Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Bin wars

135 replies

YE420032c · 24/04/2020 16:07

I’m sorry for this long rambling post. Ive read a couple of threads on “bin stuffing” and I intend this as a cautionary tale for anyone who says they would dump the rubbish back on a neighbour’s property. I did this and learned to bitterly regret my hasty decision.

I’m in a position where I don’t know where to turn. My credibility with my neighbours has been destroyed and now they all think I’m a nutcase. I’ve had a police “warning” for harassment. Ive had a warning letter from the council for “fly tipping”. I’ve also received a solicitor’s letter threatening legal action if I “harass” my neighbour any more or encourage family members to “stalk” her.

Going back 2 years or more I became aware that someone was using my wheelie bin for some of their rubbish. My husband would put out the bins each week with only a bit of our rubbish in them. Someone would then come along late at night and put more rubbish in. I had to admit that they never came into my garden and they were not stopping me from putting out more rubbish. The rubbish was also neatly tied up – not dirty or messy. But it really annoyed me that someone was putting more black bags in my bins without asking me.

I got my nephew to park his car nearby and watch out the night before the bins went out. One night he spotted one of my neighbours doing it. Lets call her neighbour A. Next day I left the rubbish on her drive with a note telling her not to do it again. Unbeknown to me neighbour A had CCTV focused on her gate. Shortly after I got a warning letter from the council accusing me of “flytipping” and threatening me I could be summoned to court and sued if it happened again.

Following this incident I have on several occasions had my bins hidden away so they did not get emptied. They were found a couple of streets away. Or unpleasant things were dumped into my bins. Builders rubble, rotting food, shitty nappies.

Even more sinister I had several neighbours accuse ME of putting rubbish in their bins. One accused me of putting disposable nappies in her bin. She said that there was junk mail with my address on it among the rubbish. Another couple had just moved into an empty house. They said there were “about a dozen” black bin bags of rubbish dumped in their garden along with packing crates from a kitchen supplier with my name/address on them. When I denied it they said that I was “known” for dumping rubbish on other people’s property and they had seen “photographic proof”. They had obviously spoken to A and seen her CCTV photos.

When they came over they did not even speak to me. The husband, who did all the talking, just talked across me and addressed my husband as if I wasn’t there. He threatened to go to the local council if there were any more “incidents” and implied that I had a mental health problem.

Ive also had a letter from the manager of a business part that backs onto our property – and that of neighbour A. It accused me of throwing sacks of rotting food onto their property on several occasions and mentions them containing “correspondence” with my address. Again there were threats of legal action if any more “fly tipping” occurs.

I suspected that A was engineering a conspiracy to punish me but had no way to prove it. The incidents were weeks – sometimes months – apart. Therefore it was difficult to find out who was doing it.

My nephew did try waiting there a few times but one night he was approached by two police officers. They checked his documents and said they had received a complaint that someone with his vehicle registration has been sitting outside the house of a resident and intimidating them. My nephew tried to explain about the bins but the officers were not interested and got huffy. They warned him that if there were any further complaints about him “harassing” the resident he could be arrested. Of course he has not parked there since. And he feels that he dare not even park in the street now.

My neighbour A is an old woman who lives alone and had no doubt presented herself to the officers as a “vulnerable” person who was being stalked by this man who sat outside in his car. It seems you can no longer watch someone’s house even if you never approach them or intend to do them any harm. Its “stalking” which is a form of harassment. Apparently its now a criminal offence.

Going back to the stuff dumped in my bin. Builders rubble, mouldy cat food, and shitty nappies.

I still think that my neighbour A was behind all this. She doesn’t have a cat or any children but I suspect she was recruiting her friends to help out in “punishing” me. My husband and I tried going to her house and confronting to her about it and asking her to end the “bin war” but she said “You cant go about accusing people without proof. You’ve obviously got mental problems and a fetish about dustbins. ”

A rents her house and I did try to phone her landlord. He said it was a personal dispute and the tenant has done nothing to break her lease. He put the phone down on me.

Later that day the community police called. They insinuated that my husband and I were “harassing” my neighbour which is a “criminal offence”. We have been left a “police information notice” which warns us that neither I nor any member of my family must do anything to contact or annoy A, otherwise we can be arrested under the “Protection from Harrassment Act”

Ive also received a strongly worded letter from A’s solicitor headed “Letter before action”. It threatened me with legal action for harassment if I or any member of my family approaches her, tries to communicate with her or “surveils” her house. It also mentioned my “spreading malicious gossip” to her landlord. It seems that too is a form of harassment. If I want to communicate with her I have to go through the solicitor or risk legal action.

So Im now in a position where I don’t know what to do. I can’t ask my nephew or any of my relatives to park outside in case they get into trouble. CCTV is not an option for me because there is a high fence between my house and where we put the bins.

At the moment I am "hiding" in my sisters house 300 miles away. So if any more dumping incidents happen I can prove it was not me. I sneaked out of the house under cover of darkness and am feeling very tense about the idea of going back home.

OP posts:
AllyBamma · 25/04/2020 03:47

Oh my lord OP I think you can’t see the forest for the trees here. You sound completely unhinged and I can see why they think you have mental problems. You HAVE been harassing them, do you not see that?

And I’m sorry but you completely made a rod for your own back by taking her neatly bagged up rubbish out of your half empty bin! How absolutely petty if you. Does it justify what’s come afterward, I’m not sure but you have no one to blame but yourself for everything that is happening.

This whole business of roping your nephew into watching their house at night is completely bonkers. There’s a reason the police weren’t interested in why he was there, how would you like someone sat outside your house, watching and waiting? It’s absolutely mental!

I can’t believe you really said to her ‘only a tenant’, I would have told you to go where to go, do you realize how stuck up you sound?

If you came here for sympathy I think you’re going to be disappointed. I feel really sorry for your neighbour. Get your head out of your arse.

PhilCornwall1 · 25/04/2020 04:57

I didnt like her hoity toity attitude so I told her that I did not need her permission as she was "only a tenant".* A few days later there was a paper put through my door with something printed from the internet explaining that in law a tenant has more or less the same legal rights as an owner occupier to say who comes and goes on the property so long as they have a contract. I didnt know that - so I made a mistake.*

OP can I make a suggestion? Please stop dealing with problems, you have the reverse Midas touch, basically everything you touch turns to shit.

And as for hoity toity attitude, may be you want to reread this little gem in your post:

I told her that I did not need her permission as she was "only a tenant"*

No wonder she's got it in for you, but the she's far, far better at it than you. I doff my hat to her.

pippistrelle · 25/04/2020 05:16

Nice use of 'hoity toity'. But the rest is too much.

agonyauntie2020 · 25/04/2020 06:13

windup.

Mayorquimby2 · 25/04/2020 07:15

". It seems you can no longer watch someone’s house even if you never approach them or intend to do them any harm."

It's PC gone mad

Qgardens · 25/04/2020 08:38

Even I can spot this one and I'm not terribly good normally.

Justatenant · 25/04/2020 09:00

We have a neighbour just like you!

Luckily our LL knows what the neighbour can be like. He often calls us after your rants & tells me what we've 'done'.

SmokingGun · 25/04/2020 12:20

Sounds like a plot on one of those afternoon channel 5 thriller films.

Thighmageddon · 25/04/2020 12:35

Good grief, I'm a bit precious about my bins, yes I know that's a bit weird to most people, but you sound like you're barking.

If elderly neighbour who goes by the name of A needs help contacting channel 5 so you can be part of a new series of Nightmare Neighbours, just let me know and I'll contact them for her Grin

Drpeppered · 25/04/2020 15:15

You are harassing her

Redglitter · 25/04/2020 15:35

I don’t think it’s your neighbour who is the problem here

Absolutely

Sorry OP you blew it with that last post. You were getting sympathy til then. Now you just sound completely unhinged.

YE420032c · 25/04/2020 15:36

Well if you think saying to someone you are "only a tenant" is bad then her response was "you are only an immigrant" which is racist so that was far worse.

We came to this country 40 years ago with nothing. We worked hard, saved and bought a property where we brought up our family. We have nothing to be ashamed of.

Calling someone an "immigrant" is insulting but A has been clever enough never to say anything that is actually against the law. The idea that she looks down on us for being Asian just hangs in the air between us for every conversation we had. No wonder all these neighbours believe her and have got it in for us. We are the only Asians in the street and they are all white and middle class.

OP posts:
user1471442488 · 25/04/2020 15:41

It’s not racism, it’s the fact that you’re a nutter.

Thighmageddon · 25/04/2020 15:44

You don't get to start defending yourself when you do indeed look down your nose at others by this piece of evidence you've already told us about.

I didnt like her hoity toity attitude so I told her that I did not need her permission as she was "only a tenant".

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2020 16:50

Well if you think saying to someone you are "only a tenant" is bad then her response was "you are only an immigrant" which is racist so that was far worse.

Maybe she felt goaded into finding something random and different about you to counteract the folly of you first doing the same about her. There's nothing wrong with being a renter/tenant or an immigrant - they're just neutral ways of describing people who probably have many far more interesting characteristics with which to describe them.

For some reason, I'm reminded of the Simpsons episode where Flanders is raising concerns with Homer about his very antisocial behaviour and, when trying to justify himself, all that Homer can think of is "You don't hear me complaining about your.... moustache!"

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 25/04/2020 16:53

Am I alone in having no idea of whether the people in our street own or rent their homes (except for our lovely NDN, with whom we've chatted about mortgages along with loads of other topics over the years) - much less the names or contact details of their landlords or the bank with whom they have their mortgage?!

TheNewSchmoo · 25/04/2020 17:01

Ah, hoping to win the crowd back with an accusation of rascism. Give it up OP.

squeekums · 25/04/2020 17:30

Well if you think saying to someone you are "only a tenant" is bad then her response was "you are only an immigrant" which is racist so that was far worse.

You started it
What did you expect, a pat on the back and ok hun?
You insulted her, belittled her and she defended herself with the first point of difference she could find after being put on the spot.
Plus technically its not wrong to say your an immigrant, if you settle in another country its a FACT your an immigrant. My SIL is an immigrant, she is from the UK but settled in Aus.

She did not mention your race, which is when it turns to racism. If she had said you Asian this that or the other, THATS racism

bluebeck · 25/04/2020 17:32

I would move.

squeekums · 25/04/2020 17:32

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll nope, not alone, i know 1 neighbor rents, one owns from general chit chat but wouldnt have a clue who LL is or who any of them bank with or any clue about the neighbors across the road or on the right side of house

RibenaMonsoon · 25/04/2020 17:50

You sound very judgemental. There was no need to go to the lengths you did. What did you mean by "just a tenant"? Do you think you are somehow superior? Just because you worked hard for your house doesn't mean she doesn't work hard too. It's not easy to get on the property ladder these days.

Some bin locks would have been all you needed. Get some and leave her alone.

bottlenose301 · 25/04/2020 18:13

Not sure I believe a word of this.

But if it's true, why wouldn't you have got a bin lock?
You're not going to win back the neighbourhood so you either have to get on with it or move out.
You're both crap neighbours. She's probably scared to death of Covid 19 if she's alone and elderly so you'd think she won't be touching your bins anytime soon anyway.

Tini17 · 25/04/2020 18:29

Is this a wind up?
If not, you are seriously unhinged OP. And very, very judgmental with a superiority complex.

Corna · 25/04/2020 18:33

Christ the hot weather.

Tonz · 25/04/2020 19:19

😂😂😂😂

Holy shit!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread