To ask if your kids are going to grandparents?

[Tedtalk]

May have already been asked, so apologies if repeated

My next door neighbour is in her late 50s. She is now working from home. Her daughter is also working from home (not wearing work clothes) and drops her kids off to my neighbour 2/3 times weekly, sometimes stopping for a cuppa in the garden.

I'd assumed this was all allowed until someone I mentioned it to questioned it.

Can anyone clarify this for me?
Any experiences?

My mother keeps asking to see the children. She says they can stay at the bottom of the garden etc but I know her, she is never going to be able to stay 2 metres away from her grandchildren.

You misunderstood. I’m saying yes I would have to do the 3 schools thing in that circumstance, or look at any other possible options. I wouldn’t mix households with family members.

I find it strange that you would choose a more risky option.

Not sure why you are fixating on this

I'm not fixated, i'm simply reply to your comments.

I agree @PatchworkElmer we are all making sacrifices here and there are others just carrying on as normal . My dc often went to relatives after school so did niece , they haven't seen them for 6 weeks now .
I will not be able to work until dc goes back to school , I'm furloughed but if it stops I may have to take unpaid leave or work round dh shifts but I won't be sending dc to relatives until it's allowed.
If you are a essential worker granted relatives maybe your only option if they are not school age but for everyone else no.
If you are under pressure to work you need to speak to Acas you shouldn't be sending children to relatives at all . !!

Genuine question here, are you planning to stay indoors avoiding contact with anyone from outside until the virus has completely gone? I had always assumed the plan was to slow down the burden on the NHS to a manageable amount, it looks like we’re heading that way quite quickly but the threat of catching the virus won’t go away for a long time. Even if they do get a vaccine by September, it will take an age for everyone to be vaccinated and then not everywhere will be vaccinated, you’ll always have the people against them. I’m just thinking once this eases up slightly would you then visit grandparents even if there was still a risk or are you planning on waiting until there is zero chance, which could be say, a years time?

It's not allowed. I would have have done it as our normal childcare is shut, they haven't refunded my fees and I'd have to pay a new childcare normal fees. My kids would be mixing with a lot more people at a nursery so I felt it was safer to take them to my mum once as DH and I had no childcare and he was between nights. Our kids are 3 and 4 so far too little to entertain themselves and my mum was the safest and only affordable option

This thread perfectly illustrates the lack of common sense and ability to assess risk in our population. Surely anyone old and bright enough to hold down a job can see that sending three children to three different establishments to mix with three different cohorts of other children is riskier than sending them all to non vulnerable grandparents?

I've thought of a brilliant job creation scheme for post-Covid19 UK: set up a version of the Stasi.

OP - just mind your own business, eh?

You misunderstood. I’m saying yes I would have to do the 3 schools thing in that circumstance, or look at any other possible options. I wouldn’t mix households with family members.

But that means that if you pick it up at work and your children start incubating it before you show symptoms, they will pass it around three separate communities before you realise you're ill and go into isolation. If they infect two people at each location, and each of those infects two people and each of those infects two people, you could be patient zero for a massive outbreak in your town.

Indeed Alsohuman A little bit of common sense is needed, rather than blind adherence to the rules.

On this thread, It seems that the mind your own business school of thought seems to come from those who think it's okay to mix households.

All the folk saying it's technically not allowed - you know it's not illegal, right? Childcare is one of the reasons you can travel/mix.

It’s no riskier than moving the children of separated parents between households. It just proves how completely illogical “the rules” are.

The object is to minimise opportunities for transmission. So not in the least bit illogical for these to involve as few people as can reasonably be achieved.

It would be interesting to see the relevant bit of legislation about childcare and mixing households.

It seems that the mind your own business school of thought seems to come from those who think it's okay to mix households.

Do I think it's ok to send children for dinner at Granny's just because she's missing them. - No.

Do I think it's ok to send children to Granny's because the alternative is separate childcare, and therefore a higher risk to myself and others. - Yes.

It's not a black and white situation, people need to use their common sense.

No my neither grandparents have/are seeing my Dc's.
in laws are high risk and havent seen them since early March and my parents are not high risk but I do not feel comfortable putting them in a situation where the could possibly catch it.

Have skimmed the thread can’t actually find out what everyone expects people to do with their children if they need to work out of the home and are not a key worker????

Any suggestions on where my son can go let me know

I don’t understand why people can’t just use common sense, surely sending DC to (non vulnerable) GPs for childcare is probably a lot less risky than shopping in a supermarket?

And what does it matter if you are WFH in non-work clothes’? My DH is either in shorts or gardening clothes as he WFH.

Far too many busy bodies around, I am glad my neighbours are not hanging out of their windows,, I’ve done a 90 min walk this morning, am going shopping later, volunteer with vulnerable people (rough sleepers) AND visit my elderly parents... and will probably have another short walk later.

ilovecakeandwine

Unless you are a key worker you shouldn't be sending children anywhere
We are on lockdown , you either wfh or are furloughed

Wrong. I’m not a key worker and I’m out working. Can’t work from home.

@PotholeParadise

Ok, that’s a fair point. But it must be one that the government has considered, otherwise they could be giving advice that key workers may use a designated relative ( with no underlying health conditions and under a certain age) for childcare. They haven’t done this, so they are expecting those who need to to continue to use schools for childcare when working and to attempt the contain any spread this way ( as much as possible).

I suppose if they open this up as an allowed concept then they will have so many individuals once again interpreting it to suit them - not because they have no other choice.

If it come to crunch and she had to explain herself up in court. I'm quite sure it would be seen as acceptable for children to go to their GP whos not high risk or very elderly while their mum goes to work.
Whats the alternative be up in court for neglect as she went to work leaving the kids home alone?

A great many businesses are working towards getting people back to work using social distancing, even B&Q have just reopened. So that means their staff are off furlough and expected to be back at work. Bills still need to be paid, children still need to be looked after.

It’s absolutely not true that you either WFH or are furloughed. The original guidelines clearly state ‘do not travel to work .... unless your work cannot be done from home’. And that doesn’t mean only ‘key workers’ are allowed to travel to work.

It seems that the mind your own business school of thought seems to come from those who think it's okay to mix households.

You already implied that, and since you last said it I still haven't mixed households myself.

Seems to me that the 'mind your own business' school of thought comes from people with sensible ideas about disease transmission.

*It’s no riskier than moving the children of separated parents between households. It just proves how completely illogical “the rules” are.

The object is to minimise opportunities for transmission. So not in the least bit illogical for these to involve as few people as can reasonably be achieved*

Explain to me the difference between the household of a NR parent and the household of a non vulnerable grandparent in the context of risk. It’s entirely illogical.

Crossfitwidow

Agree and interested to hear other opinions on this.

YABU. My sister is a nurse and her childcare is closed, even for key workers. My mum is looking after the DC. The alternative is my healthy, able, skilled nurse sister doesn’t work at a time when she is very much needed?! She goes to work in clothes that are slobby and probably more suited for pyjamas because she changes when she gets there. Honestly, some people need to think a bit.