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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bin wars

135 replies

YE420032c · 24/04/2020 16:07

I’m sorry for this long rambling post. Ive read a couple of threads on “bin stuffing” and I intend this as a cautionary tale for anyone who says they would dump the rubbish back on a neighbour’s property. I did this and learned to bitterly regret my hasty decision.

I’m in a position where I don’t know where to turn. My credibility with my neighbours has been destroyed and now they all think I’m a nutcase. I’ve had a police “warning” for harassment. Ive had a warning letter from the council for “fly tipping”. I’ve also received a solicitor’s letter threatening legal action if I “harass” my neighbour any more or encourage family members to “stalk” her.

Going back 2 years or more I became aware that someone was using my wheelie bin for some of their rubbish. My husband would put out the bins each week with only a bit of our rubbish in them. Someone would then come along late at night and put more rubbish in. I had to admit that they never came into my garden and they were not stopping me from putting out more rubbish. The rubbish was also neatly tied up – not dirty or messy. But it really annoyed me that someone was putting more black bags in my bins without asking me.

I got my nephew to park his car nearby and watch out the night before the bins went out. One night he spotted one of my neighbours doing it. Lets call her neighbour A. Next day I left the rubbish on her drive with a note telling her not to do it again. Unbeknown to me neighbour A had CCTV focused on her gate. Shortly after I got a warning letter from the council accusing me of “flytipping” and threatening me I could be summoned to court and sued if it happened again.

Following this incident I have on several occasions had my bins hidden away so they did not get emptied. They were found a couple of streets away. Or unpleasant things were dumped into my bins. Builders rubble, rotting food, shitty nappies.

Even more sinister I had several neighbours accuse ME of putting rubbish in their bins. One accused me of putting disposable nappies in her bin. She said that there was junk mail with my address on it among the rubbish. Another couple had just moved into an empty house. They said there were “about a dozen” black bin bags of rubbish dumped in their garden along with packing crates from a kitchen supplier with my name/address on them. When I denied it they said that I was “known” for dumping rubbish on other people’s property and they had seen “photographic proof”. They had obviously spoken to A and seen her CCTV photos.

When they came over they did not even speak to me. The husband, who did all the talking, just talked across me and addressed my husband as if I wasn’t there. He threatened to go to the local council if there were any more “incidents” and implied that I had a mental health problem.

Ive also had a letter from the manager of a business part that backs onto our property – and that of neighbour A. It accused me of throwing sacks of rotting food onto their property on several occasions and mentions them containing “correspondence” with my address. Again there were threats of legal action if any more “fly tipping” occurs.

I suspected that A was engineering a conspiracy to punish me but had no way to prove it. The incidents were weeks – sometimes months – apart. Therefore it was difficult to find out who was doing it.

My nephew did try waiting there a few times but one night he was approached by two police officers. They checked his documents and said they had received a complaint that someone with his vehicle registration has been sitting outside the house of a resident and intimidating them. My nephew tried to explain about the bins but the officers were not interested and got huffy. They warned him that if there were any further complaints about him “harassing” the resident he could be arrested. Of course he has not parked there since. And he feels that he dare not even park in the street now.

My neighbour A is an old woman who lives alone and had no doubt presented herself to the officers as a “vulnerable” person who was being stalked by this man who sat outside in his car. It seems you can no longer watch someone’s house even if you never approach them or intend to do them any harm. Its “stalking” which is a form of harassment. Apparently its now a criminal offence.

Going back to the stuff dumped in my bin. Builders rubble, mouldy cat food, and shitty nappies.

I still think that my neighbour A was behind all this. She doesn’t have a cat or any children but I suspect she was recruiting her friends to help out in “punishing” me. My husband and I tried going to her house and confronting to her about it and asking her to end the “bin war” but she said “You cant go about accusing people without proof. You’ve obviously got mental problems and a fetish about dustbins. ”

A rents her house and I did try to phone her landlord. He said it was a personal dispute and the tenant has done nothing to break her lease. He put the phone down on me.

Later that day the community police called. They insinuated that my husband and I were “harassing” my neighbour which is a “criminal offence”. We have been left a “police information notice” which warns us that neither I nor any member of my family must do anything to contact or annoy A, otherwise we can be arrested under the “Protection from Harrassment Act”

Ive also received a strongly worded letter from A’s solicitor headed “Letter before action”. It threatened me with legal action for harassment if I or any member of my family approaches her, tries to communicate with her or “surveils” her house. It also mentioned my “spreading malicious gossip” to her landlord. It seems that too is a form of harassment. If I want to communicate with her I have to go through the solicitor or risk legal action.

So Im now in a position where I don’t know what to do. I can’t ask my nephew or any of my relatives to park outside in case they get into trouble. CCTV is not an option for me because there is a high fence between my house and where we put the bins.

At the moment I am "hiding" in my sisters house 300 miles away. So if any more dumping incidents happen I can prove it was not me. I sneaked out of the house under cover of darkness and am feeling very tense about the idea of going back home.

OP posts:
biglouis123 · 26/04/2020 12:13

If there is one thing that pizzes me off its when someone plays the race card to try to get out of a dispute.

You came to this country 20 or 30 years ago and we were good enough to let you in. Like a lot of immigrants you worked hard and got on. But that does not give you the right to disrespect and look down on people born in this country. They and their parents were here paying taxes long before you arrived and paying for resources in the community of which you now have the use.

And when you settle in another country its a good idea to look up the laws.

No you cant send your pervert relatives to park outside their house and spy on them. Its stalking (a form of harassment)

No you cant snitch to their landlord about things which might annoy you but are not breaking their lease or the law. Its malicious gossip - another form of harassment.

No you cant send workmen onto their property or expect them to walk into her house without notice or warning at your convenience. Thats called Trespass.

From the words of neighbour A that you quote it seems that she asked you to notify her if you wanted permission for your workmen to access the property or to arrange an appointment. She offered to come around and discuss terms with you. That shows me your neighbour was quite willing to negotiate an arrangement agreeable to both parties. There is nothing "hoity toity" about thst. Your neighbour sounds like a practical person and just wanted to get an agreement in place so both parties could be sure of their rights and responsibilities.

There is a law called the "Access to Neighbouring Land" act which says you can go to the court for permission if your neighbour refuses to allow you access to their property to do ESSENTIAL maintenance to yours. But that does not mean you can simply go onto their land without permission. You have to be seen to have acted reasonably in the eyes of the court. That means being willing to discuss and negotiate up front.

Your neighbour would be entitled to make conditions for access, such as stipulating hours of work, ensuring your workmen are properly insured in case of damage, or even changing a fee if the work was likely to be disruptive or to go on for some time. In some cases the conditions for access might be drawn up in a legal document and you would be asked to pay for a lawyer to do this.

You showed no consideration of your neighbours rights or feelings and rather insulted her and put her down because she was ONLY a tenant. As other posters have pointed out, you should have apollogised, admitted you were in the wrong, and given an undertaking to ask her permission on future occasions.

The fact that she is a tenant and you are a homeowner of 30 years standing does not give you a different set of rights under English law. And it it your neighbour you have to negotiate, NOT her landlord.

As I see it you have two choices:-

  1. write a humble letter to her solicitor admitting you were in the wrong, apologizing for the distress you caused and undertaking not to approach or harass his/her client in the future. If you need any more dealings of any kind with A do it via the solicitor and be prepared to meet any conditions that are laid down because your card is marked now,

2 Move house and be a better neighbour in the future.

Ulver · 26/04/2020 13:48

biglouis123

“ No you cant send your pervert relatives to park outside their house and spy on them. Its stalking (a form of harassment)”

Yeah you lost me when you started calling the OPs relatives perverts out of nowhere. Are all Asians perverts in your opinion?

TreeTopTim · 26/04/2020 14:10

You lost me at 'just a tenant'.

I do actually know whether my neighbours are owners or renters because I live in Scotland and right to buy had stopped before we all moved into this new council estate. Could I give a damn? No.

Spiffingly · 26/04/2020 14:37

For all of the other neighbours to have so readily agreed to join in with a grand scheme for revenge, you can't be very popular!

Techway · 26/04/2020 15:06

Now we know why the elderly neighbour put up CCTV! I bet you have been a nightmare since day 1.

I think you are unhinged if you believe your elderly neighbour put dirty nappies (where would she get them??) in your bins. Remember she has CCTV so could prove it wasn't her.

Get treatment for your paranoia and persecution complex as it must affect other areas of your life.

Knowivedonewrong · 26/04/2020 15:08

Knobber of the day award goes to the OP.
Have a word with yourself!

Onone · 26/04/2020 15:16

Well my neighbours slash tires if any one parks In front of their house!

Windyatthebeach · 26/04/2020 16:32

Our very elderly neighbour slashes tyres and scratches cars if we dare to block her light..
She told me I was lying when I said I lived in the street -( 5 years!!)..
She actually crawled on her hands and knees under a table to take pics of me daring to park!! Bonkers!!

CreamLinenChairCover · 26/04/2020 16:59

You’ve both been mad...phoning her landlord to complain about her visitors !
I’m afraid she has really really retaliated.

And I would move house, as everyone believes you to be quite mad now, although the posts I have read might suggest, that this is a work of fiction, by one of the new writers on Mumsnet.

So if you’re a new writer, it’s OK

If it’s true, you have been as much at fault

Just keep shredding your own stuff, lock your bin, and look to move, and be nicer in future.

biglouis123 · 26/04/2020 17:55

Ethnicity is a red herring. Pretty bizarre behaviour regardless of whether the person doing the stalking was black, white or polka dot.

OP stated that her relative waited outside her neighbours house on multiple occasions.

Firstly to find out who was putting (neatly tied and bagged) rubbish in her bins (after it was put out for collection).

Later on "several" occasions to see if anyone was still interfering with the bins. OP mentions incidents spaced apart by weeks/months

Presumably he would have continued his nightly exploits if the police had not warned him.

That sounds pretty much like twisted and perverted behavior to me. The cops certainly took a dim view of it and he was probably lucky not to be arrested.

Such extreme behavior possibly justified by the kinds of criminal damage to cars that some posters above have mentioned. But putting stuff in BINS!

Aunt and nephew are as batty as one another.

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