The girl who lives opposite to me and other tales of horror

[cookingmywaythroughlockdown]

So the girl who lives opposite has had her boyfriend around two days in a row. They sit at opposite ends of the drive and TALK.

Aibu to call the police, the fire brigade and the exterminators?

Never mind Covid, they make the place look untidy!

And I saw two people TALKING when I was out. Like it was a normal day.
Monsters.

Aibu to spend my lockdown photographing and hounding the dregs of humanity?

I live in a world heritage site you know. Standards must be maintained.

I can tell from the look in her eye that she is planning a walk to the local naice village. Go round and chop off her legs before she sullies the naice path.

This is why we need legalised assault weaponry in the UK. Like in America.

Police with AR-15s to take out the crisp eaters and the people who enjoy sunshine and other evil, evil murdering bastards who need to be culled for the greater good.

I bet she rents

Is there a diagram? Can't see it on my phone
taps screen furiously

Well, I get a local food delivery. Last night the driver came in and kissed me right on the mouth. Then he spent the night in bed with me.

Alright, it was my husband but I'm still worried the neighbours will call The Authorities.

My DD's boyfriend sits in his car at one end, she's at the other but no cherry coke so you aren't my neighbour (I'm amazed they are sticking to the rules no one is around here)

They don't have to be real police. They could just be those pensioners with clipboards and fake speed guns. Except not fake, and not speed.

Are they doing tantric sex do you think? Or at least planning to?

I dropped some shopping off today at my parents' house. I actually touched the door handle. Do you think I should just hand myself in to the police right now or wait for the neighbours to phone 0800-COVID-SNITCH?

I went to get my bin earlier, it has to go in the road,a short walk down a track from home, One of my cats followed me,and sat on grassy bit near the bins. A woman came by on the opposite side of the road, but she decided to walk over and try and stroke, and talk to my cat. My cat knows the rules of distancing so he ran off. The woman was a few feet away from me, but by heck, I don't want my cat to see a woman crossing the road to be near him. !!!

@1forAll74 - I hope you know that going out to 'get the bins' counts as your exercise for today!

Cherry coke? The weirdos! A friend was telling me earlier that his mum had asked another friend about his new baby. Someone chipped in with how this is against the rules. I’m fairly sure you can ask from a distance how the new baby is! I (shock, horror) spoke to a lady I know walking her dog at the weekend. I was over 10 feet away, pretty safe!

We went out for a walk (2 adults, 11 and 9yo) today and ate trebor mints. There was also a game of 'IT' and I caught some pokemon. It was the second time DDs have left our home property in 3 weeks and the other time they sat in the car while I waited for the vet to come and get our fuckingPITA cat who'd not been socially distancing and had a cat bite.

But we didn't sit on a bench OR eat crisps so that was ok I hope. Now I'm not sure. And I enjoyed the walk. ENJOYED IT. hahahahahaaaa

Have they tried to touch your bush Op?

You must immediately wash everything in sight including the soap.

I'm furious, this morning my neighbours actually left their house and spent nearly all day in their gardens just sat there. They weren't doing anything essential, no exercise.

I think I might have also spotted one talking but I can't be sure, because I distracted by the lack of mask and gloves.

I've been forced to pour bleach into my pressure washer and spray everything in sight from the windows.

I've also informed the Daily Mail.

Cherry coke? Ugh. They're welcome to it, the weirdos.

@Wilberforce1 You scrubbed for two hours? Only two? You're all doomed.

You poor love!

Once you've recovered from the shaking and sobbing ring 999. PLEASE!

All my neighbours are also inconsiderate bastards.
I can see the whole cul de sac from my kitchen window at the end of the road.
Every day EVERY SINGLE CAR is parked on the drive.
They are not going anywhere.
Every single day THERE ARE NO STRANGE CARS parked on the road.
They are not having visitors.

Bastards.

I'll never be able to start a thread on MN

Only bleach and wipes? You dirty buggers! You should set your homes on fire and move to a desert island. NOW.

This is the thread I’ve been yearning for. Well done, OP.

This thread has made me laugh so much, thank you 😊

UPDATE

Girl with boyfriend, her sister and mother have just been in and out of the house, all in pjs and looking up the road. I fear they may be having a social life. At one point they were carrying a dog that isn't theirs!

Shall I call CID or just go straight for MI6? And the air strike.

I’d call 101 and log it OP

That's unacceptable.

Go out and seize the dog, while maintaining the needed social distancing, because the dog is evidence that they are mixing with Other People.

Try not to lick the dog to inhale anything neat it.

Repost back, we are here to support you in these difficult times.