Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

520 replies

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 16:39

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

OP posts:
JemimaPuddleCat · 23/04/2020 17:55

@Devlesko Thu 23-Apr-20 17:17:50
I'm a bit Confused as to why you can't easily sort this.

I'm a bit Confused as to why you are always so rude and confrontational. Are u ok hun?

mogloveseggs · 23/04/2020 17:56

Get a sprinkler and set it off when she looks over Grin

bloodyhellsbellsx · 23/04/2020 17:57

These are so funny 🤣 and quite unmumsnetty when children in their own garden can do as they like 🤣🤣
Death stare and super soaker get my vote!

Original poster
Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 18:01

About to go have tea now (bbq!) I have my plan of action at the ready (to tell her not to stare and that I've spoken to mum) 🤞

If not then I'll have to buy a Halloween outfit, super soaker, sprinkler and trellis on my next essential shop and go from there 😂

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 23/04/2020 18:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RandomMess · 23/04/2020 18:02

Get your step ladders out and stare into their house when the Mum is around to be viewed by you...

boylovesmeerkats · 23/04/2020 18:02

Is it really odd behaviour? As a teenager I was always wondering what other houses and families were like, I suppose I didn't stare inside other people's houses but back then people didn't have glass along the whole back of their house like today. Is their whole garden flat? We don't have a trampoline but there are few very flat bits in our garden. We can all see into each others houses a bit, our neighbours garden is higher than ours as we're on a slope so I'm sure that throughout the day they can see into our kitchen and dining room, from their ridiculous extension they can see into our kids bedroom from their kitchen and vice versa. I wouldn't exercise outside unless I wanted to be seen.

GreenFairy246 · 23/04/2020 18:02

I feel your pain, my neighbours and their older teenagers stare into my house, I end up closing the door and the curtains. I don't understand why people think this is OK!

Fedupandpoor · 23/04/2020 18:02

Take a picture of her staring, print it onto a big bit of card then hold it up every time she looks over. Or stick it to some mdf and nail it to the fence in her line of sight.

boylovesmeerkats · 23/04/2020 18:03

Also our neighbours have a climbing frame that looks into our garden and the other way around. I think you just have to accept that you have neighbours. She'll get bored and I almost guarantee your kids will annoy the neighbours at some point too so don't dish out what you can't take!

Ezira · 23/04/2020 18:04

You do have rights here. Causing a nuisance and interfering with quiet enjoyment of your property is not permitted. Contact the council, log every incident and photograph. The council can issue an order against the neighbour. But you’d then have to disclose this if you sell the house. Personally I’d just put up a high fence.

TheReluctantCountess · 23/04/2020 18:04

I’m eagerly awaiting an update now.

BestOption · 23/04/2020 18:05

Awww bless I'm feeling sorry for the poor kid now.

When you're on a trampoline it's fun to be able to see things you haven't been able to before and you have to look somewhere when you're bouncing 🤷🏻‍♀️

You have a dog & a baby and the two of you at home, your movement attracts her attention. I don't suppose she thinks 'right I'll go and gawp at the neighbours for a bit' she just goes on her new trampoline and gets attracted by the movement in your house/garden

Her parents should move the trampoline, but I wouldn't be annoyed with the kid.

ExhaustedGrinch · 23/04/2020 18:06

Stare back at her until she breaks eye contact and then bounce around the garden shouting "I WIN, I WIN".

Or you need to put curtains up and peer at her from behind them, but in a really obvious way. You could just hide behind the shed or something else in the garden and do the same thing.

Original poster
Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 18:06

@boylovesmeerkats dh definitely doesn't want to be seen 😂 he won't do it in the house in case I see him! He's a bit self conscious, our top 3/4 garden isn't overlooked as the houses are staggered and aren't all the same design. I can see none of my neighbours on the rights garden and maybe the bottom of the neighbours on the left if I was to look out the upstairs window.

OP posts:
Londonsuffolkmummy · 23/04/2020 18:06

Maybe her mother tells her to do it..

TheReluctantCountess · 23/04/2020 18:06

But she’s not bouncing.

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 23/04/2020 18:07

Start keeping a log of when this is happening. You’ll need it if you have to go to the council. You could escalate like you would with a toddler:

1st offence: Tell her in a very straightforward way that staring is rude and she must stop.

2nd offence: Tell her again that staring is rude and if she keeps doing it you will tell her parents.

3rd offence: Tell her that she is staring, you have told her to stop and now you are going to tell her parents. Then go round immediately and start the second phase of escalation:

4: Ask them to stop their daughter from staring into your house and garden. Explain that you are finding it instructive and about your DH exercising and you expressing.

5: If they are rude, or if the staring continues, tell them so. You are entitled to the private enjoyment of your property. If the intrusion continues then you will involve the council.

6: If it still continues, report it to the council and ask for their help. Share your log with them and keep it up to date. Yes, they are busy but it’s still their job.

mbosnz · 23/04/2020 18:07

Yes, it is very weird and rude behaviour. My kids trampoline was placed specifically so as not to have neighbours feeling intruded upon, and they were instructed in the art of keeping their eyes front, and not shrieking so much as to be annoying.

(Ironically some neighbours specifically then asked them if they could keep an eye on their property while they were away, because they could see it from the trampoline, if we just shifted it a little. . .)

SeasonallySnowyPeasant · 23/04/2020 18:07

Intrusive, not instructive!

YorkshirePud1 · 23/04/2020 18:09

The idea soo OK me one had of you getting a stepladder and staring over the fence into their garden really tickled me.

I also think if having another word with the girl doesn't work, take a photo every time she does it so you can show her mum just how frequent it is. She probably doesn't realise how much she's doing it and how long for, and maybe thinks you've overreacted. I'd also feel really uncomfortable with the staring, it's pretty weird.

YorkshirePud1 · 23/04/2020 18:09

*the idea someone had (stupid phone)

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 23/04/2020 18:10

Tell her your DH thinks she's got a crush on him. That should send her indoors.

Beautiful3 · 23/04/2020 18:12

Why not put a sheet of bamboo up? You can get tall pieces on rolls. They look pretty and don't affect the fence.

Ilovemypantry · 23/04/2020 18:14

Think you definitely need to extend the height of the fence in some way, that will put a stop to it