Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

[Hidinginshameofthememory]

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

You just need to be more direct with the girl. Saying hello or asking if she wants something is not sufficient.

When she does it again just tell her it is rude to stare into some else's garden or house, please stop doing it.

Get a ladder against the fence and stare into their house.

I can't think of a reason why a teenage girl would do this.
Maybe she is hoping you will invite her round to see the baby?

You can’t wander round your house naked. It’s still indecent exposure unless you reasonably thought you weren’t visible, e.g. curtains were closed or you have frosted glass. You definitely can’t wander round your garden naked. I say this from experience - my ex neighbour was accused of paedophilia for constantly being naked where a neighbour’s child could see through the window.

I sympathize! Many years ago I had a neighbour who's son used to sit in his treehouse with a pair of binoculars peering into our bedroom. We got net curtains and he stopped. (He's now a respected academic with a PhD)

If he can't see anything, he'll soon get fed up.

Role reversal - Get a step ladder and stand on it looking into their garden/house.

I wonder if it's possible she fancies your husband. As a young teen I had a bit of a crush on the guy whose house backed onto ours. I used to gawp out of the window at him in his garden. That said, I presumed he couldn't see me and would have died if he'd asked me to stop staring!

Oh that would piss me off. I wouldn't be able to not say something.

Then I would erect something ghastly on the fence, I don't care if it's theirs.

Could you get some of that brushwood fencing and put it up in the area near the trampoline to hide your house from their garden? Otherwise if I saw her staring I would march right out and up to the fence and ask her why she is being so nosey!

Could you do something outrageous (but still decent) in the garden which would make the mother take her in??

Instead (or as well as ) my sensible escalation steps, you could always print off the council’s guidance on this issue in massive font, stick it to a bit of cardboard and attach it to the top of the fence.

Yeah that would piss me off but I expected you to say about 6 or 7 not early teens so she's old enough to know better .
She may have some special needs but then her mum would of mentioned that when you called or she's just a nosey sod .
It may be the dog she likes but you need privacy. It seams to me you say can I help you each time or you speak to her and say please can you not stop looking over the fence she's a teen so she'll understand. She's not little kid , if it's the dog she's looking at just maybe say after social distancing you can come and see the dog . The kid is probably board hence the trampoline.

Even if it is their fence, I'd screw bamboo screening to it or tie it on if that's possible to whatever height & width is necessary. Let them complain to you that the screening is blocking their child's view of your garden.

Or google 'garden planter with trellis' and see if that's tall enough to block the view.

stand with hands on hips & glare back mouthing but not saying out loud rude comments - or get very bright light (not laser don't want to damage eyes) & shine it into the dc face
(yep lock down is getting to me - especially when it looks like it might be endless)

You've got the right approach just now. Tell her every single damn time, and write it down. Write down that she was staring whilst you were expressing/exercising/whatever and that you told her to stop. When you get to 5 or so times, go and speak to her parents. See what they do and keep writing it down. Then go to the council.

You really shouldn't feel uncomfortable in your own home.

Net curtains are your friend!

Put up a washing line with a large sheet on it, prop it high up and that will block the stares.

I would hate this! And be absolutely mortified if a neighbour ever said anything to me, I'd stop the DC immediately!

People are so weird!

Oh yes. Definately go with @ Fedupandpoor. I think that's brilliant. I'd love to do that. Unfortunately my mouth would have already run away with me and I would've made it very clear to both kid and parents that it wasn't acceptable.

Could you go to the front of their house and stare through their window for half an hour? Tell them why when they ask. Also, mention that you're topless half the time so can't be responsible for what the DD sees...

Do the parents spend time in the garden?
If they do, put a step ladder by the fence and stare over at them. Tell them you don't have a teenager to stare over the fence at them but as you didn't want them to miss out on the experience of being stared at in the privacy of their home and garden, you decided to do it yourself for them.
Even if not in the garden look to see when they're in a room near the garden and stare in at them.

You need to get a rubber knife, some fake blood, a tarpaulin and rope.

“Murder” DH while she watches than create a “body” wrapped and tied in the tarpaulin and put it where she can see it in the garden.

Oh please do what @BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou said!

I thought this was going to be yet another one of those threads moaning about kids playing in their gardens and was ready to tell you WBU. As it it UADNBU. I would just stare back, and if that didn't work just go outside and ask her outright what she's staring at. she really should know better at her age.

I'd take pictures every time and send them to her parents. Failing that I'd put chairs up at the fence and both of you look into their house all day long, make sure they can see you are taking notes.

Seriously what kind of weirdo's don't just move the trampoline