To think I shouldn't be named and shamed for not clapping

[Aberforthsgoat]

I clapped originally and it was lovely and everyone turned out for it here
Last week, after a rough night with DS I fell asleep after he went down and missed the clapping
A post went on our community Facebook group actually naming and shaming me.
I was mortified. The post said everyone else turned out and I showed the street up and if I can't spend a minute showing my appreciation I don't deserve to use the NHS if I or my family get ill
I ignored it at the time but I can't get it out of my head it's really upset me.

I had a note shoved under the door of my flat last week asking why I never came out to clap and I needed to support the key workers ... as it was unsigned I dont know which of my neighbours left the note so instead of responding privately I just stuck their letter to my front door when I left for work on Friday with a note saying: "Sorry I'm not clapping with you here at 8pm but I dont finish work until 10pm, so if you want to see me clapping, you'll have to come and do your shopping in on Thursday evenings."

By the time I came home on Friday evening both notes had mysteriously disappeared so hopefully one of my neighbours learnt why assumptions are not always fact.

I'm so glad this hasn't taken off in our town.
Seems to bring out the real nutcases
Posting on fb and notes under the door, like Wtaf?

I haven't clapped as I work evenings (online from home, always have, not due to CV)
Fortunately I don't live in a village with attitudes like this.
It says everything about them OP, not about you.
I'd have to reply,, then rise above it.

It's all getting a bit North Korea. No one wants to be the first one to stop clapping as they will be reported for not clapping long enough.

Never clapped, never will. It’s turning into a cult.

It's absolutely ridiculous and very unpleasant for you, OP. Where I live most people don't clap. I go out and do so but am absolutely fine with those who don't. I can't judge what everyone else is doing at 8 p.m.! I'm sure each person has their own reasons for not doing so, perhaps they are busy, forgot, are ill, too frail, don't agree with it, etc. As it should be! We are all different and people shouldn't be pressurised into complying. We are not lemmings!

I think I would have to reply so that they don't think that they were right in what they did.

There is someone next door at the end stage of cancer. I don't feel like clapping and whooping knowing the pain he is in and his wife's unhappiness.

Honestly its just a clap, I'm nhs and don't bother myself (our neighbours did firs time and havent since!). There are better ways to support the nhs

the clapping does bring people together for those couple of minutes, and round here the children in particular look forward to it and very much enjoy it and some are allowed to stay up late to participate. So I quite like the clapping - but in no way, shape or form should anyone feel compelled or obliged to take part and naming and shaming is disgraceful.

Haven't heard any clapping here but the drs and dentists keep having family to visit!

The clapping always coincides with putting my son to bed so I haven't done it once. Didn't realise that was an issue!

My neighbour knocked on our bloody door last week, set the dogs off barking, woke my youngest up, to ask if we were coming out to clap. She got a sharp 'no' and he shut the door.

I was fuming, my dh had just gut back from a 14 hr shift, part of which was to deliver and set up part of a temporary morgue I'm also still working and supporting several GP surgeries. I won't be clapping now, I feel we support in other ways and clapping has now just become something you do and fuck all to do with the nhs

I would be tempted not to clap today, and if they post again to say that last week you were with your sick child in bed, and this week, after being shamed for not doing something you had 0 intention of joining in. Ruins the “community spirit” a little doesn’t it?!

For God's sake, no, you have every right not to join in the clapping, even if you don't fall asleep. Who the hell do these people think they are? It's a free country, well, it used to be. It's called enjoying liberty. It's the difference between us and some totalitarian hellhole where people are forced to hold the same views and encouraged to inform on each other.

I think this whole think has become a bit sinister. I'd like to put a sign up in the window saying 'We support the NHS by not smoking, taking exercise and looking after our health', and leave it at that. The number of people with really overweight kids, the number of my neighbours who stand
and smoke cigarettes while out doing the clapping makes me laugh really.

Urgh tell them to get fucked OP.

I'm a frontline NHS worker and I hate the clapping, I think I can understand the idea behind it but 🤷‍♀️

You don't have to explain your behaviour to anyone. Least of the all self appointed do-gooders

I think it'd be better at this point if everyone stood on their doorsteps at an agreed time, banging pots and pans and demanding contact tracing and testing. It's lovely that we all support the NHS, but think how unburden they'd be right now if there were proper tracing methods in place.

My little ones are in bed by 7pm each night - we clapped the first night and then my next door neighbour (consultant at the local hospital) put notes through all of our doors - we're a cul-de-sac of just a few houses saying she really appreciated the support as does most of the NHS but she would really appreciate the sleep for her and her children more if we wouldn't mind either not clapping, or moving onto the main street in a safe social distance space to clap there where it wouldn't disturb them.

We've not clapped since, but we've got a pic each of clapping hands in our front window that I got the kids to make, and we've contributed to local groups collecting donations for the local hospitals.

I'd be so upset if someone shamed me for this. There are lots of reasons people don't do this - many of them very sensible.

What riles me more is the hypocritical people that I know about who are out clapping and banging pots and pans, then gathering in their homes the following day with all their family from far and wide but that's another post entirely!

Just ignore them as they will love it if you reply and you don't need to explain yourself. If you do reply go with the suggestion to say that you were out at a BBQ

I'd ask them, who the fuck designated them the clap police, and tell them to fuck off.

We don't clap for several reasons DS1 is terrified of it (ASD child) no matter how many times we have explained it , it brings back his fear of the virus. The only thing that works for him is the little routine of stability we have going. Plus the locals here are doing stupid shit like horns and really loud cheering. Genuinely the cacophony frightens him so I sit and read a book with DC to distract them.

Secondly we are care adjacent with our jobs and when they did it with carers most of the people we know rolled their eyes and basically the response was " just stay the fuck inside and be nice to each other...that's all we need....and PPE , lots of PPE please ." In fairness they end every sentence with that last bit.

We have a good few friends in the NHS and again their response was an bothered shrug, they se it very much as a way for people to feel better about themselves and that's fine but they think it's all about silly now (although granted that's a very small sample)

I would respond strongly to this naming and shaming crap but I'm not known for backing down to morons and probably the best advice is to ignore it (I really wouldn't listen to that advice personally but I should probably walk away form more conflict really)

Dear god I’d have had to reply
What are you going to do tonight?

Some dickhead on our village Facebook group tried to shame people for not clapping and then got defensive when everyone told him to mind his fucking business.

I haven't done it. Usually I'm putting the baby down for a sleep or pumping breastmilk at 8.
Last week my son was extremely fussy and overtired for over an hour and I finally got him to sleep and then everyone came out and started banging pots and pans. I don't mind but it was just a case of very bad timing.

I show my appreciation for the NHS by not voting for a party that has been trying to destroy them for a decade.

OP pleas take sure tour reply to the post on FB. This an absolute joke.

Your neighbour is fucking batshit
I clap every single week because I want to. I do not assume that those people on my street that arnt clapping don't care, they just don't want to fucking clap. If this happened on my street, then I wouldn't bother going out to clap again as this crazy neighbour has took all the meaning away from it.

Im a stubborn bitch tho and wouldn't want the neighbour to think that their FB post 'worked' and made me comply!

That was supposed to read: please make sure you reply to the post on FB. This is an absolute joke.

BBC Good Food are sharing a post on Facebook on how to make maracas for tonight. FFS.