To be annoyed at IVF comments

[Strawberryshortcake28]

My IVF was cancelled due to CV which although was devestating I completely agree and understand money and resources need to be better spent elsewhere

What I am annoyed about is the comments I have been hearing about how it shouldn't be available in the first place on the NHS and it is a waste of money

Infertility is a disease! Caused by all different health issues imagine not being able to have your own DC
Imagine trying every month and getting your hopes up for years and years to be disappointed month on month

Imagine watching all your friends have their dc and think you'll never get the chance and feeling like you have nothing in common anymore
Imagine waking up every Xmas or mother's day with no DC to spend it with

Infertility has been the hardest experience of my life and made me severely depressed IVF gives me hope .

Yes you can go private and pay for it yourself but not everyone is in the financial position a lot of couples spend thousands on treatment with no DC at the end the NHS could be their last hope give them one more shot
Yes adoption may be an option but not everyone can be approved or is it an easy process

Aibu to be angry ?

@ivfgottostaypositive that's the reason why I couldn't have let go of the dream of having a baby myself through IVF before leaving that dream and moving on to the adoption process. I needed to know that I'd tried, otherwise I would have always wondered 'what if?'

ivfgottostaypositive Tue 21-Apr-20 21:51:57
@peperethecat

We decided to do IVF so that we wouldn't wake up in 5 years time with regrets that there was something we could have tried and didn't or wondering "what if" for evermore. Yes we ll be paying these IVF loans off for years to come but if it doesn't work we will be at peace with that and will be able to move on without regrets x
.....
You sound far more sensible than most.

Of course I feel sorry for the op. My experience of infertility is my parents (I was adopted), who tried everything that was available at that time, before iVF, but were married 18.5 years before I was on the scene. During that time my mum did nothing - she didn't go to work and hardly mixed with anyone outside her immediate family except during WW2 when everyone had to do something and she 'hated' that; that was before my time but after having me she still mixed with virtually nobody apart from close rellies. What a waste, eh?

So many childless people manage to live useful lives and have fun too. I would like to think I would have been the same but of course we'll never know. One thing is certain, I would have carried on going to work and had promotions which I did when I was a mum, but more so.

Op, there are always insensitive and thoughtless people around.
There isn't anything anyone can say to ease your pain.
Take care of yourself.

You sound far more sensible than most.

What are “most” people like then?

@lynda07

Thankyou although it took a while to reach that point though and only after nearly dying for the second time with a second ruptured ectopic. At the end of this I will have given it everything - emotionally physically hormonally and financially as well as nearly my life. My stomach looks like a battleground with all the ectopic surgery scars and it's a daily reminder of how much we fought. No one can say we didn't try and with that has come peace and a certain acceptance.

ivfgottostaypositive

I hope it all works out for you.

I do think there comes a point where you have to say “enough” for your own mental health, to allow you chance to grieve etc.

ivegottostaypositive, I am so, so sorry for what you went through. You are certainly a braver person than I, of that I'm sure. You're right that no one could ever say you hadn't tried everything. What is heartening is that you embraced life afterwards and I hope it's been good for you.

What a needlessly cruel comment... on a thread that hasn't moved in 5 years, did you really need to say anything, especially something designed to be deliberately hurtful to a person who has poured their heart out about the grief of their infertility.

Have a little empathy.