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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to go and give this absolute idiot a piece of my mind?

369 replies

WobblyWoman · 21/04/2020 22:47

DH (keyworker) often takes the DC out for walks in the dark after work. DC prefer going with him than me as he plays games with them as they’re walking like hide and seek, skipping/jumping around, chasing, making animal noises etc, and they like going out in the dark just as backgroundGrin.

Anyway tonight they were walking down the main road and turned into a side road to cut back across to our house. Teen DS was walking ahead and didn’t notice they were going into the side road so carried on walking. DH bird called Hmm to him to get his attention and he walked back so DH and little DS decided to hide behind some bushes at the bottom of a small cul de sac round the corner so they could jump out at him. They were on the opposite side of some houses in the cul de sac and nowhere near gardens etc. Anyway within seconds a man threw open his front door of the house in front of them and shouted at DH and DS to ‘get out of it’ and get off his property or he’d set his dog on them! Cue massive ugly staffie like thing coming out of the front door towards them. DH explained what he was doing and said they weren’t on his property but the man kept on. DS was very scared and shaken by this point and worried about the dog so DH decided to just let it go as DC were there and came home with a very upset DS.

I’m absolutely furious that this man thought he could behave this way and want to knock on his door tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind about him threatening people with his dog. It’s only the next street up. There’s are lots of these little cul de sacs in our area, we live in one ourselves, and they are not the homeowner’s private property to dictate who stands near them!

AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
7
Beautiful3 · 22/04/2020 10:10

I dont think that game is best played at night! If I saw people hiding in my bushes, I'd feel scared, no matter what he said. Once o had a couple of men looking around my front and back garden at night. When I confronted them, they said , "it's okay we re just looking for our cat." Well that's not okay to go into peoples property, I actually felt scared. Maybe your husband needs to stop hiding and jumping out at night, and save it for a public park in day light.

Iamamoleinahole · 22/04/2020 10:10

You will have no mind left if you keep on giving everybody a piece of it. Never mind. Keep on hiding in bushes at night making strange noises. Nothing wrong with that.

cheeseandpickledonions · 22/04/2020 10:11

Grin huge ugly drooly staffy!

ravenmum · 22/04/2020 10:13

Not sure what is wrong with asking someone calmly what is happening before throwing threats around, especially when children are present.
It's late at night, and dark. You're in your living room on your own as you have been for weeks now, left to your own thoughts about a deadly virus. You're already afraid. Then, outside, you hear what is clearly a man making a fake animal sound. Is it burglars signalling to one another? The dog starts growling. You go to the window and peer out, but you can see no-one - it's too dark. But wait - there's someone hiding in the bush at the end of your drive. Looks like a teenager. Maybe 16? 18? Skinner than you, but might he have a knife? Oh, shit. There are two of them. The other's a grown man. You wonder if you should call the police. But they'll take a while to come.

Summoning up your courage, you grab the dog and big stick, and go to the door.

PatriciaPerch · 22/04/2020 10:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MrsDoylesTeaBags · 22/04/2020 10:20

We live on a cul de sac with little alleyways leading off similar to as you described. The only time people are hiding in those alleyways is when they're up to no good.

I'd treat is as a lesson leared OP, putting nasty notes through people's doors is harrasment. I know you're bored, but escalating vendettas with neigbours is not the best hobby to start during a lockdown.

Good story though.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 22/04/2020 10:20

the man was a dick
but then so was your (keyworker) DH
sorry but you can't muck about around people's homes at night time and possibly think that is ok, these are febrile times and all

sonjadog · 22/04/2020 10:23

He probably didn't calm down because firstly he was scared, and secondly, he didn't know your DH was a super important key worker and if he was in fact a burgler or a mugger, he was hardly going to admit it anyway. Just let it go. It was an unfortunate incident. They happen and life moves on. If you start posting notes, that makes you the biggest arsehole of all.

Quirrelsotherface · 22/04/2020 10:25

Fucking hell, I am very placid in general but if I saw someone crouching near my property after dark during these strange time I'd have given him a mouthful too.
Please don't knock on his door tomorrow, just ask your DH to start acting normally. I'd wonder why he feels he needs to performance parent all the time too, just go on your daily walk like the rest of the country.

MitziK · 22/04/2020 10:25

No, of course he was in the wrong. It's every VERY IMPORTANT KEYWORKER'S right to entertain themselves of an evening by looking and behaving like a rapist, mugger, burglar or other violent criminal. And, after all, no actual criminals exist in your area and would never say 'It's alright, I'm just playing with my children' when challenged to try to put somebody off calling the Police.

You're being a knob about this. Hopefully he or another person in one of the other cul-de-sacs will call the police next time your family decide to scare the shit out of the people who actually live there - and then you can call the coppers cunts when they detain him. See how that pans out with DBS checks in the future.

LaMarschallin · 22/04/2020 10:26

No idea what sort of area you live in but such behaviour would be totally unacceptable here. You have very low standards, obviously.

Well...

OP's DH is a VERY important key worker.

And I've heard that Chequers isn't what it used to be... I 🤔

BovaryX · 22/04/2020 10:29

certainly not to apologise on DH’s behalf hmm, but to tell him he’s a c**t!

OP, your husband playing lurkio in someone's bushes was stupid. It's totally irrelevant whether he's a 'key worker.' Your response is aggressive and unpleasant. Your inability to grasp how your actions are perceived is revelatory.

GabsAlot · 22/04/2020 10:30

i live in a cul desac i really wouldnt like peple walkiing round making stupid noises in the dark

he shouldnt threaten you but its odd you seem to think its ok what your family were doing

Ulver · 22/04/2020 10:30

LaMarschallin

No idea what sort of area you live in but such behaviour would be totally unacceptable here. You have very low standards, obviously.

Well...

OP's DH is a VERY important key worker.

And I've heard that Chequers isn't what it used to be... I 🤔

Sorry I didn’t clarify that that was a quote from the poster Sarah something who was saying that I must live in a crappy area because I think it’s ok that the neighbour told them to get lost!

BoBomian · 22/04/2020 10:31

YABU. Your keyworker dh sounds childish and annoying lol.

louise5754 · 22/04/2020 10:32

How awful are some people on here?

Do you get a high out of making a stranger feel shit.

Yes her husband shouldn't have done it and the man was scared for his safety. Most of us agree on that.

No need for the personal comments though.

It's not only AIBU that's full of nob heads at the minute.

Daftodil · 22/04/2020 10:36

The man should have apologised when he realised what they were doing and it wasn’t a threat to him or his property.

Your DH should've apologised for frightening someone in their own home. Your DH might've said they were playing a game, but if he was up to no good, he'd hardly be saying "oh, sorry, yeah, we were just about to mug this guy" or "oh, sorry, we were just scoping out the neighbourhood looking for someone to rob". Any excuse would sound flimsy in the dark. Would you believe a stranger?

I will pop a note through idiot guys door but certainly not to apologise on DH’s behalf, but to tell him he’s a ct! *

You sound like a really awful person. Who would do this to a stranger?

Agree with @FakeFraudSquad: You are in the wrong here. But I have a feeling that you are too entitled to accept that.

Despite 12 pages of responses predominantly saying you are being unreasonable, you still can't see this experience from the other man's perspective. Maybe next time the man sees a teenager about to be jumped in the dark, he'll ignore it and just let thugs beat up an unsuspecting victim.

Waspnest · 22/04/2020 10:36

Of course you're BU. If I saw anyone lurking in bushes near us or our neighbours in the dark during lockdown I'd have called the police. Would you have preferred that response OP?

And staffies are lovely if they have responsible owners. My PILs have a rescue staffy and he is the softest dog I know.

Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 22/04/2020 10:42

Well..... a 12 page pile on for everyone to repeat themselves over and over and over again......

Ispywithmycynicaleye · 22/04/2020 10:45

@SquirtleSquad (that picture!!!)

OMG spat my coffee out and pee'd a little 😂😂😂😂😂

I'm going back to read the rest of the thread now...

Ulver · 22/04/2020 10:46

Today 10:32 louise5754

How awful are some people on here?

Do you get a high out of making a stranger feel shit.

I’m so awful I would never for a moment consider posting a note through a neighbours door calling them a cunt!
Which OP is adamant she is going to do despite most people advising her not to.
Being that provocative with neighbours in the middle of lockdown is asking for trouble imo and with small children you really should not be starting vendettas in your neighbourhood.

Ohtherewearethen · 22/04/2020 10:47

@louise5754 - the OP wants to further disrupt and upset the man by posting a note through his door telling him he is a cunt. You then call everyone 'nob heads' and 'awful' whilst proclaiming that there's no need for personal comments that might make a stranger feel like shit. What, pray tell, might this man feel like, after OP's husband was acting like a burgler, mugger, drug dealer or flasher only then to receive a note through his door calling him a cunt? Is that not awful? Would that not have made him feel like shit? Just think about how ridiculous what you have written sounds.

Serendipity79 · 22/04/2020 10:47

I've not read the whole 12 pages, but seriously you cant believe your DH wasn't at fault here?

Your kids like going for a walk with dad in the dark and playing games - so presumably later than approx. 8.30 at the moment? They went to a street that isn't where you live and starting jumping out of bushes making noises and were shocked when someone came out and had a go at them - REALLY??

That chap could have had bad experiences with people hanging about his property, he could have been burgled previously, he could be sat indoors isolating for 12 weeks and be petrified. I know I'd be going out and having a go at anyone who did this to me - I also live on a quiet cul de sac and have small children in bed when its dark.

If you genuinely think its ok to go round, put notes through the door etc then I'm sorry you have some very strange views of what is reasonable or not.

louise5754 · 22/04/2020 10:50

@Serendipity79 I think she's heard all of that loud and clear.

It's not necessarily this post.
I've had people say I'm making posts up and surely I don't need to ask such things. Well if I knew the answer I wouldn't need to ask.

Leflic · 22/04/2020 10:51

Clearly your DH mucking about has disturbed people. It there homes at night. What on earth did you expect to happen?
And of course no one is going to understand the “ we were only mucking about “ story. What else do peoplr caught do something dodgy say?

We’ve had a load of car crime in the lockdown. Mostly kids and teens trying car doors and nicking what they can.