Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

[Hidinginshameofthememory]

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

We had an awful neighbour's dc used to stand and watch us through our gates. Shouting and swearing at dc and being just purely obnoxious..
Few times of jet washing the yarded area and wetting the little shit soon saw him off.

Order this Mountain Lion Urine

and a water pistol.

Sneak out in the dead of night ninja style, spray trampoline generously.

They'll soon get rid of it.

Only not joking

@PlanDeRaccordement

That is quite possibly the most ludicrous, entitled and irrational 'reasoning' I've ever heard

Take a photo of her every time you see her, copy them onto sheets and post them into her house. If you were her parent it might just concern you she was being photographed but then you'd have to see that actually your dd was being a peeping tom.

I"d get a screen you can put up as well.

Some tall trees/ shrubs in pots could work. Bamboo shielding on a roll?

Say hello and wave
It makes her aware and she is probably in a trance or fascinated in others lives while trapped at home.
Some people do not realise our lives are not a tv, I will be installing a blind once the shops open as I seem to be someone's entertainment. I'm usually not home so maybe we are interesting people haha.

I think you need to just wave at her, and say do you want something, if this doesn't put her off, a no nonsense, will you please stop staring its rude !

Every time she does it go out and let her see you videoing her and say “I’ll be showing this to your mum, to let her see how rude you are”, standing staring for 20+ minutes is ridiculous, she’s 13/14, she knows it’s rude.

Maybe she's a bit lonely or your family or garden look nice to her (not that I'd like it mind!) How about tall bamboos in a pot or fake screens (on poles or canes) already suggested, but not fixed so that you can move into place when peeper shows up and move when she's not about so you dont give up your light permanently.

Right to privacy in your garden is your right. We got a climbing frame for the kids to build in our garden and had to apply for planning permission, which we happily did, to prove that it’s not overlooking our neighbours from both sides of the fence. You are not being unreasonable!

Lodge a complaint to your council supported by evidence (pictures of the intrusion)

Could you engage in a staring contest? You and your husband stood together, hands on hips. First one to blink first! Alternatively buy a lifeguards chair and put it up against your side of the fence. Your neighbours sound like tossers.

I'd spray that area of the garden with my hose every time she popped her head over. Oops

Also, as an alternative and I know that you shouldn't have to, but some trellis or wire strung along the fence and an evergreen clematis will provide great long term coverage. There's one that has massive white jasmine scented blooms and retains it's leaves all year round and absolutely grows like mad. In 6mths you'll see a difference, by next year you will be well screened. And until it has reached that point, some of that bamboo rolled stuff across your side of the fence is a cheap and easy way to provide screening and will also act as a visual reminder to your neighbours that they are annoying bastards.

A trellis extension to your fence may be required but it might be tricky if the offending fence is theirs.
I would keep confronting her and ask her what she wants. Maybe spend some time on consecutive days just watching her.
This is such a difficult situation.

Ha ha. I see that I've already been beaten to the suggestion of the Life guards chair! Failing that, a massive adult sized seasaw.

For the short term, I would take a photo of the girl (be certain she sees you, and hope it makes her uncomfortable) any time she is peering at your home or into your yard.

I would put up a very tall (9 foot) bamboo fence as a barrier. They are somewhat flimsy, but with support, will stand.

I would then plant something fast growing along the fence, preferably an evergreen.

Just shout every single time. “Stop staring at us” “it’s rude to stare please stop”. You need to do it every single time. The mum cannot complain as you are simply asking her child to stop staring. You are however reinforcing the need to stop every time. If you had the neighbours number I’d also say text the parents every time too. “Your daughters staring again I’m trying to breastfeed my baby and it’s making me uncomfortable”.

Get one of those Halloween masks and just stand by the patio door. Wooo 😅

Trunky want a bun!

I haven’t heard that phrase for at least 30 odd years 😂😂

Sorry OP but I would pluck up the courage to say please stop staring-it’s rude

She will understand that rather than the ‘can I help you?’

Most of the suggestions in this thread are sensible, though they run the risk of turning a thoughtless neighbour into a hostile neighbour.
But if the trampoline is where it is, it only requires a child, or anyone else, to bounce on the trampoline, or stand on it pretending to practice balancing, (or whatever), to make it very difficult to prove you are being deliberately stared at.
There is no real alternative to putting a trellis on top of the fence. They are not expensive, and you could persistently suggest to your neighbours that they should pay for it-that might make them see sense.

Pop a chair in the garden with a good view of the trampoline. Every time she is staring sit and stare right back. I imagine she will get uncomfortable being watched (like you are) and will either stop using it or ask her parents to move it.

I would definitely go with "I've already spoken to your mum about you STARING over the fence now clear off" loudly so perhaps her Mum will hear. Every time

I would just motion a “go away” gesture with my hands and mouth it too