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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to go and give this absolute idiot a piece of my mind?

369 replies

WobblyWoman · 21/04/2020 22:47

DH (keyworker) often takes the DC out for walks in the dark after work. DC prefer going with him than me as he plays games with them as they’re walking like hide and seek, skipping/jumping around, chasing, making animal noises etc, and they like going out in the dark just as backgroundGrin.

Anyway tonight they were walking down the main road and turned into a side road to cut back across to our house. Teen DS was walking ahead and didn’t notice they were going into the side road so carried on walking. DH bird called Hmm to him to get his attention and he walked back so DH and little DS decided to hide behind some bushes at the bottom of a small cul de sac round the corner so they could jump out at him. They were on the opposite side of some houses in the cul de sac and nowhere near gardens etc. Anyway within seconds a man threw open his front door of the house in front of them and shouted at DH and DS to ‘get out of it’ and get off his property or he’d set his dog on them! Cue massive ugly staffie like thing coming out of the front door towards them. DH explained what he was doing and said they weren’t on his property but the man kept on. DS was very scared and shaken by this point and worried about the dog so DH decided to just let it go as DC were there and came home with a very upset DS.

I’m absolutely furious that this man thought he could behave this way and want to knock on his door tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind about him threatening people with his dog. It’s only the next street up. There’s are lots of these little cul de sacs in our area, we live in one ourselves, and they are not the homeowner’s private property to dictate who stands near them!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
hesgotit · 22/04/2020 06:36

OP, accept your DH was out of order, accept that being a very important key worker doesn't mean that anything he does wrong should instantly be excused, accept that putting a note through the door calling the man a cunt is not acceptable, accept that the man that shouted didn't know that your DH's first language was not English.

Just forget it and move on!

Marnie76 · 22/04/2020 06:39

Your DH scared the man. The man scared your DH and children. They were both misjudged in what they did. Explain this to your child and move on.
The ‘keyworker’ talk is irrelevant to this situation.

Libertylee · 22/04/2020 06:41

You’re allowed out for exercise, not to hide in bushes playing silly games. Of course YABU

stringoflights · 22/04/2020 06:49

His dog was probably going crazy inside the house as people were in the garden.
Maybe they are key workers too (Or possibly just people) and were trying to rest or sleep? Imagine that.......

LastTrainEast · 22/04/2020 06:50

OP thanks for the entertainment. I woke up and couldn't get back to sleep so I needed this to lighten my mood. Grin

I don't even like dogs, but in this case the poor staffie should sue you for defamation.

MagnoliaJustice · 22/04/2020 06:51

I think most people would be unnerved at the sight of two people hiding in bushes in the dark. The man's reaction was understandable and you are being very unreasonable to want to go round and give him a piece of your mind. Also calling him an absolute idiot is uncalled for.

stringoflights · 22/04/2020 06:52

Maybe you could go and apologize to the house owner instead?

hesgotit · 22/04/2020 07:12

I've just reread and looked at your diagram where you call the man "thick" person, maybe you're the thick person for not understanding that the man was concerned. To be honest, this is a typical AIBU thread where the OP on,y acknowledges the very few that agree with her.

Op: AIBU

MN: 95% YABU

OP: why can't anyone on MN read (they can but they don't share your opinion)

OP: Well you've all wound me up, so tomorrow I'm going to put a note through the thick persons door and call them a cunt!

MN: OK, if that makes you feel better

cherrybunx0 · 22/04/2020 07:16

people have been quite dickish on this thread to be fair - it's a shame how many go this way, end up with massive piss taking pile ons.

I understand where a lot are coming from, that it could be unnerving to see people messing about in the bushes but I think the most sane thing to do would be keep an eye on it - he would soon have realised it was people messing about and it isnt a crime to play in a road or bushes. it is to use a dog or threaten to use a dog as a weapon though - it must have been a scary experience for a child, a lot on here seem to be forgetting that whilst they are busy taking the piss out of the OP.

poor dog as well - hopefully the owner is only ever threatening to set him on people and not actually doing it or making a habit of that kind of behaviour as, if reported, dog would run risk of being put down.

if you are intending to write a note though I probably wouldnt call him a cunt, think there are better use of words to get the message across then being equally aggressive

rwalker · 22/04/2020 07:18

The guy had a point seeing randoms hiding in bushes move on

Mucklowe · 22/04/2020 07:19

I would have let the dog out too! Idiotic behaviour from your fella.

ImPeckish · 22/04/2020 07:21

The poor guy had a fright, try putting yourself in his shoes.

cherrybunx0 · 22/04/2020 07:23

@Mucklowe you realise it is a pretty serious offence to use a dog in that way and it is illegal (in the UK atleast) even on private property (which this wasnt) if said dog did attack?

YinMnBlue · 22/04/2020 07:24

OK the man over-reacted in not calming down when your DH explained.

He is clearly someone who reacts aggressively in the moment.

Why on earth would you provoke this further? You weren’t there,

Your DH and DSs are the people he will recognise. Aggressive man with a dog he likes to weaponise v man he has seen lurking in bushes and is not from the UK?

You are a troublemaker.

ineedsun · 22/04/2020 07:24

It was definitely your husband who was a bit of a twat here.

Of course if someone is hiding in bushes near your house after dark (on or off your property) and you have a dog who could conceivably be perceived as a threat, you'd send it out. He was probably shitting himself.

The games sound great and I'm not surprised the kids love them but he really needs to think things through a bit more.

Don't put a note through the door, it would make you an even bigger twat. Just let it go and hope that your husband has learned from it.

ScreamingKid · 22/04/2020 07:25

He overreacted and was unnecessarily aggressive.

You are now overreacting and plan on being unnecessarily aggressive with your note.

You're therefore even, so why not leave it at that? There is no need to stoke this fire.

fuckinghellthisshit · 22/04/2020 07:26

You need to tell DH to stop hiding in the bushes at nighttime. And where I grew up gangs used bird calls to co ordinate drug activity.

Pelleas · 22/04/2020 07:33

Accept that your DH showed poor judgement and draw a line under the matter.

Bluntness100 · 22/04/2020 07:37

Gosh to be so loved up that you’re on line telling folks your husband as a VERY important key worker.

Oh the shame in announcing dogs who drool are ugly.

All very distracting from the fact you’re very important husband was hiding in the bushes to scare his child.

SimonJT · 22/04/2020 07:41

OP if there was a strange man hiding in bushes at night outside of your property who was making calls to other people I’m sure you wouldn’t feel scared at all...

CSIblonde · 22/04/2020 07:41

YABVVU. People hiding in bushes at night would have half the street calling Police where I live (NE London) . Also the people visiting the drug dealer who moved in opposite for a while used to whistle for him to come to the door or window at all hours of the night, so any whistling at night un nerves me, as they were a scary lot.

Ulver · 22/04/2020 07:44

People also whistle when acting as look out for burglars.
I can’t understand why the OP doesn’t have any awareness of how bad it looks to an outside observer.
If I saw a man hiding in bushes with a small child I would think they were being abducted.

BovaryX · 22/04/2020 07:47

If your husband was on someone else's property he deserved to get yelled at. Why do you think that's acceptable behaviour?

onanothertrain · 22/04/2020 07:49

The man overreacted but your husband is an eejit. Key worker or not 🙄

Ohtherewearethen · 22/04/2020 07:53

I bet you think your husband is a complete riot. Hilarious. Always goofing about with the kids. You probably write on your Facebook pictures about your 'crazy gang' and 'this mad one'.
In reality, your husband acted irresponsibly. No one has any reason to go into that cul-de-sac unless they live there or are visiting people who do. Can you really blame the man for being surprised at a man hiding in bushes outside his house? It is suspicious behaviour to hide in bushes. If only he'd known how terribly important and key-workery your husband was. Maybe you should put that in your note. That your husband is so very important and is a complete hoot. Always playing jokes and getting the laughs. Mention that he is a keyworker too. That he was just on one of his usual japes with the kids. Because he's such an important keyworker, he can't do it during the day and your walks with the children just aren't as full of tomfoolery and high jinx as his. Its just part of being a key worker, you see.

As an aside, I really don't think you have much of an argument about your child being scared when they whole reason this thing happened was because your husband was planning to scare the socks off your other child. Why is it ok for one child to be scared by your very important keyworker husband but not the other?