Acceptable time to sleep after night shift.

[Deepmidwicket]

I work 2 night shifts a week. After the first a go to bed for most of the day as I am between 2 Night shifts. I work between 12 and 14 hours shifts both nights

After the last night shift and since being in lockdown my husband seems to think I should go to bed at 10am when I get in and be up and ready for doing stuff at 12noon such as homeschooling and playing with our six yea told DS. He says because I am not at work that night I should power through.

I have done this for 2 weeks now, got up today to find they had got all the stuff out for baking and I was expected to happily join in.

My husband is a teaching and only working a day a week at the moment

Aibu to expect to be left a bit longer

Also the day my husband works is a Friday. He has not worked for 3 weeks as the last 2 have been Easter holidays and the week before he had symptoms so self isolated

I would be good for nothing on two hours. I would actually feel better not going to sleep. I have about 4 hours on my last one and then just go through the motions until bedtime!

Next time you go to bed together, let him have 2 hours sleep then wake him up and demand he gets up and does some baking, may be make a few breakfast rolls or something, and do a few chores.

YANBU.

He is expecting you to function on two hours sleep after a full night shift?

Perhaps wake him up at midnight and expect him to stay up all day?

Oh. My. God
Has your DH ever worked a night shift?

When ds is at school and DH at work I usually have until 2/2.30pm. So I am just asking for 2 extra hours

That sounds like torture!

How cruel to want to force you to be up and about after 2 hours sleep following 12-14 hours work.

I could understand if you decided to sleep slightly less than after the first shift so you could sleep at night but fgs any idiot could see you needed more than 2 hours, and that the decision should be made by you!

People who don’t work nights can not understand what “the gig” is like. When I do nights, I try not to sleep too late on my last night but that’s my preference. DH is the same.

As an aside, in my younger days I could sleep in for a night shift but as I’ve aged, I never sleep past 3pm. The fog would stop me wanting to engage in “activities” though!!

^^ and I can see by x post you do only want an extra 2/ 2.5 hours.

That is atrocious. You are working more than him, yet he won't let you have adequate rest?

My (soon to be ex) partner is a shift worker - he gets up around 4pm on the day of his last shift.

That’s way too early to get up. Confused as to why a teacher is onLy working one day a week though - I’m one and I’m working every day. Or do you mean working at school one day a week but the rest at home?
Anyway, He IBU, you need more sleep.

The “fog” not gig (and that’s me not on nights!!)

People who don’t work nights can not understand what “the gig” is like.

Err... not really. You don’t need to work nights to appreciate that a person has worked all night and therefore needs time to sleep in the day.

Your DH is being a dick. I’d understand if he was desperate and needed you to distract the DCs while he made a critical work call, but it doesn’t sound like he’s doing that, and is simply making a bizarre demand that you are available so you can all partake in some sort of weird “family time” ritual on fuck all sleep.

And who is he to tell you to power through? His attitude is appalling. Stand your ground OP - I’d wait up in my bed pretending to be asleep if my DH pulled this on me. Wanker.

No he works in a small school so is literally only working one day. Sorry he is a TA. I meant to outing teaching assistant but just ending up putting teaching. I am so tired

The first night is at the end of a normal day in which you are lucky to get a half hour nap. So you're up nearly 24 hours and working throughout. So it's bloody ridiculous not to sleep at least 6 hours after your night. If the nights are consecutive you should sleep 7-8 hours. Tell DH to stay awake 24 hours and then 'power through'. Lazy entitled bastard

Dyrne Some people just don’t get it though. They think you are napping or being lazy during the day and don’t appreciate the toll it has on your body.

Phoning in the afternoon and saying “oooft are you still in bed, alright for some”?

Or similar.

@Dyrne - your point is true in terms of showing consideration but I really did not understand until I did nights how I could sleep so much and still be able to barely function when I awoke - on days, I can get as little as 3 hours and be fine.

Ring him 2 hours after he goes to sleep on one of your night shifts. See how he likes having to function on 2 hours sleep.

My brother is a teacher and is constantly using "I work very hard" as an excuse for being a selfish shitbag-my mother also uses it to shoot me down when im upset with him for bailing out on family events with no notice.
I'm a junior Dr doing long hours, nights and never use it as an excuse like he does. I'd love to be able to take more than a week at a time of annual leave or be able to plan what I will be doing on a weekend in 6 months time.

Oh god, why can he not teach your child. I work nights 3 a week, I go to bed about 11 and get up after 3.

X post with @Nicknacky!

Also love it when that day when you finish your nights is classed as an "off" day. You've already worked 8 hours of that day from midnight!

Blimey when I worked night shifts (pre ds) I came home, showered, bed by 10 and woke up at about 5 to get ready. I have no idea how I would cope now and much respect for those who do. If your dh has never worked a night shift he has no idea how exhausting it it it's not as easy as just being awake at night instead of the day! He is being very unreasonable and selfish.

(Also: I tend to be the one who gets up with ds nearly 2 if he wakes in the night because I'm a lighter sleeper, if this happens and in tired and dh not working, I wouldn't even have to ask to have a lie in or couple of hours nap)

I think it's not his place to tell you how much sleep you need. I work 13 hour nights and sleep all day inbetween but my last night I try to only sleep 9:30/10-12:30/1 I find it impossible to switch back over if I sleep beyond this but everyone is different.

I worked nights all my working life,my last night I always slept at least 5 hours,even then I felt pretty rough the rest of that day.

Two hours is ridiculous,your husband needs a kick up the arse,wake him up after he has had two hours sleep.

My husband was amazing all the years I worked,he cooked,put all the kids to bed etc.could not have done it without his support.