DH won't stop playing with himself

[vinoelle]

This is semi light hearted, but this habit has been getting on my nerves in these fractious lock down times.

DH ALWAYS has his hands down his trousers, 'fiddling' with his bits when we are sitting on the sofa. It's not sexual, he isn't masturbating, and isn't erect, but basically the whole time we are watching tv or talking he will just be fiddling with himself, I don't know how else to describe it.

He's done it for years and I've mentioned it a couple of times, he just says he finds it comforting and gets a bit annoyed if I mention it or says I'm nagging. Just recently when we are trapped indoors together it's REALLY started to annoy me and I don't know why. I just find it a bit impolite? I have no issue with him masturbating properly in private, or scratching himself if he has an itch, but he'll just do it for ages and doesn't even have the decency to hide it under a blanket! ARGH. So IABU and a prude?

That’s grim. I’m surprised you married him.

My DH does this too - particularly if he's wearing something with an elasticated waist. I go mental at him and usually give him a whack across the back of the hands. It's just so disgusting and disrespectful but he seems to think it's fine - I notice my FIL does it too when we're visiting and makes me feel sick. I've never seen my own DBs nor DF doing it. Even my DS thinks it's horrible.
I've also noticed youths who wear those hideous grey baggy joggers normally walk around playing with their tackle.

My dh ive been with for 22 years has never done this.

Of course it is masterbation. He is getting pleasure from it.

Send him to wash his hands every single time you see him do it.

But yet again, im not surprised at how low some women’s expectations of their husbands are.

I have seen chimps at the zoo compulsively play with their genitals though, so maybe he just needs to evolve. THIS

Bleurgh. Those saying it’s a bloke thing it’s the actions of a minging dirty bloke.

Buy him a leotard.

and he was doing it as I was looking at him talking and I just felt annoyed by it

Stop talking when he starts and just look him straight in the eye.

Could you get him into cooking - chopping up and deseeding red chillis? I guarantee that once he fondles his balls having done that, he'll think twice the next time. . .

The thing is, it’s a habit, so he can’t stop doing it...

A fog horn would certainly help.

" start playing with your flaps" really made me smile

I think I'd say, stop playing with yourself really loudly every time including when he is on the phone etc.

Of course it is masterbation. He is getting pleasure from it.

I get pleasure from eating peanut butter kit kats but I wouldn't say its masturbation

Op - you are totally underreacting here. It's gross! Why have you put up with it all this time??

Weird thing to admit but my DS is 9 and he literally never has his hands down his pants. . I started to worry there was something wrong because I hear so many other mums saying its all their son does. 😂

*Not a humblebrag

This is not a man thing. It is like saying spitting is a man thing.

It is a mannerless, unhygienic, rough man thing who was either not thought that it was wrong in childhood or doesn’t care.

Get a water pistol OP (and others plagued by these children unable to leave their genitals alone) and fire it at his crotch every time you catch him at it.

That'll break this "habit".

I’ve taught my teenage sons not to fiddle with themselves around people. It’s worse now that most men wear tracksuit bottoms. It’s bad mannered and gross. Let’s all start scratching our arses all the time.

And no, not all men do it. DH and I have been married over 25 years and I've never seen him doing it, and thankfully neither did my dad, or any of my former boyfriends.

I get pleasure from eating peanut butter kit kats but I wouldn't say its masturbation

Are you touching your genitals while you're eating them?

And I agree with other peeps its dirty uncouth bloke thing but is gradually become more frequent in public. Can you imagine the men in the 40s doing this? Was definitely a class thing.

Does he do this when (pre-lockdown) he is sitting in the park, or down the pub, or at work?

It's an unpleasant and disrespectful habit, and one that could potentially get him into trouble if he forgets himself and starts messing with his bits in public (post-lockdown).

I'd talk to him like I'd talk to my 5yo. Hands out of your trousers NOW

There’s a psychological element to it, surely? He’s got “stuck” at an early development stage. My son is 3 and constantly just holding his bits- very normal.

Are his parents the sort that would have gone OTT about him holding himself as a small child do you think?

(Before you all start, yes this is very much armchair psychoanalysis, openly, admittedly and quite enjoyably so).

I have a father, a brother, a husband (and previous boyfriends) and two DSs who have many friends.
I have never seen any of them do this. Have I just struck lucky?

Euurggh it’s disgusting! He needs to be able to control himself with this. No it’s not a man thing either, my 2 teen DS’ and DH don’t do this!
It’s completely socially unacceptable to to mention mingingly unhygienic. Pull him up on it every single time, bollocks to him if he gets annoyed at you for mentioning it (no pun intended).
It’s like a 2 year old who’s discovered his willy for the first time and can’t keep his hands off it ☹️

I would just do the same thing, let him see how annoying it is.

Op sit and pick your nose, examine your fingers etc, in front of him and see what he says. Or suck your thumb!
Otherwise film him he probably doesn't realise how awful it looks.

Has he been to the doctors to check he hasn’t got testicular cancer?

Lay off, its a comfort thing making sure there're still in place:)

If you don't like it get him to take up smoking, preferbly a pipe!

To those who d say my man dosent do it its somethig normally done when your on your own!