry - didnto know it was illegal. He says I should have been more conciliatory and spoken to her first. He suggests writing a humble letter to the solicitor saying I am sorry for any upset I caused A and undertaking not to contact her gain. Then I should just keep my head down and hope the bin wars end.

OP posts:
EverythingChanges321 · 24/04/2020 16:18

Are they wheely bins?
All you need to do is fit a gravity bin lock and the problem will go away.
The bin automatically opens when the bin is tilted at a certain angle (for emptying).

https://www.britishbins.co.uk/gravity-lock.html

We used to have tourists dumping stuff in our bins and we pay for our bin services in Ireland. They charge according to weight of rubbish emptied so it was costing us money.

Simple solution. Wink

Sirzy · 24/04/2020 16:18

What a lot of fuss over a bit of rubbish!

I do have to agree with your husband that talking to her in the first place would have been a lot better. Getting your nephew to sit and spy seems really over the top!

Send a letter to apologise for the initial incident and ending with “I hope we can return to civil relationship as neighbours”

YE420032c · 24/04/2020 16:19

I used to be a bit careless about not shredding personal stuff before I put it in the bin and someone could have nabbed old letters etc and maliciously put them in other peeps rubbish. We are a lot more careful now about shredding and deleting anything sensitive.

OP posts:
NewNameGuy · 24/04/2020 16:24

No advice but sorry you live next to such complete tossers.

Hopefully old lady will not be there for much longer but no doubt she'll live to 100 powered by her miserableness

FixTheBone · 24/04/2020 16:29

Sorry, you sound unhinged.

Somebody well orientated wouldn't have an issue with an elderly neighbour putting their well wrapped rubbish in your bin.

They wouldn't employ family member to stake-out the neighbourhood

They wouldn't hide their bins to stop people putting rubbish in them

They wouldn't escalate the problem over the course of two years

I could go on.

artistformerlyknownas · 24/04/2020 16:33

Oh my lord. If you don't want to move, then:

  1. Get bin locks for all your bins. Store them behind a locked gate when not out.
  1. Reply in writing to the solicitors, council and police if necessary, a) asking to see the evidence they have of your fly tipping and b) reminding them that repeatedly making false claims and grievances, as A is doing towards you, is also a form of harassment.
  1. Get CCTV covering your house entrance - regardless of where your bins are, in case of further accusations, you can use the footage to show the time you entered the house and that you didn't leave again in the time specified, etc.
  1. STOP asking anyone to sit outside their house. It absolutely is harassment to have someone watch their property and movements.
Nottherealslimshady · 24/04/2020 16:38

You were weird to have a problem with someone putting clean bin bags in your nearly empty bin just before the binmen came. Then weird to not go talk to her. Then weird to not just get a bin lock. Then it just descends into craziness.

The damage is done, I'd move .

KindleAndCake · 24/04/2020 16:41

Why would a single old lady need to put rubbish in your bin, surely she would have enough room in her own bin, being just one person. Something doesn't add up there.

LazyFace · 24/04/2020 16:47

I'd have reported anyone staring at my house from their cars regularly, too. What made you do that? Put a camera in your car that's in front of your house or find a way to install cctv.
It's all very weird.
Reminds me of a bag of dog poo that's been sitting on a pavement nearby for a few weeks now. On day one there was a note about it saying 'whoever put this dog shit in my bin, take it home with you' ...

YE420032c · 24/04/2020 20:42

Sorry for the long thread but I think some of you have glossed over some of the details.

I had accusations of bin dumping from the business park and two other neighbours who Say they found correspondence of mine mixed in with the rubbish. Seems someone stole this correspondence from my bin and deliberately planted it in with the stuff they put in other bins to make me look like the guilty party.

One neighbor claimed there were big packing cases (as if for kitchen units etc) which had labels on them from a company in Birmingham. Ive never had any such units delivered or had my kitchen done out. When I asked to see proof the neighbour said he had to take all the rubbish to the tip as there was so much of it.

I believe A got some of her friends to pick stuff from my bin after it has been put out to make ME look guilty and then dump it around the area to cause trouble. As I said all these incidents were spread over many months and show long term malicious planning. Someone has been deliberately trying them to make me look like some kind of nutcase. I just cant prove that it was orchestrated by A/her pals.

OP posts:
slipperywhensparticus · 24/04/2020 20:50

That's why you need a bin lock stop them going through your bin

Reply to her solicitor telling them as her client was observed maliciously overfilling your bin you simply returned her rubbish to her you expect her to deal with her own rubbish in future and leave you and your bins out of it also explain that anymore ridiculous allegations will result in you contacting adult health and social care and requesting a mental health assessment as your currently not even living at the property and havent been for some time

VettiyaIruken · 24/04/2020 20:50

I think it's gone too far now for anything to stop it.

The sensible thing is for you to move. A fresh start. And get a gravity lock for your new bin.

I realise moving is not easy.
But if they are doing what you describe then it is clear the goal is to get you a criminal record.

The logical thing to do is remove yourself.

Boireannachlaidir · 24/04/2020 20:55

I'm inclined to agree with @FixTheBone here and I think you just need to get a lock for your bins, this is obviously consuming you more than necessary.

Cherrysoup · 24/04/2020 20:55

Bin lock. The neighbour clearly has a campaign, but getting your nephew to watch her was a bonkers idea.

YE420032c · 24/04/2020 21:59

Well as you can guess there is a whole long back story between me and A that has gone on for years.

When she first moved in (18 years ago) I didnt realise there was a new tenant and I sent workmen into the garden to place ladders so they could paint my gutter. Well she came flying out giving the workmen down the banks for being on "her" property without permission.

She told me "If you need access to my property in the future for essential work you must ask my permission before the workmen start the job. I will not unreasonably refuse. Put a note through my door saying you need to see me and I will come around so we can negotiate terms."

I didnt like her hoity toity attitude so I told her that I did not need her permission as she was "only a tenant". A few days later there was a paper put through my door with something printed from the internet explaining that in law a tenant has more or less the same legal rights as an owner occupier to say who comes and goes on the property so long as they have a contract. I didnt know that - so I made a mistake.

Over the years there have been several disputes about people being allowed onto the property. Once I had a plumber to fix the loo and he thought the problems might be connected so he went next door and asked her if he could come in and look at her system. She downright refused and said she doesnt allow strangers into her home. He had to write to her for an appointment on his letterhead. Then she would arrange an appointment when she could have a male relative present.

When I took this up with her landlord he seemed to feel she had acted very reasonably in offering me an appointment for the workman to call, even though I would have had to pay a second call out charge. He said there was no problem with the drains and they had their own plumber. He also said that even to send his own workmen around to do a repair he HAD to make an arrangement up front with the tenant as that is the law. Then he said "I dont like snitches and tittle tattles and you must settle it between yourselves as to who has access to what."

Over the years Ive had to ring the landlord a few time over her visitors taking our parking space and other things. He always says these are private matters and he does not want to get involved because she is not breaking her lease. He is only interested in getting his rent.

OP posts:
anguauberwaldironfoundersson · 24/04/2020 22:12

only a tennant

I think you just lost your audience Hmm

ilovehalloumi · 24/04/2020 22:13

Wow. Your most recent post makes you sound unhinged....you told her you could do what you want in her garden because she is 'only a tenant'??? You have rung her landlord about someone parking in 'your space'. Multiple times??

I feel sorry for your neighbour.

JustAboutHoldingItIn · 24/04/2020 22:14

Oh dear. Your update shows that you probably need to rethink how you speak to your neighbours in order to keep them on side.

bluebell34567 · 24/04/2020 22:16

these all sound like a thriiler fiction. anyway;
-get a lock for your bin.
dont put stuff with your name and address in your bins. this will protect you from identity theft as well.
lower the fence and get a cctv.
if other people claim you put rubbish in their bins ask them to show you the proof-like cctv, your name on stuff etc-.
-or move away. she is a neighbor from hell.

TheNewSchmoo · 24/04/2020 22:18

You sound like a nightmare neighbour. Your behaviour is very, very poor indeed. Leave the poor woman alone.

Sirzy · 24/04/2020 22:20

I don’t think it’s your neighbour who is the problem here!

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