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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bin wars

135 replies

YE420032c · 24/04/2020 16:07

I’m sorry for this long rambling post. Ive read a couple of threads on “bin stuffing” and I intend this as a cautionary tale for anyone who says they would dump the rubbish back on a neighbour’s property. I did this and learned to bitterly regret my hasty decision.

I’m in a position where I don’t know where to turn. My credibility with my neighbours has been destroyed and now they all think I’m a nutcase. I’ve had a police “warning” for harassment. Ive had a warning letter from the council for “fly tipping”. I’ve also received a solicitor’s letter threatening legal action if I “harass” my neighbour any more or encourage family members to “stalk” her.

Going back 2 years or more I became aware that someone was using my wheelie bin for some of their rubbish. My husband would put out the bins each week with only a bit of our rubbish in them. Someone would then come along late at night and put more rubbish in. I had to admit that they never came into my garden and they were not stopping me from putting out more rubbish. The rubbish was also neatly tied up – not dirty or messy. But it really annoyed me that someone was putting more black bags in my bins without asking me.

I got my nephew to park his car nearby and watch out the night before the bins went out. One night he spotted one of my neighbours doing it. Lets call her neighbour A. Next day I left the rubbish on her drive with a note telling her not to do it again. Unbeknown to me neighbour A had CCTV focused on her gate. Shortly after I got a warning letter from the council accusing me of “flytipping” and threatening me I could be summoned to court and sued if it happened again.

Following this incident I have on several occasions had my bins hidden away so they did not get emptied. They were found a couple of streets away. Or unpleasant things were dumped into my bins. Builders rubble, rotting food, shitty nappies.

Even more sinister I had several neighbours accuse ME of putting rubbish in their bins. One accused me of putting disposable nappies in her bin. She said that there was junk mail with my address on it among the rubbish. Another couple had just moved into an empty house. They said there were “about a dozen” black bin bags of rubbish dumped in their garden along with packing crates from a kitchen supplier with my name/address on them. When I denied it they said that I was “known” for dumping rubbish on other people’s property and they had seen “photographic proof”. They had obviously spoken to A and seen her CCTV photos.

When they came over they did not even speak to me. The husband, who did all the talking, just talked across me and addressed my husband as if I wasn’t there. He threatened to go to the local council if there were any more “incidents” and implied that I had a mental health problem.

Ive also had a letter from the manager of a business part that backs onto our property – and that of neighbour A. It accused me of throwing sacks of rotting food onto their property on several occasions and mentions them containing “correspondence” with my address. Again there were threats of legal action if any more “fly tipping” occurs.

I suspected that A was engineering a conspiracy to punish me but had no way to prove it. The incidents were weeks – sometimes months – apart. Therefore it was difficult to find out who was doing it.

My nephew did try waiting there a few times but one night he was approached by two police officers. They checked his documents and said they had received a complaint that someone with his vehicle registration has been sitting outside the house of a resident and intimidating them. My nephew tried to explain about the bins but the officers were not interested and got huffy. They warned him that if there were any further complaints about him “harassing” the resident he could be arrested. Of course he has not parked there since. And he feels that he dare not even park in the street now.

My neighbour A is an old woman who lives alone and had no doubt presented herself to the officers as a “vulnerable” person who was being stalked by this man who sat outside in his car. It seems you can no longer watch someone’s house even if you never approach them or intend to do them any harm. Its “stalking” which is a form of harassment. Apparently its now a criminal offence.

Going back to the stuff dumped in my bin. Builders rubble, mouldy cat food, and shitty nappies.

I still think that my neighbour A was behind all this. She doesn’t have a cat or any children but I suspect she was recruiting her friends to help out in “punishing” me. My husband and I tried going to her house and confronting to her about it and asking her to end the “bin war” but she said “You cant go about accusing people without proof. You’ve obviously got mental problems and a fetish about dustbins. ”

A rents her house and I did try to phone her landlord. He said it was a personal dispute and the tenant has done nothing to break her lease. He put the phone down on me.

Later that day the community police called. They insinuated that my husband and I were “harassing” my neighbour which is a “criminal offence”. We have been left a “police information notice” which warns us that neither I nor any member of my family must do anything to contact or annoy A, otherwise we can be arrested under the “Protection from Harrassment Act”

Ive also received a strongly worded letter from A’s solicitor headed “Letter before action”. It threatened me with legal action for harassment if I or any member of my family approaches her, tries to communicate with her or “surveils” her house. It also mentioned my “spreading malicious gossip” to her landlord. It seems that too is a form of harassment. If I want to communicate with her I have to go through the solicitor or risk legal action.

So Im now in a position where I don’t know what to do. I can’t ask my nephew or any of my relatives to park outside in case they get into trouble. CCTV is not an option for me because there is a high fence between my house and where we put the bins.

At the moment I am "hiding" in my sisters house 300 miles away. So if any more dumping incidents happen I can prove it was not me. I sneaked out of the house under cover of darkness and am feeling very tense about the idea of going back home.

OP posts:
notanotherpothole · 24/04/2020 22:21

She's not the neighbour from hell, you are. Your attitude to her stinks. And I can't believe you run to her landlord about parking, you're not in primary school. My neighbour regularly uses our bin when it's left out, why would I care? We don't pay by weight so it's no odds to me. You seriously need to get a grip, apologise and let her live her life.
I agree with her stance on not letting your plumber into her house. She is being safe, especially if she's elderly and lives alone. The world does not revolve around you.

HowManyToes · 24/04/2020 22:26

Your last post makes you sound awful, actually. It does sound like you've saved very unreasonably in the past and it's no wonder your neighbors don't like you.

Without sounding like a five year old... you definitely started it.

HowManyToes · 24/04/2020 22:27

*acted very unreasonably in the past, sorry!

Travis1 · 24/04/2020 22:30

🤣🤣🤣 3/10 ‘must try harder’

Nanalisa60 · 24/04/2020 22:32

I but my bins out with all my rubbish for that week, if there is any room in them if someone else buts stuff in them I could not care less!!

Sometimes I might but something in my neighbours bins

But guess what it does not matter because after the bin men have been all the bloody bins are empty!!

Life is to bloody short to worry about bins it’s just pathetic , and if you can’t realise that at this moment when people are dying of a virus !! Then really you need to take a long hard look at yourself.

user1487194234 · 24/04/2020 22:33

Honestly can't understand why anyone would care if anyone put rubbish in their bin
And I can be a touch unreasonable!

CallmeAngelina · 24/04/2020 22:33

It's interesting that the police have acted in this way when poor old rainypuddles on another thread can't get anything done about the harassment she suffers daily with her batshit neighbours.

rjebgf · 24/04/2020 22:38

You should have left the original extra sack in your bin. It wasn’t hurting you or even inconveniencing you in any way. The resulting events sound utterly scary.

Tonz · 24/04/2020 22:42

😂😂😂 I'm sorry but I couldn't stop laughing reading that u sound batshit

Weregoingonanadventure · 24/04/2020 22:44

This has to be a reverse or something.

Did you seriously think that you could send anyone onto her property whenever you liked because she was renting? So, she could be using her garden but you could just send someone to erect scaffolding and that would be find because she was renting?
Renters are paying for their home and all the bills with it, just like you. She is allowed the same quiet enjoyment of her property just like you. You dont get to demand use of her property whenever you like just because she rents.

It sounds like you're constantly on the phone to her landlord, and you enlisted your nephew on a stalking campaign.

You're a nightmare. What she has done might be wrong, but it sounds like karma just coming back to bite you in the ass.

Chickychoccyegg · 24/04/2020 22:44

i was believing this until your last post, take it you're bored op!
on the off chance you're for real, your update makes you sound nuts

Hoggleludo · 24/04/2020 22:45

Oh my gosh

You rang her landlord?!? Multiple times?

You said she couldn't do anything as she's just a tenant?

Give up

Ignore. Move.

Ignore. Move

Rinse and repeat.

ACertainSupermarket · 24/04/2020 22:45

You are the issue, it seems to me. Stop acting like a Jane Austen villain and start treating people as neighbours, not nuisances.

fedupwiththisshitnow · 24/04/2020 22:54

Wow - is this real? Barmy.

IHaveAMagicBean · 24/04/2020 23:01

Seems you started an unnecessary war and now you’re upset because your chosen victim has played you back and won.

Was it really worth all this just because someone put some rubbish in your bin?

MorganKitten · 24/04/2020 23:02

From your newer posts you are a tad unhinged and rude.
I wouldn’t let a random builder/plumber in mine and would rather someone else there, you had no right to use her garden because she doesnt own her home.

You need to adjust your attitude.

PlanDeRaccordement · 24/04/2020 23:05

OP,
It’s too far gone you need to move to another town/village.

However it started, you were complicit in escalating things such that there is clearly a war going on between you and your neighbour. She has the authorities on her side, so you have lost. She’s untouchable at this point and she seems inclined to make your life a misery.

I don’t think an apology will satisfy her at all and honestly I think she doesn’t deserve one because she’s been equally horrible. Keep your dignity, sell or lease your house and move to another town. Make it a clean break too, don’t tell anyone or leave a forwarding address with a new resident because you don’t want this following you.

Chickychoccyegg · 24/04/2020 23:06

are the responses what you were hoping for op? 😂

TrainspottingWelsh · 24/04/2020 23:08

Initially I agreed with fixthebone. Now I believe you are completely unhinged.

Cillmantain · 24/04/2020 23:10

You sound nasty.
You are the nightmare neighbour

1Morewineplease · 24/04/2020 23:17

Bin locks and CCTV will be your only answer to this.
You claim that folk are taking mail etc.. with your name on and are planting these in other bins.
You need evidence. Have you spoken to a solicitor? The accusations against you suggest that you really need legal advice now.

Tbh... I think that you need to move as it doesn’t seem like this will get resolved in the near future.

itbemay1 · 24/04/2020 23:25

I didnt like her hoity toity attitude so I told her that I did not need her permission as she was "only a tenant".

You lose.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 24/04/2020 23:35

Is this all real? Are there really people so arrogant and bullying that they think tenants should have no rights over or privacy in their own homes? Even though they're almost certainly paying a lot more each month in rent than other folk will be paying for their mortgages?

You need to realise that other people are different from you, will have different thoughts, preferences and ways of doing things from you - and their different ways (unless extreme and antisocial) are not worse than your own life choices, just because they aren't you.

It also won't help you get along with the authorities if you keep dismissively saying "apparently, this is considered a crime now!" about things that are, to most people, clearly significant issues that really do blight people's lives and well-being, such as stalking or clear harassment.

I know the term gets bandied about a lot on MN, but you sound like you have worrying narcissistic tendencies. It can't be a pleasant way to live - for you or for your neighbours. You remind me of an elderly relative of mine with lifelong mental health issues who has, quite earnestly, told me about all of her dreadful neighbours (whom she regularly shouted at for some perceived imaginary slight) who make it a terrible street to have to live on. Well, she was right insofar as there was one person on the street who made it an absolute misery for all of the rest....

Whatever would you do if something seriously important happened, for which there was a need for genuine concern - and you've already ramped your panic controls up to 11 over somebody using a bit of excess bin space before the bin men come? Why would you care? How did you even notice, if you'd already filled your bin as much as you wanted and put it out for collection?

You sound like these people who are weirdly convinced that the bit of public road outside their house forms part of their title deeds and will angrily demand that anybody using it move - even when they don't actually have a car of their own that they wanted to park there.

sestras · 24/04/2020 23:38

If my bins out on bin night and there is space, my neighbours are more than welcome to chuck a bag in it so I don't really understand what the problem was in the first place.

Your last post is just something else. I don't even know where to begin with that.

I'm glad I don't live next to you.

elenacampana · 24/04/2020 23:41

The space outside of your house isn’t part of your house, you’ve got no legal claim to it. The landlord must think you’re off your trolley.