To want to go and give this absolute idiot a piece of my mind?

[WobblyWoman]

DH (keyworker) often takes the DC out for walks in the dark after work. DC prefer going with him than me as he plays games with them as they’re walking like hide and seek, skipping/jumping around, chasing, making animal noises etc, and they like going out in the dark just as background.

Anyway tonight they were walking down the main road and turned into a side road to cut back across to our house. Teen DS was walking ahead and didn’t notice they were going into the side road so carried on walking. DH bird called to him to get his attention and he walked back so DH and little DS decided to hide behind some bushes at the bottom of a small cul de sac round the corner so they could jump out at him. They were on the opposite side of some houses in the cul de sac and nowhere near gardens etc. Anyway within seconds a man threw open his front door of the house in front of them and shouted at DH and DS to ‘get out of it’ and get off his property or he’d set his dog on them! Cue massive ugly staffie like thing coming out of the front door towards them. DH explained what he was doing and said they weren’t on his property but the man kept on. DS was very scared and shaken by this point and worried about the dog so DH decided to just let it go as DC were there and came home with a very upset DS.

I’m absolutely furious that this man thought he could behave this way and want to knock on his door tomorrow and give him a piece of my mind about him threatening people with his dog. It’s only the next street up. There’s are lots of these little cul de sacs in our area, we live in one ourselves, and they are not the homeowner’s private property to dictate who stands near them!

AIBU?

Your dh and dc were behaving suspiciously at night and got pulled up for it. He was being immature and irresponsible.

Instead of defending your dh maybe tell him he needs to be more aware of his surroundings and his actions and also use it as an opportunity to explain the same to your dc for when they are mischievous teens out alone in the future and prevent them getting into similar trouble.

@Ulver

Escalating a neighbourhood argument where nothing actually happened. Yes that’s a great idea seeing as they live right next to each other and are in lockdown. Brilliant advice.

No idea what sort of area you live in but such behaviour would be totally unacceptable here. You have very low standards, obviously.

But was it an aggressive dog though? Because I would imagine if it were, your DH or DS would have maybe received some injuries? Sounds to me like the man brought it out to protect himself against the perceived threat outside. It’s what I’d do - and I have a staffie he’s more likely to lick you to death unless you tried to hurt me.... Maybe this will teach your DH not to hide in bushes late at night - not sure many adults play hide and seek after dark so I can’t imagine anyone looking out of their window and thinking ‘aww, look at that man playing hide and seek in the bushes’

YAB massively U.

Oh and if your DH is a VERY important key worker then I suggest you don’t go touching other people’s letterboxes to deliver an unnecessary note - there’s a very serious virus going around you know.

Get a grip!

This reminds me of that Brady Bunch movie where the Brady’s’ are living in the modern day.
I think the man, after realising what he thought was unusual activity was in fact a hilarious prank carried out by a comedy genius, was supposed to burst into uncontrollable fits of laughter and shake his hand (while his ‘ugly’ dog wagged its tail enthusiastically, rolling onto its back waiting for belly rubs).

He shouldn't be hiding in bushes acting weird, fair play to the home owner

Yes YABU, your husband shouldn’t be hiding in bushes in the dark. We are going through strange times atm and many people are anxious and any feelings are heightened. I think your response maybe highlights that you too are feeling the strain with your husband a VERY important key worker and you are also caring for two DS. It wasn’t very nice for the homeowner to be shouty but please give him and yourself a break. What’s everyone saying at the moment? BE KIND - not only to others but to yourself too .

And most people I’ve come across in life who own staffy’s are very, very stupid!

And you most people who don't know that plurals don't have an apostrophe are very, very, very stupid.

@ANoiseAnnoys
How many families go on a robbing trip together?

Where I come from, lots, it's a family business bringing up the kids to thieve right!!

And most people I’ve come across in life who own staffy’s are very, very stupid!

Most ridiculous thing I've heard in quite some time!

DS was once challenged with very threatening language by a large bloke who saw him with a few others, lurking in the dark in a rural pub car park.
He did the British thing and apologised loudly for being part of a group of Explorer scouts running wide games for the younger scouts.
Then had to do the same thing a couple of months later when they were practising field emergency aid, and some worried woman thought she’d spotted 4 men carrying a dead body to an unmarked grave.
Apologise, think about the environment you are working in and how frightened people are. Even blokes with staffies. Do you live in a Neighbourhood Watch area?

If your DH is an "important"
Key worker may he work in a hospital? busy stressed and wanting to totally block his day out by acting daft and escaping from the day with the kids?

I can see why the man was scared. Maybe he had kids who were scared and wasn't really listening to what your DH was saying. He probably now realised he was a bit OTT.

Everyone is on edge at the minute.

OP, do you know what it's like to be burgled? Have you ever experienced that?

It sounds to me like this man was (quite sensibly) extremely shaken by people hiding in the bushes outside his house, whether on his property or not, and bravely decided to confront the threat. Not necessarily advisable, because he could have potentially been in danger, but brave nonetheless. Upon learning that your DH was not a criminal, but rather an inconsiderate dimwit, he absolutely DID NOT owe him an apology. Threatening him with the dog at this point was not great, but I imagine he was still feeling fairly shaken and full of adrenaline. He had every right to be furious with your husband for making him feel unsafe in his own home. In fact, it's your husband who owes him an apology.

You would be completely out of order to put a vicious note through this man's door, given the trouble your family has already caused. Leave him alone. Putting through a note calling him a cunt is bordering on harassment. I assume you won't be adding your name or any contact details. I imagine it will be one of those cowardly, anonymous letters. If you do put your name, I hope he reports you.

Yorkshire Terriers Jack Russell etc are probably more likely to nip you than a Staffy. It depends how they have been brought to but usually Staffys are lovely they just don't look very friendly.

OP won't be back , like alot of others they should post , I'm always right , I'm can't stand people not agreeing with me and if I do come back I'll dress it up as people being very nasty to me and can't understand what's happened to the forum these days.
Maybe a new sub forum " yes I'm always right , only post to agree with me " would be handy.

YABU. Staffies aren't ugly at all. They're adorable.

Your DH was is the wrong (however well intentioned)
I would have been petrified and probably called the police if I spotted someone lurking the the bushes - even if it wasn't on my property.
In my area there has been a number of break ins over the last few weeks so we're being encouraged to call the police if we see any suspicious activity.
There is nothing wrong with going for a walk at night but don't hide in the bloody bushes!!

A PP made the point that, despite the bushes not being attached to the man's house, he may well have/share responsibility for that area.
There are a few places near my house that have that sort of thing:
some bushes at the end of a cul-de-sac that the two houses at the apex of the cul-de-sac have to maintain.
A stretch of grassy pavement across the road from a line of eight houses that the occupants need to keep in order at least by mowing their bit of grass, but a few plant bulbs to make it look nice.

And most of the people in those houses find it annoying if the grass is continually walked over as a short cut or the daffodils are picked by children whose parents think it's okay because it's not someone's garden. As far as I know, nobody's thought it a good idea to squeeze themselves into the bushes to hide but I'm sure the people pruning and weeding that area wouldn't like it either.

And it's always possible that "thick man" is a key worker too, and was just home from his working day or even been woken up early before going off for a night shift, by "bird noises" (I can see why even you thought that was , OP) and people hiding in the bushes across from his house (whether he maintains them or not).

Not sure what is wrong with asking someone calmly what is happening before throwing threats around, especially when children are present. So many people on this thread don't seem to have a problem with that. Thank goodness we don't have mainstream gun ownership in the UK. Let's all just keep on reacting and judging and see how much better it makes us all feel.

Dorp

Nah, just auto-correct! And I would definitely say most people who own aggressive breeds of dogs are generally much more stupid than people who make occasional mistakes with apostrophes - But nice try!

what if the man was a key worker...........

Just read he was a key worker. All's well then.

Hey OP, are you going to put your name, address and mobile on your note?

If you think you’re in the right, then you should identify yourself.

I mean, you wouldn’t want to be an asshole posting an anonymous note like that to a neighbour who just the night before had a huge fright? The aim isn’t to make him feel more threatened in his own home during a lockdown, right?

Yeah, you’re not going to post this note in the dark, making sure no one sees you and they can’t open the door and confront you will you? Big ugly dog and all.

I bet you’d be perfectly fine if this neighbour decides to start walking his ugly dog up and down your street for his hourly exercise. I’m sure you wouldn’t be pissing your pants posting on here about how he’s trying to intimidate your children

I think your DH should apologise for hiding in his garden, then the man might apologise for threatening.
If he is threatening his dog as protection he must be scared.
I'd get a fright if I saw someone hiding in my garden in the dark.

ANoise, my generalising makes about as much sense as yours does then. I suspect you just don't like dogs.

probably wasn’t a staffy if it was a dog which drools a lot.

No idea what sort of area you live in but such behaviour would be totally unacceptable here. You have very low standards, obviously.