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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

520 replies

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 16:39

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

OP posts:
BrokenNails · 23/04/2020 19:01

I have 2 teens and a trampoline and I deliberately placed it far away from the neighbours side so they didn't feel overlooked just for jumping/playing activity let alone staring in on purpose! YANBU.

AntiHop · 23/04/2020 19:06

Why do some people refuse to take actions that could make someone else's lives better, with little or no impact on themselves. This kind of behaviour makes me despair.

mathanxiety · 23/04/2020 19:11

Go out and talk to the daughter yourself if it's bothering you. Don't beat about the bush. Tell her to stop.

Alternatively, take photos for a few days, date and time stamped.
Send your DH around to have a word with the parents, with the photos.

If no acceptable response, put up a washing line and sling a big painter's cloth over it. Or the bamboo that AcrossthePond55 suggests (and YY to let them complain that it's blocking her view of your house and garden).

I can't believe people would think this is a matter for the LA at this time.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 23/04/2020 19:12

@Herpesfreesince03 there's a difference between being overlooked and being stared at! My garden is overlooked which I don't like but it can't be helped. It would be different if one of the neighbours was constantly staring over the fence though.

heartsonacake · 23/04/2020 19:14

YANBU. Just tell the child herself she’s not to do it, and persist in telling her off every time until she gets the message.

CCaK · 23/04/2020 19:17

Can you just politely say to her "As I've already said to your mother, I'd like you to stop staring into my garden. It's rude, and we don't like being watched. Thank you."

boylovesmeerkats · 23/04/2020 19:19

Antihop some neighbours are just dicks.

We used to have 10m length of 10m tall lleylandii blocking our whole garden and when we found out our neighbours were selling their house we offered to pay to have it all removed and they were so horrible about it you wouldn't believe. We had no sun in our garden, plants wouldn't grow and it took us threatening to go to the council that they did anything. In the end they got 75% of them cut down themselves but then asked for the money, we asked why there were still some left and they just moved out so cheaper for us I suppose and then the new neighbours took the rest out. The new neighbours aren't that nice either but they're nicer than them!

Kraejka · 23/04/2020 19:20

Can you just politely say to her "As I've already said to your mother, I'd like you to stop staring into my garden. It's rude, and we don't like being watched. Thank you."

Yes, just say that.

whiteroseredrose · 23/04/2020 19:27

My late great DGM ended up getting bags of manure and resting them just near the fence. Smelt dreadful and stopped neighbours bbqing right by her back door (and 'borrowing' her garden chairs).

PlanDeRaccordement · 23/04/2020 19:29

They can’t move it to the other side of the garden because it is next to woodland. Birds will poo all over their trampoline. This is dangerous in three ways- first bird poo has salmonella in it which can kill a child, might have avian flu, which can kill a child and it also eats away at the trampoline itself such that a child could be bouncing on it and then tear through/fall out the bottom.

I think you are being a bit precious. Many gardens are overlooked by other homes. Where neighbours can look out upstairs windows directly into your garden. Privacy is an illusion in row houses.

callmeadoctor · 23/04/2020 19:33

Bird poo can kill a child? How do I not know this?

mbosnz · 23/04/2020 19:34

Oh gosh, how precious to desire a reasonable expectation of privacy in your own home and garden.

They could shift the tramp and hose the bloody thing down (and the kid, if need be) weekly.

Somehow my kids never managed to kill themselves by disease on their tramp'. Could anyone provide statistics on how many kids have died as a result of eating or rolling in birdshit on their trampoline?

callmeadoctor · 23/04/2020 19:35

Off to google bird poo, killing children....................................!!!!

Weregoingonanadventure · 23/04/2020 19:35

@PlanDeRaccordement
Unless their garden is fuckimg huge, them birds will be flying over both sides. A handful of meters doesnt make a difference.

The girl is standing on her tiptoes staring into their house whilst she expresses milk. And you're calling her precious? How would you feel if I came round and stared in your window whilst you were topless?

callmeadoctor · 23/04/2020 19:37

Oooooh google agrees, wow, never knew!!!

TheReluctantCountess · 23/04/2020 19:38

My son's trampoline is under a tree and often has a bit of bird poo on it. I really am not worried about it.

Keepingthingsinteresting · 23/04/2020 19:44

Ask her nicely, if she carries on doing it shoot her “accidentally” with a water pistol

SeigneurLapindeGrantham · 23/04/2020 19:45

I did something similar to ToelessPobble's suggestion when I had the same problem with my next door neighbour's kids.
I had an old shower curtain which I pegged to a line I rigged up across the patio and it worked a treat.
It's horrible feeling you're under constant scrutiny, seems like the mother is being deliberately awkward by not moving the trampoline especially as it would be no skin off her nose to do so.

I

Windyatthebeach · 23/04/2020 19:48

Op you need a sprinkler kit alongside the fencing.... Set it up on spikes in the grass. Bratty Bouncer will set it off and get wet...

LouHotel · 23/04/2020 19:48

Get your own trampoline and position it exactly next to there’s on your side of the fence.

Every time she Bounces you bounce - pelvic floor permitting.

EdwinaMay · 23/04/2020 19:49

My neighbours had this but it was a smaller child.

Problem imv is that it's not much fun trampolining on your own. So it's just more interesting to gawp st neighbours than to jump about alone. Unless you're some would be gymnast.

Get some tall beanpole canes and drape fleece over them (available from online garden shops). Then she can't see and it's a bit embarrassing for her and for her parents as it's TOTALLY obvious why you had to put it up.
The canes should stick in the lawn and fleece is light so won't weigh them down.

HedgehogHotel · 23/04/2020 19:49

If it's right up against the shared fence, it's too close to the boundary and the council will support you in asking them to move it. Especially since it's being used to stand there and stare into your previously private garden and living room.

Tell them to move it or you will contact the council first thing.

PinkCrayon · 23/04/2020 19:54

I think your neighbour is really out of order here, If she didn't want to move the trampoline then she should be making sure her daughter isn't looking into your garden as you say it is very often she would have caught her by now and should have pulled her up on.
I would put something next to the fence so she couldn't see over. If telling her directly didn't work I would put a pot of bamboo or plant a eucalyptus they grow really quick.

vlnr77yac · 23/04/2020 19:58

Take a video of the girl staring onto your property, collect a few, then you have evidence if you take it up with the council /lawyer. If you do address the child which I'm not a fan of record it.

Typical though - they couldn't put it up in a way not to cause offence - that's what I HATE about the UK nowadays... someone's always ready to get into other people's faces. Why-oh-why?!

Sorka · 23/04/2020 19:59

Get a lifeguard chair and stare into their house/garden for as long as she spends staring into yours.