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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to go and give this absolute idiot a piece of my mind?

369 replies

WobblyWoman · 21/04/2020 22:47

DH (keyworker) often takes the DC out for walks in the dark after work. DC prefer going with him than me as he plays games with them as they’re walking like hide and seek, skipping/jumping around, chasing, making animal noises etc, and they like going out in the dark just as backgroundGrin.

Anyway tonight they were walking down the main road and turned into a side road to cut back across to our house. Teen DS was walking ahead and didn’t notice they were going into the side road so carried on walking. DH bird called Hmm to him to get his attention and he walked back so DH and little DS decided to hide behind some bushes at the bottom of a small cul de sac round the corner so they could jump out at him. They were on the opposite side of some houses in the cul de sac and nowhere near gardens etc. Anyway within seconds a man threw open his front door of the house in front of them and shouted at DH and DS to ‘get out of it’ and get off his property or he’d set his dog on them! Cue massive ugly staffie like thing coming out of the front door towards them. DH explained what he was doing and said they weren’t on his property but the man kept on. DS was very scared and shaken by this point and worried about the dog so DH decided to just let it go as DC were there and came home with a very upset DS.

I’m absolutely furious that this man thought he could behave this way and want to knock on his door tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind about him threatening people with his dog. It’s only the next street up. There’s are lots of these little cul de sacs in our area, we live in one ourselves, and they are not the homeowner’s private property to dictate who stands near them!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
ScarletFever · 22/04/2020 07:53

Why do people keep bringing up that they/their DH is a key worker when it has absolutely NO relevance.

This

But again, hiding in bushes in the dark.... no not good

saraclara · 22/04/2020 07:55

That diagram demonstrates that from the man's point of view, someone was hiding in the bushes opposite his property. In the dark.
Add into that the signalling whistles, and hell yes, it would seem like criminal activity.

It's a shame the kids were scared but his reaction was understandable. If you help them to see the situation from his point of view, you'll be doing then a favour. Having empathy is an important skill.

And for goodness sake don't put that note through his door. His action was instinctive and out of fear. Yours would be calculated and just nasty.

catpoooffender · 22/04/2020 07:56

OP you still don't know for sure that that land doesn't belong to the old man. Unless you've actually looked at the title deeds.

It's an unfortunate series of events and I do think the man was premature in letting his dog run round scaring DH and DS before being sure they were a threat. However you don't know whether he's previously been attacked, and is therefore nervous. Your DH was in the wrong. Not maliciously, he was just being silly, but of course his actions would have seemed highly suspicious. So everyone needs to just walk away from the situation and be glad they didn't end up getting hurt!

Gruffawoah · 22/04/2020 07:56

Because OP brought up the fact that he is a very important key worker depsite it having aboslutely no relevance. It seems the thing to do now for some people, someone on a local group was defending launching a sky lantern- because she is a nurse. As if it should be used to justify any actions, when it has no link whatsoever.

Winesalot · 22/04/2020 07:58

I am confused. If the bushy wilderness isn’t the cul de sac owners property, who looks after it, maintains it etc? Maybe it is this cul de sac’s communal property and they have a separate arrangement to other cul de sacs. It is wrong to assume that it is not his property and it could be said that this man has seen many people using it when they shouldn’t.

And, the man might not have heard your DH’s reply.

GoodbyePorpoiseSpit · 22/04/2020 07:59

Why the nasty comments about key worker? OP isn’t the first or last to use that as a way to both explain and excuse being out (either later or in the shops etc)
Really snide chat on here.

JudyCoolibar · 22/04/2020 08:00

what exactly do you think going round, ignoring social distancing, will do?

How on earth does anyone manage to make out that OP's husband was ignoring social distancing?

TheShepherdsCrown · 22/04/2020 08:03

I rather think going round to stick a vile letter through his door might be seen as an unnecessary journey. The letter might be seen as threatening or abusive. I reckon the police would be very interested, your witless DH scaring people at night, you breaking lockdown, to abuse people your DH has scared. Who knows if you are carrying the virus and have passed it on in that poison pen letter you are merrily planning. The victim and his dog aren’t the ugly cunts here sweetie.

IMissTheOutside · 22/04/2020 08:06

Two men hiding in the bushes in a cul de sac in the dark? I have a staffie and a ‘massive drooly dog’ (probably a mastiff by the way) and I would have definitely taken them out to go and tell them to go away. Neither of my dogs would have any idea of what to do other than lick the poor guys to death but they don’t know that and they’re more likely to move along! I get that your family were just messing around but they scared someone, offering an explanation was never going to work because at that point why would someone believe it was harmless family fun and not a mugging about to happen or worse? If you go over to the guys house today it should be to apologise for not considering how it might have looked to someone on the cul de sac and for scaring him.

SylvanianFrenemies · 22/04/2020 08:09

Everyone: YABU, leave it be, the man was probably scared, your keyworker husband had dealt with it.
OP: I'm going to put a letter through the door calling the man a cunt.

cacaca · 22/04/2020 08:09

I really want to know what the VERY important ‘key worker’ job is. Are you the same poster who thought their husband had the most important job in the world a few weeks ago - filling up cash machines?

cptartapp · 22/04/2020 08:12

In his efforts to be 'funny', your DH demonstrated massive poor judgement. I hope he shows better in his 'very key worker' role. Bit concerning as to what that may be in the light of his unusual behaviour.
Best thread this week Grin

Icantbelieveitsnotnutter · 22/04/2020 08:12

Why post something so petty on MN, why have a vote on whether you're right or wrong? There would be more salient battles in life to bother with. Yes key worker is going to be used by the entitled as a trump card, isn't it?

Dieu · 22/04/2020 08:14

For God's sake, just let it go.

daisypond · 22/04/2020 08:15

Don’t put a note through the door saying he’s a cunt! What on earth is wrong with you that you think that is an appropriate response?

cherrybunx0 · 22/04/2020 08:15

@cptartapp very poor taste if you think a thread essentially taking the piss out the OP is the best on here this week

I'd say you need to get out more but even I can see the irony in that - maybe take up a hobbie

cptartapp · 22/04/2020 08:17

Grin Grin

Batmanandbobbin · 22/04/2020 08:20

I’m only here to say YABU calling a staffy ugly (not read any comments)

Amichelle84 · 22/04/2020 08:21

Maybe your DH and DS should go and apologise to him today. He could have been burgled before for all you know and was scared.

Fluffybutter · 22/04/2020 08:24

Yabu to call it an “ugly staffy thing”...
lost interest after that

LaneBoy · 22/04/2020 08:25

Can imagine him suppressing giggles at the thought of jumping out on DS2 before being terrified out of his wits
TBH I can better imagine what it’s like being in your house and noting a strange man hiding opposite my house, in the dark - hiding, not just walking around - and wondering if he was going to try and break in or something. Do you really not get that seeing someone hide in the dark would look suspicious and scare people? Even if it wasn’t his own garden, this was opposite his house.

I mean, I’m sure I’d feel better if he was wearing scrubs and an NHS lanyard or something Hmm

Unless by VERY important key worker you mean one of the politicians running the country... guessing Boris is too ill to go round lurking in bushes, OMG are you married to Dominic Raab?! Shock

Walnutwhipster · 22/04/2020 08:26

If you want to burgled someone's house and are spotted by the homeowner just shout you're a very important key worker and it will allay all fears...

redcarbluecar · 22/04/2020 08:27

I think the man sounds aggressive, but all the more reason to just stay away from him and not mess around in the bushes near his house again, particularly at the moment when people are jumpy. What would pushing a note through his door achieve?

SarahInAccounts · 22/04/2020 08:28

I'd report him to the police because of the threat of the dog.

Mayra1367 · 22/04/2020 08:28

Irrelevant that your husband is a key worker doesn’t absolve him from common sense . I’m not surprised the home owner cane out and shouted we have had a big increase in car / shed crime since the lockdown in a very low crime area.