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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

520 replies

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 16:39

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

OP posts:
ponchek · 23/04/2020 22:33

Washing line.

Or just direct:

Hi sorry would you mind not looking at us all the time as we don't like it?

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 23/04/2020 22:34

God this kid has a brass neck. You have to put something up to block her.

TheReluctantCountess · 23/04/2020 22:36

What a little madam!

I like the manure idea.

Daisiest · 23/04/2020 22:39

Just go up to their fence and stare back Ito their garden, not at her, just the garden and don't stop until she does.

Do it every single time.

RebelWhoWashesFor19Seconds · 23/04/2020 22:43

I'm seconding the huge ugly sheet draped over a washing line or some sort of frame. Attach nothing to their fence though.

Make it really obvious.

Also, take pictures or videos of the creepy staring just in case.

The mum is clearly obnoxious but is there a dad there? Perhaps he wouldn't be very happy with what his daughter is doing. If there's a dad there, could he be more reasonable.

indemMUND · 23/04/2020 22:44

Nope. I'd be breaking out the hose every time until a trellis could be put in place. With blackout material on your side.

Blackandgreenteas · 23/04/2020 22:47

Obviously the parents are glad you're keeping their child entertained - so ignorant!

This is what I think - they’ll be glad that watching you is keeping her quiet and entertained! That’s why she slammed inside - it was a better option than parenting her child.

PumpkinP · 23/04/2020 22:59

I use the have this, I live in a gf maisonette and have neighbours above, literally without fail every time I went into the garden I would hear their window creak open and they would just stand there staring down at us!! They use to sing occasionally as I would ignore them, I assumed it was an attention seeking thing because I wouldn’t look up at them so they would sing so I knew they were there. I was clearly deliberate as they weren’t ever out first they would only open the window and do it within minutes of me being out. It was so annoying, I was glad when they moved.

Charmatt · 23/04/2020 23:31

She is causing 'loss of amenity to you' and the council can intervene if you show them evidence. Your privacy in your back garden is your amenity. It's a panning term.

RabidChinchilla · 23/04/2020 23:47

Has she some manner of learning difficulty? Most teens have enough social awareness to not stand and gawp.

BlueChangling · 23/04/2020 23:51

Some of these responses have me wetting myself Grin I really must practice my kegels

oncemorewithfeeling99 · 23/04/2020 23:55

Shock I’m surprised by how brazen she is!

Nottherealslimshady · 24/04/2020 00:06

Agree with putting up some bamboo fencing or something to blocker her view and paint it some horrible colour on their side. And if she complains then remind her than it's her nosey kid watching you in your home that caused it.

ThatWasThat · 24/04/2020 00:18

I have child at that age who, especially at this time of social isolation, would be delighted to be able to watch small children and their toing and froing, and would be captured by a glimpse of other people going about their business. They are really missing other humans.

Don't speak to the kid, go back to the parents and get the trampoline moved (and I say this as someone who appreciates that bedding down a trampoline takes a bit of effort)

ColdCottage · 24/04/2020 00:34

I'd film her every time she does it, ideally showing your DH phone with the date and time on during each video then show that to her mum.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 24/04/2020 00:38

Sally what do you want?
Nothing
Then go away, its rude to stare

CrotchetyQuaver · 24/04/2020 00:51

I'd just keep on with go away and stop staring at us in loud clear tones every time she does it. No need for please or explanations, the kid knows what she's doing. Let her mother get fed up of hearing it.

I'd be quite tempted to accidentally fire the hose at her too if it carries on....

standing on your ladders and acting like weirdos staring into their house and garden whilst mums out there is also a good idea.

FlamedToACrisp · 24/04/2020 01:04

Absolutely gobsmacked to hear so many of you suggesting repeatedly photographing someone else's child! You can't think of any way that habit might backfire?

Definitely put up the screen, but don't waste your time complaining to your neighbour. It's probably the only time she gets some peace.

NotMyFinestMoment · 24/04/2020 01:13

Take SEVERAL photographs/videos of their daughter looking over the fence (which are date and time stamped on different dates) and then ask the parents in a formal letter (which you keep a copy of and which refers to your previous request about the same issue) and enclose with the letter, copies of the photos/videos and then insist they immediately move the trampoline away from the fence because you are finding this ongoing behaviour intrusive and totally unacceptable, warn them that if they don't take immediate action then you will have to consider taking this matter further. It is possible once she has her photograph taken, she may feel embarrassed/caught out and then stop herself without the need for you to escalate things to a formal letter.

MummytoCSJH · 24/04/2020 01:15

@Flamedtoacrisp so what? That doesn't trump OP's right to privacy. Call the local authority OP. They might be busy/only have skeleton staff but it's still their job to enforce and it's clearly affecting your life. What a cheeky cow!

theschoolonthehill · 24/04/2020 01:16

Could you get a couple of stepladders, put them up on your side of the fence, and you and your DH stand atop each one, staring into your neighbour's house, silently?

This! I just love the word silently at the end. I haven't laughed all day and this just cracked me up. :)

Ifeelinclined · 24/04/2020 01:30

*Absolutely gobsmacked to hear so many of you suggesting repeatedly photographing someone else's child! You can't think of any way that habit might backfire?

Definitely put up the screen, but don't waste your time complaining to your neighbour. It's probably the only time she gets some peace.*

It's not the OP's responsibility to give the neighbor any peace from her kid! The daughter is being intrusive and inappropriate. The mother needs to stop it. Photographing the daughter is about the only way the OP can prove the inappropriate behavior.

therona · 24/04/2020 01:41

ThatWasThat how is OP meant to "get the trampoline moved" when her neighbours have already refused?

carriebreadshaw · 24/04/2020 03:36

Does she have a crush on your DH?

MamaFrey29 · 24/04/2020 04:08

'Walk around naked and wave' 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣