The girl who lives opposite to me and other tales of horror

[cookingmywaythroughlockdown]

So the girl who lives opposite has had her boyfriend around two days in a row. They sit at opposite ends of the drive and TALK.

Aibu to call the police, the fire brigade and the exterminators?

Never mind Covid, they make the place look untidy!

And I saw two people TALKING when I was out. Like it was a normal day.
Monsters.

Aibu to spend my lockdown photographing and hounding the dregs of humanity?

I live in a world heritage site you know. Standards must be maintained.

I actually smelled WEED... and lo! a group of MAMILS on bikes were in the woods hiding in a clearing as I was cycling by for my exercise.

There were about 5 of them, and they were definitely not Social Distancing, and they were laughing, too.

Had it not been for a low 2%battery on my phone, and the trees in the way, I'd have MAMIL shamed them and sold the vid to the Daily Mail.

Went for a walk on a local beach today and the Coastguard and bomb disposal arrived. I thought that was going over the top.

Bit of a shock! They weren't coming for me, someone found an explosive.

You must post it on Facebook! 😆

They've stolen a dog!!!

@Zaphodsotherhead - yes, and he is one of those Hoodies who has to be dealt with.

And they listed the OPs age as 55, when she’s actually 53. Awful

You hosed them away yet @cookingmywaythroughlockdown?

@opticaldelusion I think the only solution is, you know, take off the door and burn it, then the neighbours will be happy!

The dog disappeared and now a camper van has turned up towing a pizza van.

I think the Hot Fuzz solution may be required....

We had a complaint on community FB page, someone was mowing the local park. IS IT REALLY ESSENTIAL?

At one point they were carrying a dog that isn't theirs

Seriously where have they found a random dog during lockdown?

mutters and hoists bosoms up

I bet she lets her washing get darked on as well and doesn't give a fig about all the spiders rubbing their willies on it.

My dog is fairly random, ChristmasCarcass. They aren't so hard to come by.

My neighbour spent hours (literally hours of endless droning) power washing his drive today. These are the lengths one must go to if selfish young lovers will keep talking in our precious air.

But were they ACTUALLY on a drive or were they really on a footpath that was designated as an historical bridleway designated in 1357?
Were they eating crisps?
How many furlongs apart were they?
You say that you saw two people talking... were they in the same village?
Have you convened the ‘I hate anyone who isn’t my actual neighbour that I share sherries with’ brigade?

@Cherrysoup surely the mum should have crossed her legs till lockdown is over. Don't you know you're only supposed to live with the original members of your household?

There is no way Cherry Coke is an essential purchase.

It will be anarchy next.

I think the Hot Fuzz solution may be required....

What, like crashing clumsily through fences?

surely the mum should have crossed her legs till lockdown is over. Don't you know you're only supposed to live with the original members of your household

Happened right before lockdown, think she’s ok!

It is your legal and moral duty to report them to the police and have them put in to prison for a very long time.

@bananaskinsnomnom and @Zaphodsotherhead set the swan on them....

Just the one swan?

At one point they were carrying a dog that isn't theirs

Mark my words, they're planning a barbecue.

That Cherry Coke isn't just a drink - it's a marinade.

I just have to say thank you everyone. This is the first thread on here that has made me laugh out loud for a long while.

And I adore the picture of the dog on Cookings diagram. My DDog looks very similar which is why he is currently on a diet.

@BruceAndNosh

All my neighbours are also inconsiderate bastards.
I can see the whole cul de sac from my kitchen window at the end of the road.
Every day EVERY SINGLE CAR is parked on the drive.
They are not going anywhere.
Every single day THERE ARE NO STRANGE CARS parked on the road.
They are not having visitors.

Bastards.

I'll never be able to start a thread on MN

(Are you quite sure though that, if you got out through the bedroom window on to your roof, you couldn't spot their one of them inciting another into saying "Good morning" or something?

You've plenty of time to learn to lip read - I think you'll find it invaluable.)

My dog likes to socially distance himself from me. At the moment he's at least four metres away. Is this because he's scared I'll pass on Covid-19 (I don't have it), or does he just hate me? Can I report him as he's [pretending to be] not part of the household (accept at mealtimes)? Am I being unreasonable for wanting to exchange the lazy sod (Greyhound) for a dog that I can use as an excuse for being outside, eg a normal dog?