To be annoyed at IVF comments

[Strawberryshortcake28]

My IVF was cancelled due to CV which although was devestating I completely agree and understand money and resources need to be better spent elsewhere

What I am annoyed about is the comments I have been hearing about how it shouldn't be available in the first place on the NHS and it is a waste of money

Infertility is a disease! Caused by all different health issues imagine not being able to have your own DC
Imagine trying every month and getting your hopes up for years and years to be disappointed month on month

Imagine watching all your friends have their dc and think you'll never get the chance and feeling like you have nothing in common anymore
Imagine waking up every Xmas or mother's day with no DC to spend it with

Infertility has been the hardest experience of my life and made me severely depressed IVF gives me hope .

Yes you can go private and pay for it yourself but not everyone is in the financial position a lot of couples spend thousands on treatment with no DC at the end the NHS could be their last hope give them one more shot
Yes adoption may be an option but not everyone can be approved or is it an easy process

Aibu to be angry ?

I don’t get comparing infertility to sport related injuries etc. Nothing will happen if you don’t get treated for infertility. You won’t die. If you don’t treat those with diabetes or injuries, it’s a worse outcome.

PurpleDaisies you’re confusing my question. A lot of people who claim benefits as parents often get told that they shouldn’t have had a child unless financially secure. But the argument that it’s a biological right to reproduce then that would counter such an opinion.
I’m not saying I agree or disagree but it’s a debatable point of view. Are children a right or a life style choice.

But @Inconnu it would be totally unfair to start denying women in the twenties/thirties age bracket IVF on account of the fact that we need to spend the money on our aging population.

Quality of life, which is massively enhanced for most people by having a family, should be more important the length of life.

Why should current tax payers suffer by missing out on that so we can fund people who did have that opportunity in years gone by to live longer?

All that would happen if things like IVF was banned would be that there would be no hope for less well off women suffering from infertility AND we still would have unmanageable costs associated with an aging population. That won’t go away if we get rid of IVF.

Yes it is jing. Look at the WHO definition of infertility.

I'm sorry your appointment has been cancelled. I'm sure things will get back to normal soon. Ignore those who are catastrophizing. They don't know any more than anyone else what will be cut after the summer. I am sure that hospitals who have made a big investment in their IVF programme will not want to throw away all that investment and expertise. This is a temporary blip and the country has enough wealth to get through it. Keep your mind on your goal - look after your health and nutrition and focus on your mental health so you are ready when they call you.

Nothing will happen if you don’t get treated for infertility. You won’t die.

People have killed themselves due to infertility. And I'm starting to understand how someone could get to that point.

@JingsMahBucket infertility is absolutely a disease. Wtf are you talking about?

OP YANBU but as other wiser posters have already pointed out you will get a wide range of arseholes on here patronisingly telling you that they feel sorry for you but really the NHS can’t afford this sort of medical assistance. Head over to the infertility boards - a great group of people on there.

@Fantasiaa, no, infertility isn't in itself life threatening but people have committed suicide because of it.

A lot of people who claim benefits as parents often get told that they shouldn’t have had a child unless financially secure. But the argument that it’s a biological right to reproduce then that would counter such an opinion.

I don't think anyone really begrudges people living off benefits for having one or two children. It's when they decide to have three or four or five whilst people who don't claim benefits are carefully weighing up whether they can afford to have a second that people feel it's taking the piss.

IVF doesn’t fix the infertility it just gives you the hopefully desired outcome but it doesn’t fix or treat the condition.

I think that’s where the grey area is. The nhs fixes people. Having a baby but still being infertile is not a fix it’s a plaster.

I don’t care if a baby is a “plaster” that doesn’t fix my infertility. Do you honestly think that’s what infertile couples are bothered about?

There are also plenty of conditions that the NHS can’t fix, only manage.

YANBU. Many people who don't have personal experience of infertility lack empathy, I would try to just tune them out

@Nomorepies I guess the NHS should stop funding antenatal and maternity care then...

The NHS is not a bottomless pit. I am sympathetic to your position but don't think it should come from public funds.

I also disagree with most plastic surgery on the NHS. We can't afford it.

If you can't afford private treatment how can you afford a child? They are very expensive.

I don't think I'm an arsehole for prioritising life saving treatment above IVF. Only an arsehole would think that.

You'd think that people who have had their own children naturally would have the imagination to know how they would feel if they hadn't been able to have them, but it appears many don't.

@sunfloweryy I agree with you that it is unfair, but what's the solution? You can't just deny people any medical treatment after the age of 75.

Also, the current generation of older people wouldn't have benefited from IVF as it didn't exist then. They'd have just had to accept infertility.

@Fantasiaa You also won’t die if you don’t have fillings, hip replacements, cataracts repaired and various other things the NHS funds...

I can imagine everything you describe because we suffered from infertility for over 10 years. I still don't think IVF should be covered on the NHS though.

You say people may have spent thousands and this could be their last chance, but if you've spent thousands on private treatment you're not eligible for NHS IVF anyway.

Quite a while ago my local CCG changed from funding 3 full cycles to not covering any at all, and I agree with that.

Before cv, there were incredibly long lists for ops that changed quality of every day life like new joints etc. Other ops like tonsillectomy and grommet insertion have been further rationalised, resulting in children having increased speech and language issues, as well as poor health from recurrent infections.
There is only one pot of money, and the resources should go to improving life quality of these very real conditions.

I get that the buzz phrase for the last few years has been infertility is a condition, to try and improve how this is perceived. BUT the conditions causing infertility imo are the conditions. Treatment to improve the causal conditions should of course be given, such as endometriosis. BUT I disagree that fertility treatment should be part of this. Pain relief, relieving the impact of these conditions such as fibroid etc yes, ivf no.

Infertility is hard. I was diagnosed with infertility in late 20s so i fully get how it feels. Even still I didn't expect the NHS to provide me with fertility treatment. I saved for a decade and paid myself.

I fully get the view that fertility treatment is a choice in the same way that opting to ttc generally is a CHOICE. There are alternatives and being blunt, noone died due to not conceiving and giving birth. Yadayada about mh implications etc you understand what I'm saying!

So I think yabu.

guess the NHS should stop funding antenatal and maternity care then
Nonsensical argument. If a woman gets pregnant and receives no care they are a load of physical issues she and her baby could encounter. This isn’t the same as an infertile couple.

Jesus. They call everything diseases nowadays. WTF.

Yanbu. I think there is a bit of an attitude here that parents should get no help with anything and no one should be helped to have children because it is a lifestyle choice, but i wonder how people think they are going to be supported in their old age without a new generation of tax payers and key workers!

Twinberry if your list goes untreated they lead for further physical issues for the person. If infertility goes untreated it’s more a physiological issue.

Infertility is certainly a disorder. It's not normal not to be able to conceive.

This thread is now going to fill up with absolutely horrible people putting the boot in. Just like the last one.

Although I feel really sad for people unable to have children I have to say it isn't something I feel should be funded by nhs. To be i'm not sure I agree with IVF at all. I don't have children before anyone says I must be lucky enough to have conceived naturally. Also I would never have posted this if you hadn't raised the subject.