To be annoyed at IVF comments

[Strawberryshortcake28]

My IVF was cancelled due to CV which although was devestating I completely agree and understand money and resources need to be better spent elsewhere

What I am annoyed about is the comments I have been hearing about how it shouldn't be available in the first place on the NHS and it is a waste of money

Infertility is a disease! Caused by all different health issues imagine not being able to have your own DC
Imagine trying every month and getting your hopes up for years and years to be disappointed month on month

Imagine watching all your friends have their dc and think you'll never get the chance and feeling like you have nothing in common anymore
Imagine waking up every Xmas or mother's day with no DC to spend it with

Infertility has been the hardest experience of my life and made me severely depressed IVF gives me hope .

Yes you can go private and pay for it yourself but not everyone is in the financial position a lot of couples spend thousands on treatment with no DC at the end the NHS could be their last hope give them one more shot
Yes adoption may be an option but not everyone can be approved or is it an easy process

Aibu to be angry ?

NO- I wouldn't say that that needing IVF is a disease!!! Myself included, the vast majority of childless couples have no known cause for their infertility. I do not have a disease!

I do sympathise, after 9yrs TTC and 2 losses. Its a postcode lottery re IVF too. Some areas don't allow any on NHS, even if under age 40, others have restrictions on age, BMI, smoking etc.

Yes, its stressful at times, and comments can be difficult, but not everyone going through it needs anti-depressants or counselling either.

I agree, OnlyFools, if you think people with infertility get it in the neck, obese people get roasted on threads like this (I'm not obese myself).

YANBU to be sad over this. Im so sorry you are going through this.

I can see on the flip side though how the NHS will have to pull back on everything. My autistic child has already had his appointments cancelled, and he has been really, really struggling. We needed this help and had waited almost a year for it . So don’t think fertility treatments are the only thing here being taken away at the moment.

I feel like all issues can be taken at face value, unless you're suffering from them and then you see the nitty gritty. You understand the caused and the consequences, and when you understand those you understand why it should be available publicly.

Infertility should be offered publicly, as should help for addictions, obesity, mental health issues, sleep issues, life shortening issues, sporting issues that may impact the quality of someone's life once their identity has been taken away from them and so on.

Taking away IVF wasn't done lightly, but by limiting that service it prevents more people from becoming vulnerable either directly or indirectly because of it. It doesn't stop the devastating mental health challenges that people overlook unless you've been in that position. Access to mental health services has also been limited in this time so all of these women with infertility issues, all of these people with addictions, all of these people whose identities have been taken away for an indefinite amount of time and so on are all struggling.

I feel sorry for you OP that people still don't understand but I don't blame those people because most of those people haven't experienced the thing they're saying shouldn't be offered publicly so they can't empathise.

I didn't say it's a right to have a child but it should be the right to get the chance when your diagnosed with a disease like Infertility you should have the right to treatment if it doesn't work then fair enough but to say well not even try to treat you in my opinion is wrong

YANBU.

People not wanting IVF to be available on the NHS are v short-sighted. People will go abroad to countries with poorer standards and come back pregnant with multiples which will generally require v expensive NICU treatment.

I feel sorry for you OP that people still don't understand but I don't blame those people because most of those people haven't experienced the thing they're saying shouldn't be offered publicly so they can't empathise.

Surely people who've been able to have children naturally should be able to imagine how they would feel if they hadn't been able to have them.

You are not being unreasonable at all. People who are lucky enough to have children, or have never gone through the pain of a miscarriage will ever have the slightest clue what it is like. Just ignore them x

I agree with others - get this moved to the infertility boards where you will find kind and caring people going through the same thing.

Absolute bunch of snakes on this forum.

I was only entitled to one IVF cycle. The egg collection process only produced one immature egg, and I was told the there was only a 1-5% chance of IVF resulting in a healthy baby so my DH and I decided that paying privately for another IVF cycle wasn't worth the cost or the pain and chose to adopt instead. We now have 2 DDs, birth sisters of 11 and 8.

Adoption isn't for everyone, and if you're not ready to give up the dream of having bio DC you shouldn't go down that road. (It was easier for me, as I knew that IVF wouldn't work.) Social workers are quick to spot it if you haven't come to terms with not conceiving a baby yourself.

I would recommend therapy. I only had it at the time because it was a 'hoop' to go through before I could apply to adopt, but it was very helpful to me.

If people are making those comments to your face they are being very insensitive. You are allowed to be angry about the situation but people are allowed to disagree with you. I don't thank that infertility is a disease and I don't agree that the NHS should pay for it. There isn't a bottomless pit of money and so many other services and drug to treat illness are underfunded.

Can you please stop calling it a disease.

The NHS is a wasteful almost bottomless pit of inefficiency, there are plenty of things which could be cut or processes improved to be better quality and value for money rather than cutting IVF. Horrible attitude no doubt from people who have never had to deal with it, I do think the criteria should be the same across the board though and not vary by trust.

God, I hate this.

The NHS isn’t struggling because of IVF. In fact I’m willing to bet it’s a drop in the ocean of its spend. People just love to pass judgment on what they think is ‘worthy’ and unfortunately IVF is an easy target. You could stop all the IVF and the NHS would still be chronically underfunded.

I hope you tell these people to piss off!

How about doing a bit of reading @namechangegamechange2

The world health organisation recognises it as a disease.

@ElonsMusk my DC has also had his appointments to monitor his autoimmune condition cancelled too. I don’t think certain health conditions are being singled out for being left at the moment. It’s across the board sadly.

for all those with cancelled appointments for various things within the NHS

With all due respect it is not a disease, it will not kill you. In my job I have seen people suffering from horrendous things but not having a child is not like dying in agony of cancer.

Also what @Dyrne said 100%! If people don’t think having children is important enough why should anything related to childbirth be paid for by the NHS? I bet people would feel differently on the IVF issue if they had to fund their own scans, treatment, labour etc because it was their choice to get pregnant.

I am one of the very lucky people who got pregnant from the one nhs ivf cycle I was allowed. People are very quick to have opinions on ivf and some of the comments I read are just horrible.

I will be forever grateful that our wonderful nhs gave me the amazing gift that is my gorgeous dd and no one can know the heartbreak of infertility unless you have been through it.

first you need to do some reading too.

From the WHO...

www.who.int/reproductivehealth/topics/infertility/definitions/en/

I get that I'm not ill as such, as my infertility isn't for any diagnosed reason. But my body obviously isn't working as it should, seeing as I was unable to get pregnant. I chose to adopt so I came to terms with the fact that nothing could be done for me, but quite clearly there was something wrong.

They are not being unreasonable to have that opinion.

They are, however, being very unreasonable to express it to you given your situation.

Who is saying this?

Also what @Dyrne said 100%! If people don’t think having children is important enough why should anything related to childbirth be paid for by the NHS? I bet people would feel differently on the IVF issue if they had to fund their own scans, treatment, labour etc because it was their choice to get pregnant.

Exactly.

Although it isn’t essential to procreate, if we are going to stop the NHS using resources on providing a loving couple with a child with a child, then we’d better stop spending on all things that are other people’s fault.

1. Sports injuries
2. Type 2 diabetes
3. Smoking related illnesses
4. Hip/knee replacements where it’s caused by obesity
5. Car crashes when someone is at fault, charge them for the injured’s care

I won’t go on and on as I’m sure you get the point!

But if we stop treating infertility where do we draw the line?

Yes, but if people had to pay for all that there'd be a lot less people desperate for a child I'm sure. It's only because it's free