Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

[Hidinginshameofthememory]

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

this Would drive me mad, it’s not the kid playing it’s the freaky just staring into your house. Very very odd.

Accidentally squirt her with the hose

I used to have the same problem when I lived in a n upstairsflat. Downstairs' teens always stared if I went in my garden. I used to have a little chat but could never get any space and it got a bit too much as it was constant. I used to hang a sheet on the washing line which went that way across the garden and hide behind it. A short washing line with poles across that small part of the garden will solve the problem. You can hang whatever you want on it, like neoprene which should not go nasty if it rains. Job done.

get a large camera (eg an ipad) and record her staring at you.

You can't say to a child ' do you need something' as that's quite passive yet loaded and requires quite a high level of awareness and social understanding. You need to be specific and direct but friendly. And repeat every time.

I don’t understand why people insist on putting their trampolines right up alongside fences with neighbours knowing that the poor neighbours will very likely lose any privacy and enjoyment of their garden that they may of had.

Why should others suffer just because you want a trampoline

Water pistol

I would send DH round! It's pathetic, but your neighbour sounds like the type more likely to respond to a male request. Ask him to be as rude direct as he feels will either get them to rein in their daughter or move the trampoline.

Super soaker 500.

I'm with the PPs who say you and your DH should wander round naked. That's what I'd do!

I’d also go and knock again, and again if you have to. I don’t think any of us would be comfortable with that. If my neighbour said that I’d move it straight away. Sorry if it’s not to their liking if it’s moved but tough

Could you buy/borrow a cheap gazebo or a tilting garden umbrella? Would that block her line of sight? (No trampolines round here to judge this).

Or maybe pop a washing line 4 ft away from the fence (and pop a spare sheet and towels on it).

That's the thing the rest of their garden is just grass ! They have nothing but the trampoline in it so could easily move it if they can't stop her staring 🤷🏻‍♀️

It’s really odd behaviour from a child of her age. I wonder does she have a crush on your husband😊. Or she is fascinated by you all because you are younger and have a cute baby.

I doubt it will last long, but definitely say please stop staring at us each time.

CV hasn't slackened laws afaik....
They are breaking one...
Maybe the LA will welcome a change of complaint....
And no you can't attach something on their fence.

This isn't normal for a teenager more a younger child. I'd have to say to her. Did you know your staring at us a lot, It's rude to stare. If she carries on you or DH will have to go back round.

Every time she stands and stares, stand and stare back at her. Don't say anything just stare. It'll be a challenge to hold your nerve against her but she might take the hint!

And don't ask her if you can help or if she wants anything if you do talk. That's giving her the chance to say she's just playing on the trampoline. You need to be firmer and tell her it's rude to stare and you don't like her looking in to your garden or house

I think there is a difference between casually glancing around when bouncing and actually standing staring. Its probably quite hard not to look into others gardens when she is out there alone but that doesn't give her the right to stand staring into your house. I'd go with walking around semi naked to embarrass her into stopping or if not popping your head out whilst asking 'How can I help you? You keep staring at me' every single time. Hopefully either of these will get the message across or she'll tire of the trampoline if its fairly new.

I'd try the Mum again and say that we're all bored in lockdown so you and dh are reigniting the passion in your relationship and sh*gging all over the house and wouldn't want their dd to see :)

having similar age kids - take DH's photo (with her in the background) this will annoy her as her eyebrows won't be right.... snog - kids are repulsed by snogging but would really suggest to wander naked....

This is where you need an older (toddler) age child. DS would be all over this- “What that lady doing, Mummy?.... Why is she staring?... Why don’t you know why, Mummy?... WHY IS SHE STARING, MUMMY?!?!?!”

I would speak to the mother again and make it clear there is a problem. If you have her staring into your house when you are expressing then that is not on. Perhaps if the mother knew this then it would stop.

I think the direct approach is needed, but I wouldn’t say “it’s rude to stare” just yet. It opens up the chance for the mum to have a go and say you called her child rude.
I think you should just ask her to stop staring over the fence.

Dh just pointed out if she keeps doing it I'm planning a home birth with our next baby and that will definitely terrify her 🙄🤣

We had a similar situation with a trampoline starer and my DH just stood and stared back with his Really Pissed Off face, arms folded. They moved the trampoline almost immediately. Maybe I could lend him to you for the day?