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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to go and give this absolute idiot a piece of my mind?

369 replies

WobblyWoman · 21/04/2020 22:47

DH (keyworker) often takes the DC out for walks in the dark after work. DC prefer going with him than me as he plays games with them as they’re walking like hide and seek, skipping/jumping around, chasing, making animal noises etc, and they like going out in the dark just as backgroundGrin.

Anyway tonight they were walking down the main road and turned into a side road to cut back across to our house. Teen DS was walking ahead and didn’t notice they were going into the side road so carried on walking. DH bird called Hmm to him to get his attention and he walked back so DH and little DS decided to hide behind some bushes at the bottom of a small cul de sac round the corner so they could jump out at him. They were on the opposite side of some houses in the cul de sac and nowhere near gardens etc. Anyway within seconds a man threw open his front door of the house in front of them and shouted at DH and DS to ‘get out of it’ and get off his property or he’d set his dog on them! Cue massive ugly staffie like thing coming out of the front door towards them. DH explained what he was doing and said they weren’t on his property but the man kept on. DS was very scared and shaken by this point and worried about the dog so DH decided to just let it go as DC were there and came home with a very upset DS.

I’m absolutely furious that this man thought he could behave this way and want to knock on his door tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind about him threatening people with his dog. It’s only the next street up. There’s are lots of these little cul de sacs in our area, we live in one ourselves, and they are not the homeowner’s private property to dictate who stands near them!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Theresnobslikeshowb · 22/04/2020 09:01

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou

He is gorgeous!!! Is he blue?

Rose789 · 22/04/2020 09:04

Your husband was very very unreasonable.
That could be forgiven as a lapse of judgement. However you seem determined that the homeowner was in the wrong and I don’t think you will accept that your mad cap husband who likes a laugh and a jape was anyway in the wrong.

Hoppinggreen · 22/04/2020 09:10

You should definitely have a word with the idiot, even leave him a letter telling him he’s a cunt. I’m talking about your (VIK) husband, nit the homeowner
And my (very beautiful) soppy Golden Retriever would sound like Cujo if there was someone hiding in the bushes near our house and I would also probably threaten to let him out .
You are being very U, as 99% of people on here have told you so forget it now and maybe have a word with your (VIK) husband and tell him not to be such a Dick outside the confines of his own home

Emeeno1 · 22/04/2020 09:10

You are reacting to the same feelings that the man had, threat, fear and anger. His reaction was to release his dog and shout, your reaction is indignation and fury.

You have more in common with this man than you think.We all over react to stuff. If you start from this understanding it might help you decide what is the bbest course of action.

Fluffybutter · 22/04/2020 09:10

My husband is also a key worker , I didn’t know this gave him a free pass to be an idiot .. must go and tell him

thedancingbear · 22/04/2020 09:13

If I see an adult loitering in the bushes opposite my house after dark, damn right I'll challenge them. And I'll take my dog with me for safety.

OP if you put a note through his door calling him a cunt, you will run the risk of being arrested and prosecuted for harassment.

NovemberRain2 · 22/04/2020 09:16

Do you not think it's rude for your DH and children to be making noises in a residential area after dark? Irrespective of whose property they were on, your own diagram clearly shows their were houses within very close proximity. Do you not teach your children that they should be considerate and well mannered?

The dog owner shouldn't have been so aggressive but if someone was hiding in the bushes immediately outside your house, I'd bet you'd piss your pants.

Perhaps teach your children to be more polite and considerate when they go for their walk.

ravenmum · 22/04/2020 09:19

You should be angry with your husband. OK, you're not in the US, and the man wasn't going to come out and shoot him, thank goodness - but what did he think he was teaching your children about how to act on a dark street?

backendofabus · 22/04/2020 09:20

Very important key worker

To want to go and give this absolute idiot a piece of my mind?
k1233 · 22/04/2020 09:20

I've got to say the guy was unreasonable. Every thief who has ever been sprung immediately confesses. Everyone knows that. They never pretend to be there with good intent, just visiting a friend or having a stroll with the kids. People meaning to do you ill never pull a swifty and try the sympathy approach. What an idiot.

Xenia · 22/04/2020 09:22

The husband was ridiculous here - I have told my student sons who also sometimes have their walk at night that it's not a great idea. They said earlier this year one man twice came out shouting. Of course there is a legal right before and after covid 19 to walk down a street at night but house holders tend not expect people to be jumping in and out of bushes and it could be a burglar so it might even be self defence if your husband and child were shot on the basis they were intruders.

ravenmum · 22/04/2020 09:23

Prodigiously important keyworker, I'd say.

Madre1972 · 22/04/2020 09:25

You DH was in the wrong- I’d have let my dog out too if I heard some idiot making bird noises and hiding in the bushes across from my house. Even more so when people are in lockdown and home is their sanctuary.

nicky7654 · 22/04/2020 09:27

@TheReluctantCountess I have two Staffies and they are gorgeous and not at all vicious! Sick of them being stereotyped by people who are too stupid to do their own research and listen to the media hype!!!

Bornlazy · 22/04/2020 09:29

Surely the OP mentioned he was a key worker only to explain why he couldn’t go for a walk during the day as he was out at work. Maybe he doesn’t get home until it’s getting dark and that’s the only chance he has to go for a walk. I’m pretty sure she was taking the piss when she said he was VERY important. This thread is just one massive pile on.

Ulver · 22/04/2020 09:29

So logically, two adults ( a grown man and a teen) jump out of bushes by a main road in the middle of the night to snatch a child, who logically in this scenario will let out a frightened scream.
And you are annoyed that someone saw fit to intervene and question the man involved?
Really?

Ulver · 22/04/2020 09:31

It may be a game and play for your family but to an outsider who has no idea what is going on and hearing a child scream they would be absolutely right to be scared and angry.

ANoiseAnnoys · 22/04/2020 09:31

OMG I can’t believe the abuse the OP is getting on here. It isn’t against the law to walk about at night. It isn’t against the law for kids to hide behind a bush and to, you know, play games? The OP clearly says that they weren’t near or on the man’s property.

And you lot think it’s ok for a man to come storming out of his house, shouting abuse at children and using his dog - and I don’t care what any of you say, staffys can be scary and often dangerous, to intimidate them?

Her dh also then came along and explained? How many families go on a robbing trip together? The shouting guy sounds nuts and also an abhorrent human being.

Can not believe people on here defending him, it’s just crazy. Mumsnet at its best!

Bornlazy · 22/04/2020 09:32

@Xenia shot for being on the street outside someone’s house? Yeah like that’s a normal thing to happen Hmm

ANoiseAnnoys · 22/04/2020 09:33

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overnightangel · 22/04/2020 09:33

“ By the way, it’s completely irrelevant that your husband is a “key worker””

Exactly

SpillTheTea · 22/04/2020 09:35

The man was an aggressive twat who completely overreacted. Your DH is a plonker hiding in bushes and making noises in residential areas.

Bornlazy · 22/04/2020 09:36

If you replace key worker with “ my husband can’t work from home and has to go to work through the day so can’t take his exercise until later at night” then it is relevant. So maybe key worker is just a short cut to saying all that.

ALemonyPea · 22/04/2020 09:37

Please put a not through the mans door calling him a ct, and please make sure you use the and not the actual letters, because only really hard people can use proper swear words.

Honestly don't get why grown adults can't type the swear word out, if you have to use ** to swear because you don't like the word, then don't use the bloody word. It's not mandatory to swear you know.

Heygirlheyboy · 22/04/2020 09:38

I was shouted at for just walking past a house a few weeks ago, the man was really aggressive and I was mad but someone reminded me that some people are quite paranoid at the moment and mental health sufferers are going through a tough time. I saw him last week on the footpath and he looked very vulnerable and confused. Maybe look at it that way?