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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I shouldn't be named and shamed for not clapping

373 replies

Aberforthsgoat · 22/04/2020 22:17

I clapped originally and it was lovely and everyone turned out for it here
Last week, after a rough night with DS I fell asleep after he went down and missed the clapping
A post went on our community Facebook group actually naming and shaming me.
I was mortified. The post said everyone else turned out and I showed the street up and if I can't spend a minute showing my appreciation I don't deserve to use the NHS if I or my family get ill
I ignored it at the time but I can't get it out of my head it's really upset me.

OP posts:
1forsorrow · 23/04/2020 09:57

I haven't clapped and if anyone asks why I'll just say I carried, gave birth subsidised at uni my two who are on the frontline. I think it was more useful than clapping. Not my fault if my neighbours didn't plan ahead 30 years ago but if clapping makes them feel good they can get on with it without me.

Honeybee85 · 23/04/2020 09:58

YANBU.

I said it before, the STASI would love the attitude of some people these days.
I would personally take a screenshot of what had been posted about you, post it for publicly to see on your own Facebook timeline and add your story. Ask it to be shared among your friends and hope it goes viral because I am very sure that many hate the attitude of your vile neighbours and their pathetic post.
If it does get viral then that's karma at it's best.

1forsorrow · 23/04/2020 10:02

I said it before, the STASI would love the attitude of some people these days. It is amazing isn't it. I never thought people would react like this, you look back at the STASI and SS and think how did people let it happen. Well it is happening here and now.

Cheeseandwin5 · 23/04/2020 10:07

Wow, I am actually shocked about this.
I am so sorry. do you know who wrote this comment.
I would definitely be having very strong words with them

Cheeseandwin5 · 23/04/2020 10:09

Also who ever is in charge with content should have it removed and also be challenged.
This is most ridiculous bullying and controlling behaviour.

Honeybee85 · 23/04/2020 10:11

@1forsorrow

Yes I was talking about it the other day with my Greek friend. These days they have to fill in a form before they go outside to proof they have reason to be out on the street.
My friend says it's terifying what is happening now and she wonders if some people are using this situation to permanently violate privacy and personal freedom rights. I feel worried about Covid but also about developments as the OP described and what is happening now in the UK, in Greece and many other places

findumdum1 · 23/04/2020 10:16

If this was me I would have immediately replied "Unfortunately I was stuck on the with violent diarrhea that I couldn't control, but don't worry, I had the window open and I did manage to clap and cheer a bit in between wiping my self and the toilet and clearing up the mess - so annoying it happened just I was about to leave the house - still not feeling well now, hope it's not coronavirus! :( )

See how keen they are to have you come out and stand next to them after that.

Beerincomechampagnetastes · 23/04/2020 10:16

If I was you op - I’d post saying how upset you have been about it all.
Then Link this thread and say you feel it’s important that you all try to take on outside views and reasons why some people don’t / can’t clap.

1forsorrow · 23/04/2020 10:19

@Honeybee85 yes I wonder what the longterm effects will be. Anyone disagreeing with Boris is guilty of something, I was told on here that because I was driving 200metres up the road so my disabled husband could walk in a flat area (we live near the top of a very steep hill) I was killing people. I'm amazed I haven't been arrested for murder. We are walking blindly into some sort of totalitarian state.

BoingBoingyBoing · 23/04/2020 10:24

As a once off thing it was a nice gesture.

Now it's just a ridiculous game of who can lockdown the best, and after the footage of the fucking Met police on Westminster bridge any sensible government would have issued a statement to knock the whole thing on it's head.

cushioncovers · 23/04/2020 10:26
Smile
To think I shouldn't be named and shamed for not clapping
TabbyMumz · 23/04/2020 10:36

I think I'd be tempted to reply with something like...."what you see here is outright bullying. The person who posted this seems to have self appointed themselves as the manager of the street, and feels if someone isnt out clapping, they can name and shame them. They shouldn't. It's wrong and I hope everyone else on the street now sees what an outright bully he is. "
For this reason, I'm not clapping tonight. I noticed a few neighbours watching to see who else was last week, and for me, that's not the spirit if it. If I clap, it will be in my back garden.

MrsFogi · 23/04/2020 10:37

YANBU OP that is ridiculous. We clapped the first week and have bowed out now. By the look of the street WhatsApp my neighbours have forgotten why they are clapping and it has turned into an opportunity for the neighbours to try to outdo each other putting on music etc etc so I don't feel the need to "play". No one has said anything to us and if they do they will certainly get a reply from me (I have already told them not to use the WhatsApp when they could just go and raise small issues in person with neighbours).

Oliversmumsarmy · 23/04/2020 10:41

When will the clapping end?

Will this be going on for a week, a month, a year, 10 years from now or is this now a permanent Thursday night activity to go to the bottom of your garden, meet the neighbours and at 8pm start smiling and clapping or beating a pan with a wooden spoon for a group of people who in the grand scheme of things can’t hear or see it or are just not bothered about it.

It just seems a weird thing to do.

I saw the video of our local area and my first thought was FFS my second was why does this remind me of sea lions performing in a zoo?

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 23/04/2020 10:43

Oh god will it never stop!

As a one off gesture it was nice but every week is just tedious.

I don’t clap, why because I can’t be arsed and think the whole thing is ridiculous

Some of my best closest friends are paramedics and nurses and I think it’s great people decide to do these kinds of careers.

I have never been to A&E
I didn’t have my dc on the nhs
I haven’t visited a gp in years
I don’t call ambulances for a bruise
So I’d say I am a responsible nhs user and don’t feel the need to play a part in this weird clapping...I have been doing my bit for years by using the nhs responsibly.

How many clappers can say they’ve never mis used the nhs? A&E is reportedly much quieter now so just shows you how many were abusing it doesn’t it

Spudina · 23/04/2020 10:50

I’m so sorry this has happened to you OP. At least you know that kind of wankers your neighbours are now. I would definitely post back.

okiedokieme · 23/04/2020 10:55

Ridiculous, only about half the street claps here. My kids (elsewhere, adults) haven't got round to it because they didn't know when it was, only 20 year old could be that oblivious! The kids are are passionate about the nhs but rather than clapping, they are helping vulnerable older adults cutting grass and weeding flowerbeds, fetching shopping on foot and walking dogs ... Actions speak louder!

MissEliza · 23/04/2020 10:58

@P1nkHeartLovesCake good point about A & E.

GinDrinker00 · 23/04/2020 10:59

What a bunch of twats.
I don’t clap, I have family working on COVID-19 wards too. Not like clapping is going to solve anything. 😂

Tanith · 23/04/2020 11:03

I feel really, really uncomfortable about what the "Weekly Clap" routine has become and what it is developing into.

What next, I wonder? Physical attacks on people who don't clap? Will they break down front doors and drag us out to clap?
These bullies need to be stopped now!

ethelredonagoodday · 23/04/2020 11:07

Bloody baying mob mentality, naming and shaming people. WTAF happened to freedom of choice?! People are idiots.

Raindancer411 · 23/04/2020 11:08

We have done our claps inside as I am 8 months pregnant and usually in the bath with aching muscles around that time. I wouldn't worry, just tell them it's none of their business

Honeybee85 · 23/04/2020 11:10

@1forsorrow

That's awful! Those people are on to some kind of powertrip and having their moment by trying to make others feel miserable by telling them how to live their life now. Really vile sort of human beings and exactly the same people that would be bootlickers of a dictatorial regime.
I really hope that in 10 years time we don't have to look back and say that it all went so fast and that we should have appreciated our freedom more when we still had it.

SerenDippitty · 23/04/2020 11:12

FFS. This is not North Korea.

Redpurplegreen · 23/04/2020 11:12

Reply so much for #be kind