To be annoyed at IVF comments

[Strawberryshortcake28]

My IVF was cancelled due to CV which although was devestating I completely agree and understand money and resources need to be better spent elsewhere

What I am annoyed about is the comments I have been hearing about how it shouldn't be available in the first place on the NHS and it is a waste of money

Infertility is a disease! Caused by all different health issues imagine not being able to have your own DC
Imagine trying every month and getting your hopes up for years and years to be disappointed month on month

Imagine watching all your friends have their dc and think you'll never get the chance and feeling like you have nothing in common anymore
Imagine waking up every Xmas or mother's day with no DC to spend it with

Infertility has been the hardest experience of my life and made me severely depressed IVF gives me hope .

Yes you can go private and pay for it yourself but not everyone is in the financial position a lot of couples spend thousands on treatment with no DC at the end the NHS could be their last hope give them one more shot
Yes adoption may be an option but not everyone can be approved or is it an easy process

Aibu to be angry ?

As for age I started TTC at 29 and most people having NHS funded treatment are in their early to mid 30s, as it tends to be restricted or not available at all on the NHS if you’re over 38.

Whoever mentioned gastric band surgery - its a cost saver for the NHS as very overweight people are either very unhealthy people or are ticking time bombs for diabetes and the like, which create issues for the NHS and undoubtedly require further resource.

As far as I'm aware, one cannot just rock up and demand a gastric band either.

YANBU - Once you get beyond life-saving treatments, most medical procedures are about improving quality of life and I simply don't think it's possible to make blanket pronouncements that one life-improving procedure is more valid than another. There may be arguments on an individual basis that person X's procedure should take priority over person Y's IVF, but trying to make the issue black and white is never going to work.

I had to have an life-saving total hysterectomy at 33, which meant that I went from fertile to IVF-not-even-an-option in a matter of a week. It's hard to put it into words. What I would say is that I wish that I could give someone else my "goes". What I think the NHS should or shouldn't cover is besides the point. I've been there, and if I could give you my IVF card to stamp on my behalf, I absolutely would.

I'm pretty certain that fertility levels do decline with age, certainly for women. When I had my own testing, I was told that my hormone levels were that of a woman some 20 years older, and my eggs were of a poor quality. I was also told the general chance of success was about 20% which increased slightly to about 25% using ICSI.

I'm also fairly sure that all of the things people are prattling on about - poor diet, smoking, drinking, drugs, sedentary lifestyles etc - are often touted as things which have a negative impact on fertility.

Used to really do my head in when I was ttc driving past the maternity unit of my local hospital and seeing pregnant women outside smoking.

I'm so sorry. Everyone has opinions on this , it's normal but you are not being unreasonable with being annoyed with them! I can't imagine your disappointment. I am wishing the best for you. I believe your life will work out for the best for you ❤️

I personally believe the NHS should only be providing treatment that is clinically required (including screening for various things)

But you can still have tact, I don’t agree with the NHS providing fertility treatment, but I wouldn’t say that to someone who was having fertility treatment on the NHS

Really good post.

@Fridaysgirl well u TIL we left the EU it was as their is a jurisdiction that says everyone has a right to family life, i.e. Having children.

@Moomin12345 DH works for the NHS England, amongst other things does a lot of analytics and resource plannjng and management - it is one of the very, very few things that makes the NHS any money!!! Its a real cash cow. Its also cheap to provide. If you want to look at conditions that could save the NHS money (and infertility is a condition - also a condition which people don’t choose) look at chronic conditions which people choose to bring on themselves like smoking and obesity related diseases these are the things that drain the NHS not a couple of rounds of IVF!! Trusts don’t offer or cut back on it because it’s a easy win.

I feel for you OP I’ve been there. Unfortunately though with IVF treatment unless you’re lucky and it works first time you’ll need to get used to waiting. People don’t understand so just ignore them.

That said I do wish the funding was fair, we could easily afforded to fund our treatments between ourselves and parents. Others aren’t that lucky so I definitely think it should be means tested if we are going to offer funding for it.

@kikisparks 36 on your first app generally 35 in some areas

*there

@Fawnandwren I was single when I had him, I’m gay, so having a biological child would involve a surrogate, donor eggs, IVF and tens of thousands of pounds. ‘Expenses’ for a surrogate don’t just include medication, maternity wear etc, it includes lost wages, lost pension contributions, insurance etc. I don’t have a spare £50k laying around and if I did I wouldn’t do it because DNA does not make a family.

If in the future my partner and I decide it’s time for another then it will be another adoption.

You can still have tact, I don’t agree with the NHS providing fertility treatment, but I wouldn’t say that to someone who was having fertility treatment on the NHS

But you're happy to say it on a forum where people, who are already devestated at having their IVF cancelled, can see it, adding to their upset.

Just as long as it's anonymous, it's okay. Gotcha.

@SimonJT is your adopted little one your nephew? Many apologies if I've got you confused with another poster.

The NHS is not limited to diseases, it helps with cosmetic issues

Vanity cosmetic issues shouldn't be a part of the NHS, if you don't like your ears, nose, boobs, tough, learn to live with it. If you're a hoarder, ie too lazy to sort out your life, that's not an illness by most people's definition, but give it a label and it's another drain on the NHS.

Once you get beyond life-saving treatments, most medical procedures are about improving quality of life and I simply don't think it's possible to make blanket pronouncements that one life-improving procedure is more valid than another.

But I'm afraid that the NHS has to make these judgements, that is the role of NICE.

Sorry but when NICE majes the call not to fund certain breast cancer treatment that could actually save lives, I really struggle with the finding of IVF, and I say this as someone who had fertility treatment myself.

I also have a horrendous chronic condition that has basically ruined my life - I can't work, I spend about 30-40% of each month bed bound, and I don't think my marriage will survive it. Basically everything I have worked for and love has been taken by this illness.

There has been a new medication which has proven much more effective for my condition and has basically given people their lives back. Currently NICE won't allow the NHS to fund it (it's not ridiculously expensive either). So sorry, I just can't get on board with the NHS funding ivf but not life saving or other life changing treatments.

Having been in the position of the NHS not funding something vital to me I would rather the NHS funded this than the fertility treatment it funded for me and if I had breast cancer right now I'd be wanting them to fund herceptin.

... there not just myths about IVF, there’s a misconception of health treatments more generally. Many drugs, procedures etc for other conditions have marginal benefits and failure rates that no one seems to question yet introduce the idea that not every cycle of ivf results in a live birth and it’s all shock horror, best not pay for that procedure eh?

@GingerRodgers18 I think it varies by area, in Scotland it’s 38.

@GingerRodgers18 sorry I should specify I meant I thought it was 38 before they start limiting the rounds but on looking again I think it’s 40. The overall cut off is 42.

And often NICE can be slow to approve drugs and procedures relative to private health insurers in other countries as it is looking for a weight of evidence that takes a while to emerge. So it’s more about due process being followed than depriving people of a new drug because the money is all being used up by ivf

Whilst I have every bit of sympathy OP, the NHS shouldn’t be paying for it when they can’t afford life saving operations and treatment for existing people. It should be paid for by the person.

I’m sorry it’s been delayed though and do hope you don’t have to wait to long.

I don’t agree necessarily that life saving operations should always be prioritised over life ‘enhancing’ treatments such as IVF.

Perhaps for illnesses in younger people, yes. But spending thousands on life saving treatment for someone who is 80+ over IVF seems morally wrong to me.

We seem to think that length of life is everything, when in reality all humans will have an expiry date and to me it seems more sensible to focus more on quality of life rather than prolonging everyone’s life as long as possible regardless of the circumstances.

And IVF is such a small amount of money compared to what the NHS spend annually (billions), that taking it away wouldn’t actually make other expensive treatments more affordable at all.

Considering the pays for boobs jobs, I don't think IVF is unreasonable. But I don't think having kids is a right or even a biological imperative.

People always say we need more kids to look after the elderly, but where does this stop? We will then need even more to look after them as life expectancy continues to increase.

@kikispark

40 is the NICE guidelines but it is a guide only - each area then sets their own rules hence why some local authorise dont offer IVF at all and for others the age limit is 36. There is a reason why they have this though it's because success rates plummet especially over 40

@IceCreamWaffles does the NHS pay for boob jobs? I thought it was just for reconstructions and severe deformities. I suffer from tuberous breasts and have very little breast tissue, probably unlikely to breastfeed etc and was told I’d have to pay for any surgery myself.