The girl who lives opposite to me and other tales of horror

[cookingmywaythroughlockdown]

So the girl who lives opposite has had her boyfriend around two days in a row. They sit at opposite ends of the drive and TALK.

Aibu to call the police, the fire brigade and the exterminators?

Never mind Covid, they make the place look untidy!

And I saw two people TALKING when I was out. Like it was a normal day.
Monsters.

Aibu to spend my lockdown photographing and hounding the dregs of humanity?

I live in a world heritage site you know. Standards must be maintained.

I bet they have bicycles on the premises too and sometimes even use them. Bastards. Last week she bought shampoo with her essentials shop. Selfish cow, nobody needs clean hair. Post a photo on your local busybody FB group immediately.

We went out for a cycle ride earlier & stopped for a drink half way round, we sound as depraved as your neighbour.

Totes hilair

The people opposite me spend most of their day in their tiny front yard. The woman knits or crochets, the man does endless, mysterious woodwork projects, they even eat their lunch out there, sometimes they even have socially distanced conversations with passers by. Shall I ring 101 or go straight to 999?

Today I sinned..

My friend knocked on my window when she walked past so I opened it and we had a 10 minute chat 2 metres apart.

Disgusted with myself now.

... and I bet the boyfriend has a big soppy dog that is running up and down the street (on the pavement) off leash!
What scandalous horror!

@Wilberforce1 You're just going to have to go out there and clean that window now, aren't you? Or have it completely replaced. Or failing that, brick it up altogether.

Talking to eachother? From a distance? That's against the rules doncha know. You should twitch your curtains and knock on the window frantically. And if that fails go tell them straight.

I bet they smile at each other too.

Shameless!

They were drinking cherry coke.

No word of a lie.

CHERRY coke.

I'll never sell the house

Burn the 5g masts!

It's appalling that people think they can flout the rules in this way. Every one of them should be fined, no, locked up, no, shot at dawn. Obviously. (Sorry, I think I need gin!)

My friend knocked on my window when she walked past so I opened it and we had a 10 minute chat 2 metres apart.

I suppose at least she didn't jog past. You don't want any of those joggers near your house. They will kill you with their sweat droplets, shoving you into the road as they go. The demons!

I hope you bleached that window. Those knocks can be deadly.

I know what you are attempting to do O.P, just not very funny. Please try harder

Fortunately gin is part of my essential shopping.

Binoculars and megaphone.

Diagram.......

You and your entire extended family should all pile into the car and drive around filming solo joggers and families out exercising whilst maintaining social distancing, then put the footage on FB with a long post about how SOME IDIOTS keep leaving the house.

If challenged about the necessity of your own car journey, point out that you work in Superdrug so are therefore a key worker and cannot be questioned, claim you once saw a cyclist peddling along with a tickly cough as well, and then flounce.

I was horrified to see a family of people who shared a house dare go for a walk today! Their feet came in contact with the ground as they had forgotten they should levitate. Should I go and bleach the pavement outside my house in case the virus comes through my walls?

@yerawizadari I’m on it already. Considered getting window replaced but didn’t want the neighbours to think badly of me for having workman outside so I’ve scrubbed it for 2 hours with some Mr Muscle. Have also text friend and gave her a piece of my mind, she started it after all with her uninvited window knocking.

Unless your neighbours boyfriend is jogging on the spot outside her front gates he’s breaking the rules. Dob her in!

Careless bitch.

She'll be the death of us all. Is she looking at your garden?

Do you live near me? I just looked out my window and the girl has her boyfriend there AGAIN today. However, he has another friend with him too so it’s more of a triangle they are sat at

We need a diagram or it didn't happen....

And Lo, there is a diagram.