To be annoyed at IVF comments

[Strawberryshortcake28]

My IVF was cancelled due to CV which although was devestating I completely agree and understand money and resources need to be better spent elsewhere

What I am annoyed about is the comments I have been hearing about how it shouldn't be available in the first place on the NHS and it is a waste of money

Infertility is a disease! Caused by all different health issues imagine not being able to have your own DC
Imagine trying every month and getting your hopes up for years and years to be disappointed month on month

Imagine watching all your friends have their dc and think you'll never get the chance and feeling like you have nothing in common anymore
Imagine waking up every Xmas or mother's day with no DC to spend it with

Infertility has been the hardest experience of my life and made me severely depressed IVF gives me hope .

Yes you can go private and pay for it yourself but not everyone is in the financial position a lot of couples spend thousands on treatment with no DC at the end the NHS could be their last hope give them one more shot
Yes adoption may be an option but not everyone can be approved or is it an easy process

Aibu to be angry ?

It is a very sad for couples but I can see IVF being suspended on the NHS in the not too distant future. There’s going to be a lot of money to make back once this pandemic is over and unnecessary NHS procedures will be one way to cut expenditure.

I’m off to feed my beautiful NHS funded twins

The two debates here seem to be

• are children a biological right or a lifestyle choice
• should the nhs treat non physically debilitating illnesses.

An interesting debate for the second question would be reconstructive surgery. If the nhs for example cures your breast cancer, should they be required to reconstruct your breasts?

Why tell anyone in the first place? It's your business, nobody else's.

IVF won't be cancelled forever, in a few months the clinics will open again and you may be lucky, I hope you are.

I believe people can have three goes of IVF on the NHS, depending on their age, which seems OK to me. After that, if they want more, they have to go private which is expensive and of course not everyone can afford.

I do wonder what infertile people do if they can never have a child, do they permanently feel bereft, depressed or grab opportunities that present and carve out a whole new life for themselves.
It's a sad business, very disappointing but there is happiness and fulfilment without children.

I'm sorry, OP. I know how you're feeling about your cancelled IVF because we just had ours cancelled too. We were 7 days from embryo transfer after weeks and weeks of injecting myself and taking tablets and generally feeling grotty because of it. To add insult to injury, the nurse rang me to tell me my cycle had been cancelled due to the Coronavirus outbreak and question marks over the safety of mothers and unborn babies during this time, but she also told me that my cycle would have been cancelled anyway because the nurse had defected a couple of fibroids in my uterus and they wouldn't go ahead with embryo transfer until they'd been removed. This was a privately funded FET round but now the clinic have said that I will have to go to my GP when this whole COVID thing calms down and set the ball rolling for fibroid removal before then going back to our clinic for the FET again. I'm turning 40 later this year so giving the whole current state of the NHS and where their priorities lie now (and for the foreseeable future) we've accepted that the FET won't ever happen for us now.

Anyway, I just wanted to give you a virtual hug because this whole thing sucks. And yes, some people say the most insensitive things to infertile people. Fine if that's what you think but you don't have to kick someone when they're facing one of the worst experiences of their life. Kindness and compassion don't cost a thing.

should the nhs treat non physically debilitating illnesses

I take it you don't believe mental health services should be funded either then?

I’m off to feed my beautiful NHS funded twins

What an utterly crass statement on this thread

@ariana1 not necessarily. It’s a postcode lottery for some people they get 0, some get 3, some get 1 etc

@Strawberryshortcake28 l completely agree, like you l am in limbo land with IVF. Here is another vote for this to be moved to the infertility board. Before people start telling you how easy it is for them to get pregnant, you’re being greedy for wanting IVF etc. I am sure soon enough it will be full on infertilty bingo with suggestions about “relaxing more”, have you thought about adoption etc

I believe people can have three goes of IVF on the NHS, depending on their age, which seems OK to me.

Not everywhere. It very much is the oft-trotted out "postcode lottery".

I don't actually think IVF should be NHS funded, however a much fairer system would be to ensure people get one turn rather than some several and some none. Caveats as to suitability would apply obviously.

thinking of you op

My egg collection prep was stopped.

I'm in premature ovarian failure so by the time I'm allowed back out (shielding) and clinics are open will likely be too late. I was going to be paying for myself anyway but I totally understand how your feeling. Are you on any support groups for it? The fertility network are doing sessions to help private message me on here and I can fell you more if you want. They have helped me. Donation only if can afford it to them

for you, Mullikins.

Any chance you can go privately to have the fibroids removed? I know it means finding more money from somewhere but then at least you might be able to move forward with the FET.

@Dyrne how is it an odd comparison it is an example of an actual disease. Infertility does not cause what many diseases causes, inability to live a normal life, physical pain etc.

I don't believe anyone has the right to have a child so for that I think YABU as I don't believe it should be funded by the NHS, but that doesn't mean you can't be upset about it, so YANBU for feeling upset.

Some people are horrible thoughtless pricks. It's usually a particular type of person who thinks that and it's really not the kind of person you need to give a fuck about their thoughts, so try not to xx

@Moomin12345
@DellAmorenonsisa

Firstly, infertility is classed as a disease. As such it should be treated as a disease. If you're annoyed at the thought of NHS funding being spent on fertility treatment, watch the video link. It'll boil your blood!

So what about people who have had cancer, should they not be offered fertility treatment?
What about someone whose only child is killed young?
What about someone who is suicidal because they are unable to have children and don't have the money to pay for fertility treatment?

Maybe have a look at how much treatment for mental health illnesses cost the NHS, and compare it to the cost of IVF. You'd be surprised.

I take it you’ve got kids @Knowhowufeel2?

OP, I completely agree with you, but I would, having had IVF to have my DD and currently pregnant with number 2 via IVF. One privately funded, one via NHS.

I just wanted to clear up some misconceptions about IVF funding in the UK that always seem to appear on these threads:

• Funding is a complete postcode lottery. In Scotland you get three cycles. In England only 12% of all NHS trusts offer 3 cycles, most offer 1 cycle (my area only offered 1). Some offer 0. It is up to the local trust and by no means a given that you will get funding.
• You cannot get funding if you have a BMI over 30, or smoke.
• In some areas (mine for example) you cannot get funding if you are over 35 years old.
• The decision for a pregnancy to be consultant lead again varies from trust to trust. My first pregnancy was with a trust that made no special arrangments for IVF pregnancies. The one I'm in now (I've moved since DD's birth) gives 2x extra scans and I am consultant lead due to previous c section. Again it varies.

I am very aware of the cost of IVF, having paid for a round and greatful that I had a round on the NHS. The idea that all funding should be private sits uneasily with me, as it means that only infertile people who could afford to spend thousands can have the opportunity to try for a baby via IVF. Many people concieve naturally without thousands in the bank. I'm really uncomfortable with this.

Also, my 2p on the ifertility isn't a disorder question; your body (or in about 50% cases your partner's body) isn't functioning the way it should be, and this is exactly what the NHS should be there to treat!

I do feel for you, especially having started the process and then having coronavirus intervene. YANBU to be upset. However. Having a child is not a right, nor is it a medical necessity. The NHS needs to prioritise medical necessity over things that people just want to do. So in that respect, I’m afraid YABU.

The NHS is struggling. If things need to be prioritised, this shouldn’t be in the shortlist. Save and improve existing lives rather than bring new lives in the world. Someone said ‘procreation is one of life’s fundamentals’ and people need to stop thinking that way.

If that's your attitude there should be a one child policy or an encouragement for fertile people to limit family size rather than not funding IVF.

@namechangegamechange2 what should it be called then? There is nothing wrong with me apparently, my partner and l pass all tests with flying colours but yet we can’t conceive

I think that until you have fertility issues yourself you can never ever know what the impact is like. My guess is that many of the people who say it shouldn’t be available on the NHS would have a very different view if they had had experienced it themselves. It’s without a doubt the hardest thing I’ve been through and i think people massively underestimate its impact and I speak as someone who also just had their second round cancelled having had a miscarriage (from ivf) three months ago.

It’s so infuriating the amount of women that think it’s fine for the NHS to pay for them to pop out their third but not to help the women who just want to have one because ‘it’s not a right’. But it’s a right for you to be cared for to have yours!

We had infertility and needed IVF so you do have my sympathies. I don’t have an issue with NHS funded IVF. My only disagreement around it is it’s unfort a bit of a post card lottery as to whether you get nhs treatment or not. Also I never thought it fair when in new relationships if one person already had a child but was trying to conceive with a new partner who had diagnosed infertility - that the couple were discounted because one of them already had a child.
When we had IVF just over 10 years ago, a private cycle cost around £3,500 at some clinics. Although £3,500 is an enormous amount of money to some people - actually funding a new born and bringing up a child is much much more. So if I am honest I did always feel confused when people said they could not afford private IVF at £3,500 but could afford to raise a child.

@firsttimemum30

www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/definitions/en/

@Lynda07 it’s not 3 goes. NICE guidelines say that it should be but most CCG’s don’t. There are also age deadlines after which nothing is offered and also long waiting lists. There are no rules about age deadlines either. It depends on your CCG’s