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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?

520 replies

Hidinginshameofthememory · 23/04/2020 16:39

Our neighbours have put up a trampoline this week, no issue with kids playing in the garden as I think it's nice to hear and my own child and family children are out in our garden most days weather permitting (just mine now!). They are the last house on the row so share a fence with us but the other side of their garden is onto woodland. The trampoline is right up against the shared fence. When it went up I didn't think too much of it to be honest but then on Monday we were sat in the conservatory having breakfast and noticed their older child (early teens maybe?) was stood on the trampoline looking into our house. I felt a bit uncomfortable as we were all in our pjs (not indecent but still I felt a bit 😳). Anyway this has happened a few times since, she can also see into our living room so when I'm sat playing with my baby on the floor/ watching tv etc I've looked up a few times to see her peering in. I know she's not really doing any harm per se but im finding it very intrusive. Dh usually does a workout in the garden every morning in just his shorts, the last two mornings he has come inside as the girl was there at the fence and he didn't feel comfortable.

Because of all this I went round to next door and knocked (then stood at the gate before I get flamed!). I've always got on fine with these neighbours but we haven't really had much interaction. I asked politely if there was any chance they could move the trampoline as their daughter could see into our house/garden and we were finding it a bit intrusive. I think I kept it quite friendly, wasn't rude or anything. Long story short neighbour said she would speak to her daughter but she won't move the trampoline as they like the garden setup as it is now. Their garden is huge, they could easily move it to the other side and it would affect no one. But I thought okay she will speak to her daughter and issue will be over.

Unfortunately either she hasn't spoken to her or the daughter has ignored her completely. It's happened a few times since and I've just been sat expressing and looked up to see a pair of eyes at the fence again. I've had to get up and come upstairs. AIBU ?? I know it's their garden but I just would like to be able to walk round and use my own house without having to watch what I'm doing or feel like I'm being watched.

OP posts:
MamaFrey29 · 24/04/2020 04:10

Maybe she fancies your husband! Crush?!

MamaFrey29 · 24/04/2020 04:14

Just shout 'Trunky want a bun?!' at her and give her the finger and stop worrying about being VIOLATED.*
*
🤣🤣🤣*
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I'm lying in bed giggling away at these responses. Best thread ever. Thanks so much for posting this.

Sorry op, it's really shit. I'd go back round or ask her directly.

If all else fails, have sex in the lounge!

MamaFrey29 · 24/04/2020 04:15

My husband just told me to stop giggling as I'll wake the baby.

🤣🤣🤣

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 24/04/2020 04:34

agree with the F off poster suggestion.
Video her when she does it, make it really obvious that you're doing it. Better than a photo, as it demonstrates it's not a split second thing.
Show it to the parents/use in complaint to council/name and shame on local facebook/whatsapp group.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 24/04/2020 04:44

Agree with putting up some bamboo fencing or something to blocker her view and paint it some horrible colour on their side. And if she complains then remind her than it's her nosey kid watching you in your home that caused it.

Yes, but there's no need to go down the route of painting it lurid pink, though.

Not when you can pop down to Snappy Snaps and order a super mega jumbo (in the trade it's known as 'Bishop Brennan size') canvas of this to stick over it. Also has the benefit of permanently staring proactively at her, even when she wasn't going to do so herself!

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?
Planetzog · 24/04/2020 05:57

The mother is a selfish cheeky fucker. She's obviously told the daughter that you're making a fuss about nothing and to ignore you. My 12 year old daughter would never do this, it's not normal. I would send my DH round to have a word - best to show a united front.

PerkyPomPoms · 24/04/2020 06:53

You definitely need a screen of some sort

KatherineJaneway · 24/04/2020 07:12

Can you find out her favourite singer?

"Harry Stlyes hates nosey girls"

Might work a treat!

sassbott · 24/04/2020 07:19

OP.

This is your neighbour. Who until this appears to have been fine. It would be a real shame to fall out/ create hostility.

It’s incredibly intrusive and rude, I too would be deeply unhappy in your shoes.

But I would email your council today and see what they advise/ whether they can help. You do have a right to privacy in your garden. If they can help, then do as they say and let them do their job.

If they cannot, then I would pop a note / have a word with the neighbour Restating that you are finding the child’s behaviour intrusive and that you would really appreciate her reconsidering moving the trampoline. Otherwise you will erect barriers on your side to shield the view.

I will say that I think this lockdown is putting a lot of people under severe stress. Try not to increase the hostility. You have to live next door to her, the posters on here telling you to soak the child/ vandalise the trampoline (terrible advice), don’t have to live next to her.

SweetMarmalade · 24/04/2020 07:47

Buy a bigger trampoline and put it adjacent to theirs, then get your dh to do his morning exercise on there while staring into their house! GrinWink

Queenoftheashes · 24/04/2020 07:50

^^ ideally with his knob out

SweetMarmalade · 24/04/2020 07:53

@Queenoftheashes yes! Grin

SweetMarmalade · 24/04/2020 08:07

It beggars belief that even though the Mum knows her dd is doing this and not just playing, she’s not telling her off for it, she’s allowing her to do it! Strange!

redwoodmazza · 24/04/2020 08:15

Can you attach some close weave netting/fabric onto long poles and put them next to the fence so the netting obscures her view into your garden/house? This wouldn't be a permanent fixture - stick them in large planters maybe?

averythinline · 24/04/2020 08:29

whatever you do don't plant real bamboo! its a nightmare.... either in pots/troughs..
I would call her out every time and a screen up... preferably ugly on their side....
she is probably bored but that is not your problem....

GloriousGoosebumps · 24/04/2020 08:34

This scenario would drive me mad.
Have you seen the Sail Shade Awnings for gardens? They're designed to be positioned at an angle but there's nothing to stop you having it vertical with the pointed end closest to the ground and the widest area blocking her view of your garden. You could have it on a pully system and then have the sail up or down depending on whether the girl is on the trampoline or not.

Neighbours trampoline AIBU?
ScreamedAtTheMichelangelo · 24/04/2020 08:36

Clearly the solution is to get your own trampoline and you and DH do the same thing back.

Itwasntme1 · 24/04/2020 08:41

Can you ask her why she is looking into your garden?

At that age most kids would be embarrassed to be called out. Try and have a conversation, explain it’s really bothering you and ask why she keeps staring at you all?

Many years Some Neighbour kids kept vandalising my fence. I walked up to them and explained it was really expensive for me to replace and it really upset me to see their writing all over it.

They were pre teen and lived on my street. They didn’t say much, but I replaced the fence panel the next day and they didn’t write on it,

Contactlenses123 · 24/04/2020 08:46

@itwasntme1 RTFT

RandomMess · 24/04/2020 08:47

I actually think going around and ringing the door bell repeatedly every time it's happening would get to the neighbours the most...

SlightlyHassled · 24/04/2020 08:54

One thing that might help if you have to speak to either the mother or the daughter again is to emphasise what you would be happy with. So you can say, "Obviously bouncing facing into your garden is fine; what makes me uncomfortable is when she is bouncing facing our garden and staring at us."

It's more of a positive message and makes it clear you don't think the problem is her being on the trampoline per se. It gives her a clear and reasonable behaviour to cultivate, and means she can't use the excuse, "I'm only bouncing on the trampoline" while jumping and staring straight into your garden.

WilmaPantry · 24/04/2020 08:56

That would really really get to me. I am WFH and the NDN's kid has a noisy toy which is driving me insane.

Have you thought about attaching window film to your windows so at least she can't see inside but you still have light and don't have to draw your curtains? It's quite cheap.

OR...
A motion operated security light pointing straight in her retinas?

YinuCeatleAyru · 24/04/2020 09:10

print out some large banners which would be invisible to anyone standing at ground level but will be clearly visible to the child standing on the trampoline, saying something like "you are being rude and nosy and horrible. stop it now"

TheReluctantCountess · 24/04/2020 09:18

Has she reappeared at the fence this morning yet?

WhenItIsOver · 24/04/2020 09:31

Get one of these and hang it in front of where she stares.

www.cafepress.com/+fuck-off+bed-and-bath