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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to go and give this absolute idiot a piece of my mind?

369 replies

WobblyWoman · 21/04/2020 22:47

DH (keyworker) often takes the DC out for walks in the dark after work. DC prefer going with him than me as he plays games with them as they’re walking like hide and seek, skipping/jumping around, chasing, making animal noises etc, and they like going out in the dark just as backgroundGrin.

Anyway tonight they were walking down the main road and turned into a side road to cut back across to our house. Teen DS was walking ahead and didn’t notice they were going into the side road so carried on walking. DH bird called Hmm to him to get his attention and he walked back so DH and little DS decided to hide behind some bushes at the bottom of a small cul de sac round the corner so they could jump out at him. They were on the opposite side of some houses in the cul de sac and nowhere near gardens etc. Anyway within seconds a man threw open his front door of the house in front of them and shouted at DH and DS to ‘get out of it’ and get off his property or he’d set his dog on them! Cue massive ugly staffie like thing coming out of the front door towards them. DH explained what he was doing and said they weren’t on his property but the man kept on. DS was very scared and shaken by this point and worried about the dog so DH decided to just let it go as DC were there and came home with a very upset DS.

I’m absolutely furious that this man thought he could behave this way and want to knock on his door tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind about him threatening people with his dog. It’s only the next street up. There’s are lots of these little cul de sacs in our area, we live in one ourselves, and they are not the homeowner’s private property to dictate who stands near them!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
PolloDePrimavera · 22/04/2020 08:29

Slightly missing the point here but Staffies were voted Britain's favourite dog. It was probably a mastiff, gorgeous. The dog was just defending his territory; the man probably wouldn't have reacted if it had been earlier in daylight. I get it wasn't in his garden but in bushes opposite his house, I think pretty fair he felt there was a threat though.

What is the point is asking AIBU if you aren't prepared to take an opposite view on board? Don't worry, rhetorical question.

PegLegAntoine · 22/04/2020 08:31

The man should have apologised when he realised what they were doing and it wasn’t a threat to him or his property.
DH should have apologised when he realised he scared the man. Did he? You’ve said that he explained, but didn’t mention an apology. I’m glad DH is happy to drop it - hopefully he realises hiding was a daft thing to do.

It sounds like the man’s reaction was aggressive and maybe OTT but people are really stressed right now, this is a horrible time for people who may have anxiety issues as it is, he may be living alone and as others have mentioned could have been burgled before.

EthelMayFergus · 22/04/2020 08:32

Is anyone else quietly comforted by the thought that there are still people about who are ready to challenge suspicious behaviour, even when technically it might not be their business? So many people look the other way now. The guy had no idea who he was confronting, or what they were doing, yet he challenged them. As someone who's been mugged I appreciate people like that.

Ulver · 22/04/2020 08:33

SarahInAccounts

I'd report him to the police because of the threat of the dog.
Bookmark

Escalating a neighbourhood argument where nothing actually happened. Yes that’s a great idea seeing as they live right next to each other and are in lockdown.
Brilliant advice.

Rolls eyes

OpenWheelRace · 22/04/2020 08:34

I have to say, if your DH makes a habit of making a racket at night in residential streets, I'd probably have shouted at him too.
People walking by talking normally sound so loud, particularly from upstairs if the window is open, so God knows what kids running around and adults making animal noises sound like.
It would definitely have set my dog off.

Your husband needs to rethink this plan - it's way too late to piss about making noise on the streets by the time it's dark.

YABVU

Kyliesgoldshorts · 22/04/2020 08:35

Perhaps the dog was growling and barking at the door as it would have heard the noises outside and alerted the man.my dog barks when someone goes by my front path at night. I too am on a quiet part and it’s not often people pass my house at night so when the dogs bark I do usually check all’s ok.

TARSCOUT · 22/04/2020 08:35

Yeay a "key worker" hiding in bushes in the dark, whi could possibly not see a problem here? Bet you wouldn't be so judgy if you happened to be out alone walking by.......

CBsDad · 22/04/2020 08:35

I actually think the man with the dog was in the wrong. This isn't a gang of youths, it's a man playing with his kid. At most, if he thought someone was trespassing he could point this out but you can't threaten someone with a dog - I think I would report this to this to the police.

dottiedodah · 22/04/2020 08:40

Maybe prowling around at night time isnt the best idea?!

Ulver · 22/04/2020 08:41

Hiding in bushes in the dark jumping out on someone is not “playing with your kid” ffs

Who does this???
It’s suspicious activity in the middle of the night in the middle of lockdown. The OPs husband has no leg to stand on.

Member869894 · 22/04/2020 08:43

Let it go OP. Your husband was being a bit of a prat and the neighbour was probably unnerved.

loopyloo12 · 22/04/2020 08:43

The man was in the wrong, Evan if he saw a man and CHILD hiding in a bush you would wait a miniute to see what's going on and he must have heard them laughing about in the first place to look out and see them, you can't just go setting you dog on them I'd go round and make the man feel like a dickhead for scaring a child and I'd also have to point out it's not private property it's across the road from his house

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe · 22/04/2020 08:44

OP leave it...I have found it almost impossible to have a decent row or fight with someone whilst maintaining the rules on social distancing!! 2 meters just renders a punch totally inerfective!!!! Let it go!!!

bloodyhellsbellsx · 22/04/2020 08:45

YABU, who wants a bloke lurking about in the dark in front of your house?! I’d tell him to do one too! If they want to play in the dark do it outside your own garden. They probably set the the dog off by being there in the first place, just what you want when you’re trying to relax on an evening..your dog barking at the village idiot and his brood!

MigginsMs · 22/04/2020 08:46

Why do people keep bringing up that they/their DH is a key worker when it has absolutely NO relevance.

This.

I’d just let it go. The old guy is a grumpy git but your husband was a prat as well carrying on like that.

Quarantimespringclean · 22/04/2020 08:47

I would be terrified if a man was hiding in or near my garden after dark. I wouldn’t be rational, I would make threats and if he then told me he was hiding to surprise a child I don’t know if I would believe him.

MarthasGinYard · 22/04/2020 08:49

Have some respect

Folk are extra wary at this time

I wouldn't appreciate your Brood accompanied by your 'KEY WORKER' jumping about in bushes in the dark.

You sound like you are frothing to get stuck in

Grim

Interesting first post too

Fredthedoggie · 22/04/2020 08:50

Your Dh is the idiot and jumping on the key worker bandwagon just makes everyone think that you are making it all up as you a drama llama.

leolion81 · 22/04/2020 08:53

What sort of a grown man goes around at night when children are probably in bed running around making stupid noises?
This guy and all the other neighbours are probably fed up of listening to the nonsense every night and this time lost his rag.

Mumofaboyandmanbaby · 22/04/2020 08:54

I wouldn't care if your husband was in a blooming nurses uniform! If someone was hiding behind the bushes at my house in the dark I would be scared! Also he should have apologised and moved on, not said 'I'm only hiding from my teenage son to scare him in the dark'!

differentnameforthis · 22/04/2020 08:54

Perhaps your dh shouldn't be hiding in bushes in the dark?

The man didn't know that your ds was also there.

Ellisandra · 22/04/2020 08:55

Your husband was in the right, because he’s a key worker. End of.

pinkunicorn20 · 22/04/2020 08:56

if your dh was close enough to see this 'massive drooling staffie thing' he was too close, acting suspiciously in the dark in a cul de sac....

by the way you're not describing a staffy there, but its that kind of moronic word of mouth that leads to the perception that certain dogs are aggressive and/or unsuitable. I've been a staffy owner for years and there really is a reason they have been referred to as nanny dogs.

Yes, I did respond to this thread because the dog comment got my back up.

FakeFraudSquad · 22/04/2020 08:56

Your DH sounds very inconsiderate. Making noise, hiding and jumping out of bushes at night in residential areas during a national crisis... And you sound so very entitled. Your children’s need to be entertained on night time walks does not trump the general public’s need to feel safe in their own homes.

Your husband and sons were acting suspiciously in the dark near people’s homes. Having been the victim of several burglaries I wouldn’t have hesitated in notifying the police about the strange men hiding in bushes making bird calls (as many burglars do). If I had a decent guard dog I would have probably let it’s presence be known too.

You are in the wrong here. But I have a feeling that you are too entitled to accept that.

Burnout101 · 22/04/2020 09:00

Never mind my DH, I am a keyworker (adjusts assortment of self congratulating medals) and I'd have shouted at your DH too. Understand from DH's point of view he was trying to have fun but from an observer he was making too much noise, hiding in a bush after dark to jump out on someone a distance away from him so may not have been known to him, you can see why it looks very dodgy. He needs to be aware of other people, especially now. Maybe your DS would have been less upset if DH had played it down, just called 'sorry, we were having a game' and very quickly walked away instead of stopping to 'explain' and possibly escalate matters.

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