To ask if your kids are going to grandparents?

[Tedtalk]

May have already been asked, so apologies if repeated

My next door neighbour is in her late 50s. She is now working from home. Her daughter is also working from home (not wearing work clothes) and drops her kids off to my neighbour 2/3 times weekly, sometimes stopping for a cuppa in the garden.

I'd assumed this was all allowed until someone I mentioned it to questioned it.

Can anyone clarify this for me?
Any experiences?

It's better than nursery yes

I am not sure if it is allowed but its definitely not advisable as its mixing households

No it's not allowed. I've barely seen my mum - just dropped shopping off on the doorstep a couple of times. My kids haven't seen her at all

No DH and I are both frontline keyworkers, nursery is closed, we can't use grandparents for childcare. We're having to work opposite shifts and look after DS between us and catch up on paperwork when he's asleep.

It’s not allowed. Why would anyone think it’s allowed? Mixing two households is not allowed. They obviously don’t care.

If it's childcare then it's allowed. It's none of your business anyway. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

Why are you asking....is this scenario really yours op?

Just because her daughter is wearing her own clothes doesn't mean she is not going to work. I am a key worker for the NHS, my parents watch dc as a school only open for 5 hours, I am doing 10 hour shifts. I am told not to wear uniform to travel to work. I really wish people would stop being so noisy and presuming things.

It’s not technically allowed but I know of quite a few people who are doing it.

Not my situation, nope. Stay at home mum presently hence why I wasn't sure if it was allowed under childcare.

As for not being my business, isn't this all our business if looking for clarification and to stop the spread?

Thanks for others for the helpful input, much appreciated x

My in-laws live over the road, they've only seen her from a distance, over the fence etc since lockdown.

It's not allowed as far as I'm aware as they're not members of our household, plus they keep selfishly going out... they go out by car more now than they did before!

I'm a key worker - my colleagues in the office are wearing casual clothes, not 'work clothes'.

There's also an issue of rules vs common sense. If she's a key worker who needs child care, then dropping her child to her mother (assuming the mother is not in a vulnerable catagory) involves vastly less mixing of people than taking her ti school! Plenty of key workers still need family childcare - schools do not support shift working.

I know what she does for work- she is not a keyworker. And she certainly wouldn't wear a tracksuit normally.

It's technically mixing households, but I can't get too worked up about it unless daughter is 10 and could amuse herself at home. Some key workers who have to work outside the home use grandparents, not nursery, as their regular childcare so I'm not sure what else they can do.

I wear normal clothes to work now. And its allowed if it is for childcare.

People still have to work.

She doesn’t need to be a key worker to be going to work.

Seems like it's 50/50 on here where it's allowed!

It's seems to be when it suits which is a little frustrating for many I bet.

Why do the clothes she is wearing come into it if she’s working from home? Never heard of business on top casual on bottom? She might have a ‘work’ top under the tracksuit too. Not that what she is wearing is your business.

Seriously op mind your own business. Youve literally no idea what her life entails. Maybe her mental health is poor, maybe you don’t know as much about her job as you think you do, maybe her kids have SN and she just isn’t coping, maybe she’s working from home and her boss is cracking the whip and she’s worried about her income.

It could literally be anything. She could be a cf who just doesn’t think the rules apply to her. But regardless there is nothing you can do about it so get. a. life.

From a poster who is following the rules but doesn’t feel the need to police her neighbours.

What are you going to do about it then?

This really isn’t allowed at all. Boris Johnson clearly stated that Grandparents should not be used as childcare, this is precisely why he kept schools open for key worker children.

Her daughter is also working from home (not wearing work clothes)

Our office which has a clear dress code, has decreed we can all “dress down” at the moment.

If we wear uniform they have tightened the (existing) rules about not wearing it outside work. Plus there is now the recommendation to shower after work when changing out of uniform before leaving...

So I don’t think you can make the assumption she’s working from home from her clothes...

It's not technically allowed but a lot of people are doing it. I'm one of them. I have a 2 year old and a newborn. I haven't been out of the house in 6 weeks except to occasionally drive straight to my parents. They haven't been out of the house themselves in nearly 8 weeks so we know we are all virus-free. We live rurally and only 15 mins drive apart. About once a fortnight I leave my toddler with them for the day to give me a break as I'm struggling to cope trapped at home with such young kids and exhausted from night feeds. I know I'll get flamed but it's keeping me sane and my children safe.

No it’s not allowed but people interpret the rules differently and make their own risk assessments and decide it’s preferable

Umnoway The law gives an exception for childcare. If I recall correctly Boris advised not to use grandparents as childcare if they had vulnerabilities or were over 70 (something like that)

Schools are only open to key worker children as a last resort. People are still working who are not key workers.