DH won't stop playing with himself

[vinoelle]

This is semi light hearted, but this habit has been getting on my nerves in these fractious lock down times.

DH ALWAYS has his hands down his trousers, 'fiddling' with his bits when we are sitting on the sofa. It's not sexual, he isn't masturbating, and isn't erect, but basically the whole time we are watching tv or talking he will just be fiddling with himself, I don't know how else to describe it.

He's done it for years and I've mentioned it a couple of times, he just says he finds it comforting and gets a bit annoyed if I mention it or says I'm nagging. Just recently when we are trapped indoors together it's REALLY started to annoy me and I don't know why. I just find it a bit impolite? I have no issue with him masturbating properly in private, or scratching himself if he has an itch, but he'll just do it for ages and doesn't even have the decency to hide it under a blanket! ARGH. So IABU and a prude?

It's a primal/dominance thing when done in public by 'gangs' of lads. Quite grim really, like watching the discovery channel as they eyeball each other while fondling themselves, whoever backs down first wins.

I was in Manchester and asked for directions by a lad of about 20. He had a London accent like me and we had a quick, friendly (I thought) conversation about which part we were from etc.

When he left the friend I was with looked so shocked, and told me the lad had been groping himself throughout the entire conversation. I hadn't noticed. I assume that means I won the masculinity battle as he was the one who left first

A comfort thing. Ewwww.

The amount of people on this threads saying they have witnessed this means it absolutely isn’t done alone.

Mine does this, I hate it. It's not a man thing as such but pretty much only men do it. I've noticed alot of 'youths' in tracky bottoms do it, round my way.

To those who d say my man dosent do it its somethig normally done when your on your own!

Yes, so he should keep it to something he does on his own!!

If a man was complaining his wife constantly had her hands down her pants fiddling everyone was say it was disgusting. Yet some posters have a ‘boys will be boys’ attitude because it’s a man.

It’s not a ‘man’ thing. It’s a gross disrespectful thing.

Thats so gross and inappropriate. And yes theres something very creepy and wrong about touching your genitals in the presence of someone who is uncomfortable with it. And yes habits absolutely can be broken. My dp who doesnt fiddle with his genitals in front of me asked me to stop pulling my hair out so i obliged him and dont do it in front of him. Its disrespectful and absolutely not a man thing. My dsd brothers exs male friends and dp dont do it. And yes the only men i ever seen do it were chavvy trying to be intimidating ones.

To those who d say my man dosent do it its somethig normally done when your on your own

That's fine! The issue is ops husband is doing it in front of her.

I'm gonna kick my feet up and stare at the fan
Turn the TV on
Throw my hand in my pants
Nobody's gon' tell me I cant

Bruno Mars felt it was enough of a thing to include in his lyrics. And he seems like a nice young man.

I don’t see any problem with it

He's a man, he should be out working or hunting for food or something, not sitting on the sofa all day. It's not natural. He's just checking his balls & being amazed they are still there.

Are you joking @ZenDay

Trousers with a belt would sort it. I am so glad I don’t have to put up with this sort of behaviour.

Perhaps some people look for that in a partner.

Howfar12 that’s fine. But it is still gross and not acceptable in public or if your partner doesn’t like it. Some people like picking their nose and eating it. Same thing gross.

I know this is natural behaviour etc etc etc - but masturbation - comforting, delightful and natural as it is blah, blah, blah, is NOT A SPECTATOR SPORT!

My son knew this by the time he was four. He could do what he liked in his bedroom, but not in public.

If he needs something to "comfort" him - get him a dummy.

[lighthearte] try spreading your legs and doing similar - see what he says! Omg I would hate that, I'd be contantly saying "Wash your hands with soap!"

Showed dp this. He said, yeah and its always guys in sweatpants that do it!

Maybe they've got thrush or something.

When the kids were little, they went through the perfectly natural period of self exploration. The phrase we used was 'there's nothing wrong with bits, but we do that in private'. If a 2 year old can get it, shouldn't your DH be able to as well?

It's a bit basic.

Has he evolved in other ways?

DP has some rather gross habits (as do I ) but even he doesn't do that.

Get a cattle prod and zap him when he does it. He'll soon learn to stop.

ugh...gross.

Does he know he’s doing it? I hold my boobs when I’m relaxing. I had no idea until my husband pointed it out

A habit is difficult to stop - it’s like smoking, drinking, talking too much etc

Boys usually grow out of it when they're about 14.

A habit is difficult to stop - it’s like smoking, drinking, talking too much etc

Get the twat a cock-patch then.

Boxing gloves.

Buy him some boxing gloves.