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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think I shouldn't be named and shamed for not clapping

373 replies

Aberforthsgoat · 22/04/2020 22:17

I clapped originally and it was lovely and everyone turned out for it here
Last week, after a rough night with DS I fell asleep after he went down and missed the clapping
A post went on our community Facebook group actually naming and shaming me.
I was mortified. The post said everyone else turned out and I showed the street up and if I can't spend a minute showing my appreciation I don't deserve to use the NHS if I or my family get ill
I ignored it at the time but I can't get it out of my head it's really upset me.

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 23/04/2020 01:55

I don't go out to clap.it's fine if you wan't to, also fine if you don't wan't to. It's all gone a bit mad where I live, it seems like a whole orchestra of trumpets,violins and drums come out now, and also a few singers, as well as the wheelie bin and saucepan bangers.

JaneTheVirgin · 23/04/2020 01:58

I quite believe some patients are left in their own urine. I've witnessed good nurses and those who are indeed too interested in the gossip with their colleagues than the job they are supposed to be doing

I also believe it has happened in several awful cases, I just don't believe that someone would care more about nurses dancing than about their mother receiving that care. Because let's be honest if you're going to make a post about WHY you're not going to clap, surely you would say that first...or at all? What is more likely to have happened is OP acted like a child by complaining about something not worth complaining about, was called out on it and then tried to save face by saying what she did and throwing several insults alongside it to try to deflect.

If the post had been 'I'm not clapping because my mother recieved X care' while you obviously cannot judge an entire profession on a few terrible nurses, I would 100% understand their not wanting to be involved.

LilQueenie · 23/04/2020 02:01

what I noticed is the government says you can go for a daily walk. More people than every are walking past my house. They said clap. Most are following along. They said take a bike ride. I have never seen so many people out on bikes. i mean even kids out playing on them in all the streets. I'm beginning to wonder who can think for themselves anymore. Its as if someone said don't play on your console anymore. (not that its a bad thing getting away from too much console usage)

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 23/04/2020 02:04

You’re really at the mercy of those who care for your loved ones when they have dementia and you’re not around, right laughalot? Many are wonderful and caring. Some aren’t. Sorry about what your mum went through. And you, for witnessing it. X

LilQueenie · 23/04/2020 02:06

JaneTheVirgin. going through what she did how do you think it feels to see so many praising the whole of the NHS. Thank those personally who do a good job should you ever need to. I can count 12 doctors/nurses of the top of my head who should have in some cases been struck off that I had to deal with personally. There are more than a 'few' out there and when its our loved ones, particularly vulnerable ones, it will hit a nerve which will never truly be forgotten.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 23/04/2020 02:07

Jane, that makes perfect sense but I don’t suppose many of us could be quite that rational if the memory of the abuse of our parent was very fresh.

Just leave it.

Oliversmumsarmy · 23/04/2020 02:07

No one has ever clapped for the NHS in our road.

From what I have seen it looks ridiculous and unsafe.

People going into the street, crowding round each other and clapping or banging a pan with a wooden spoon for people who are working on a hospital a few miles away. Who can’t see them or hear them

As for people turning on their neighbours for not conforming. As I said our road couldn’t give two hoots to clapping but from what I have heard and read I get the uneasy feeling that it is like the stories my parents and gps told about neighbours turning on neighbours to show what good citizens they were before my family left their homes and livelihoods and walked across Europe to get to England because they were quite rightly fearful of what could happen. They left friends behind who didn’t see the danger until it was too late.
It can start like this. Where it will end who knows?

JaneTheVirgin · 23/04/2020 02:08

@LilQueenie

I agree, if you see my last paragraph I said I would understand. I also find the clapping unnecessary anyway.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 23/04/2020 02:09

As for you op, I’d absolutely reply. I think you’d be surprised at the amount of support you’d get on the fb page.

TehBewilderness · 23/04/2020 02:15

Nothing like a pandemic to bring on a witch hunt,

Laughalot20 · 23/04/2020 02:18

Oh FS @JaneTheVirgin can’t I have two arguments?

I’m sick of all the “heroics “, we must clap “bullshit”:

My father is waiting for a life saving op, which you told me to grow up about, while nhs nurses dance around, then I went into detail about how shit they treated my mother! They’re no saints and heroes ffs.

eaglejulesk · 23/04/2020 02:26

Good grief - you mean people actually behave like that?? I'm gobsmacked. I can't abide such small-mindedness. Ignore them OP, hold your head up high, you have done nothing wrong. Flowers

JaneTheVirgin · 23/04/2020 02:43

@Laughalot20

Nurses dancing has literally nothing to do with waiting lists though. And I specifically did not tell you to grow up about his op, if you'd like to go back and read this time instead of calling me a cunt? I have nothing but sympathy for everyone waiting for anything right now, the situation is awful.

Complain about the government for that one though, not frontline healthcare staff.

expat101 · 23/04/2020 03:05

Community fb pages argh! I know of a number of people who have had a gutful of the moaning on ours and have left the page.

Is yours a public one too? Ours has a membership of approx. 1800 and our area a population of about 5000. Quite a number of people on our local page are not even from the area! Quite a number who are members, don't even bother to check FB much these days either.

What I'm trying to say is the audience of the terrible post probably isn't as large or local as you might think it is. The people who generally ''like'' a post, will most likely be friends with the original poster so it becomes a bullying situation as you have found.

Report the post to the moderator as harrassment and have it taken down. If the Mod isn't helpful, report it to FB at the same time.

You don't need that shite and you don't need to explain yourself to others either.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/04/2020 03:29

Very few of my neighbours do it. There is an HCP a couple of roads down and pharmacy worker on the next road. The clapping is a bit of a chore for me. But this is all I can physically do so I do it... and I want do it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 23/04/2020 03:29

Oops I meant to say. I judge no one. They’re idiots.

Winterlife · 23/04/2020 03:43

I would respond, OP. I would post back "My DS was very ill all night, and I was up tending to him. When he finally fell asleep, I did as well, so I slept through the NHS tribute. I apologize for not having the superhuman ability to stay chipper and alert for more than 24 hours.
Next time, perhaps I should tell my DS he is on his own when ill, as a neighbour will be casting judgment on me for my human failings."

Bimbop5 · 23/04/2020 03:50

In Canada it is every single day they clap at 7pm. My husband and I both work in healthcare and think its ridiculous.

Winterlife · 23/04/2020 04:09

Really? I'm in Canada (Alberta), and haven't seen any clapping.

Rowgtfc72 · 23/04/2020 04:25

We have the same people out clapping every Thursday. I clapped the first week, it was nice to see my neighbours.
Work have changed my hours. I work in food production and my alarm goes off at 345am. By 8pm I'm dozing. No clapping here, fortunately my neighbours arent the sort to hold that against me.

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 23/04/2020 04:27

How about this:

This post was meant to embarrass me; it didn’t. During these difficult times, no one knows what is going on behind closed doors. So maybe the next time you feel the need to publicly shame someone, reach out with kindness and understanding instead. I won’t be participating in clap for the NHS in future. Not because I don’t support the NHS - I do. But to show I don’t support bullies.

Tp93 · 23/04/2020 04:32

@Whichoneofyoudidthat that's a good reply definitely post that. They are bullies!

Im in Australia and people attempted to do it here. And I didn't clap, not because I don't appreciate them, I do but because life happens. I have children and I don't sit there and watch the clock for 7pm. That's ridiculous. I show appreciation by donating money to help them instead. I don't see what clapping for them proves anyway?!? The doctors and nurses will be working anyway and I'm sure they know how much everyone appreciates them, they don't need people to clap for them for doing their job.

TheSerenDipitY · 23/04/2020 05:20

or just reply, fuck off Mavis

Whichoneofyoudidthat · 23/04/2020 05:38

Or that works too Grin

Mimishimi · 23/04/2020 05:40

So stupid. We're living in a Stasi state - by design too!