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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

520 replies

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 16:39

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

OP posts:
Fromthebirdsnest · 23/04/2020 21:07

We have a large garden and my little boy (he's just turned 4 ) climbs up on the borders to look over the wall but actually talks to the neighbours when they are gardening and calls over to them , they call over to.him too , they give him veggies to give to me and they give the children strawberries and things from there garden (we have.lovely neighbours) if he's there for more than 10 mins or so il move him but.They always say oh it's fine we are having a chat but if they are Sat on there patio having a glass of wine I'l move him from the wall and say not now , or if they are all being very loud we will go inside , and if I see my big 2 (11&9) talking for more than 5 /10 mins il ask them to do something else and tell not to go.talk again that day , id go mad if they were just peering ! There's times it's ok to stop and talk to neighbours but it's a while other issue stareing! , if she'd have seen me expressing then id have gone and told her mum that if it.continues i will report her as a peeping tom! Also if she's a teen go tell we off and tell her to stop day it's rude and unacceptable because it is ! X

Original poster
Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 21:25

Didn't get anywhere at tea time!

We were sat on our patio eating and she was at the fence, we ignored her at first and then I said 'sally would you mind not standing watching us when we are eating as it's quite rude to stare' and she said 'I'm allowed to play on my trampoline' I was a bit taken aback by that as i expected her to be embarrassed! I then said 'yes you go play and stop standing staring at us then'. At that point she did start bouncing and then got off. Less than 5 mins later she's back on and at the fence eating a lolly 🤦🏻‍♀️. I ignored her at first and as we were clearing up I asked her what she was looking at as it's rude to stare into other peoples gardens and homes.
I then heard her mum say 'oh sorry hidinginshame she's just playing again'!!!! I was pretty angry at that tbh as her mum has clearly been sat on their decking next to her ignoring all this and had heard me asking her to stop. I said 'she's not playing though is she? she's standing staring at us eat.' To which neighbour went in and slammed her back door ! Sally was left standing on the trampoline !

I don't know if lockdown has driven this woman mad or what!! She has always been pleasant before and I also didn't think I'd ever have an argument through a fence panel. I'm cursed with batshit neighbours it would seem.

OP posts:
happypoobum · 23/04/2020 21:30

Yeah, time for the supersoakers OP Grin

Windyatthebeach · 23/04/2020 21:30

Sprinkle bird food on it later...

mathanxiety · 23/04/2020 21:32

Clothesline, big painter's tarp. Ropes and stakes to keep it from flapping up and winding around the clothesline.

And some really loud wind chimes near her kitchen window.

TheSmelliestHouse · 23/04/2020 21:36

We had a 4 foot fence that meant some houses bedroom windows gazed straight into our garden, but it wasn't our fence. I bought tall bamboo or willow screening and fixed it up inside the fence. I think I tacked it on, which was a bit cheeky, but it was a 50 year old fence. It was wonderful to have the privacy in the garden. Suggest you get some screening and fix it up your side of their fence. Problem solved.

EatsFartsAndLeaves · 23/04/2020 21:37

Go round all flustered and give sincerest apologies that their child may have seen you having sex this morning, as you obviously were in your own home and didn't expect anyone to be looking etc...

EatsFartsAndLeaves · 23/04/2020 21:39

And if you do put up any screening, paint it badly in neon orange on their side so it looks shit Grin

Greenkit · 23/04/2020 21:41

This would do my nut in

Winter2020 · 23/04/2020 21:43

I agree with the suggestion to buy bamboo screen. Tie it or staple it high up over the fence to ensure privacy.

LonelyFromCorona · 23/04/2020 21:49

@Hidinginshameofthememory

Sorry tonight was unsuccessful. Most obvious solution is to confirm whether the fence is indeed the neighbours. If not probably can't attach. But as others have suggested, bamboo in long planters lined up against the fence will do it. Or just make your own barrier on thay stretch of fence, a couple inches away - some kind of mdf/board frame or something. You could grow some ivy or similar up it after it's built.

PatchworkElmer · 23/04/2020 21:50

@Hidinginshameofthememory flipping heck.

LonelyFromCorona · 23/04/2020 21:52

Install a couple fence posts a few inches inside from the current and 2-3 feet higher and put something like this across it? www.domondo.co.uk/garden-and-terrace/screen-fence/pvc-screen-border-13-mm/bamboo/90/300?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIlP32r7b_6AIVD7LVCh2FAQQWEAQYASABEgLux_D_BwE

Original poster
Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 21:54

Googling bamboo as we speak! Dh is going to dig out the deeds tomorrow but fairly certain the fence is theirs (we have the good side)

OP posts:
allyouneedis · 23/04/2020 21:59

Can you stand on something and stare into their house until they come and ask you why, then just tell them that’s what their Daughter is doing to you. Then if it happens again turn the hose on her.

CCaK · 23/04/2020 22:00

Give the little cow a good cold hose down op. Grin

frustratedmother101 · 23/04/2020 22:03

She sounds like my neighbour who is a total pain in the arse, buy some blinds thats what we had to do 🙄

Highfivemum · 23/04/2020 22:05

You may find she will speak to her DC tonight about it. It’s sad when neighbours can’t be thoughtful too each other. I Have had neighbours from hell in the past. One neighbours child used to throw his ball over all the time and I mean all the time. He would go out and throw it over. This would continue and continue all day . I spoke to parents and they were rude I tried to speak to the child and he just said nothing. I stopped throwing the ball back and he would scream and then they would scream. It was awful. Sounds silly but it affected my life. We actually moved house in the end. !! I think the bamboo is a great Idea. It looks good too. Good luck 👍

ChipsyChopsy · 23/04/2020 22:13

I'd guess, if you have the good side, then it's yours. At least I always presume my neighbour owns our fence as we have the crap side!

Gemma2019 · 23/04/2020 22:15

How infuriating. We had two summers of hell before the kids next door outgrew their trampoline. I used to get so upset when we were eating dinner or just chatting and you would glance up and see faces looking directly at you. We never resolved it as there was nowhere else in their garden for it to go. It's really disgusting that your neighbour could move theirs but won't.

cstaff · 23/04/2020 22:20

Well you can see where the child gets her bad manners from. Obviously her mam didn't say a word to her dd about how rude she was staring over the fence all day but she didn't like being pulled up on it by you either.

Maybe after this evening she will realise that you mean business and will get her and her dd arse in gear and this will all go away tomorrow...and they all lived happily ever after.

ENID BLYTHON

MrMeSeeks · 23/04/2020 22:22

Sprinklers, or hose. Water the garden every time the nosey so and so stares at you Grin

Boredinthehouse · 23/04/2020 22:22

I know this is a long shot & you shouldn’t have to. But can you erect a shed there?

That’s what we had to do (but we actually needed a shed) ....... And also wait patiently for a winter storm.

shrill · 23/04/2020 22:25

I would get the sheet nailed up some how for tomorrow in the hope that she will get bored and stop so you could take it down again. Do you have a large sun umbrella you could place in the way? Failing that I think add the horse manure sack (as soonas you can) placed so it wafts up to the trampoline. Obviously the parents are glad you're keeping their child entertained - so ignorant!

bloodyhellsbellsx · 23/04/2020 22:29

Oh god I would a male very obvious temporary shield, like the sheet and sticks someone up thread posted, to give you privacy and so the parents realise you’re serious. And then I’d be working out what I can put up in the longterm!

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