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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Neighbours and my WIFI

697 replies

Imrubbishatuserables · 19/04/2020 21:15

Hey!
Straight to point I got a new neighbour in my block of flat a few months ago and she asked for my wifi password to connect her console to so they could watch netflix.. i thought why not.. one other thing connected to it wont harm and she has just moved in.. it's her first home she hasn't had chance to set up her own yet. She then gets a new tv in the last few weeks and connects to my wifi but she has also connected her phone and her mates phone to it as well as they are picking up our google speakers on the network her mate joked they should play songs through my sons one in his room from their phones. So I have no idea how to change the password but would I be unreasonable to turn it off every night at 8PM? Considering we are in lockdown and she cant get her own during this time as they will need to come and connect it up. Previous tenant in that flat never had wifi either.

OP posts:

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CallmeAngelina · 25/04/2020 19:39

She has been a cf, no doubt about it.
BUT, she may well be persistently knocking at your door because of "an emergency" need for WiFi immediately, and you may therefore feel guilted into helping out again.
DO NOT DO THIS!
Remember: her lack of planning does not constitute an emergency on your part.

mummmy2017 · 25/04/2020 19:42

There is a third choice.
Send" mine is fine"
And hope your neighbour is not so stupid she needs it in black and white that your stopping her free use of the internet.
That she laughs because she has a sense of humour and gets her own provider.
Mine... As in belonging to me.

JimDuggansEye · 25/04/2020 20:37

For fucks sake, some people are as thick as mince.

slashlover · 25/04/2020 21:45

mummmy2017

And hope your neighbour is not so stupid she needs it in black and white that your stopping her free use of the internet.

The OP and the neighbour had a conversation recently where they talked about how neighbour is still using the internet. OP did not say anything to the neighbour so the neighbour has no reason to think OP is unhappy with the situation. A reply of 'Mine's fine' will lead to neighbour asking OP why she can't use it anymore and if anything has changed. I repeat as far as the neighbour is aware, OP is perfectly fine with the internet use.

Weregoingonanadventure · 25/04/2020 21:51

Mummmy, on other threads, you come across as so sensible. What happened here?

It seems like you misunderstood the situation but dont want to hold your hands up and say "got that wrong, oops" so you're just doubling down.

mummmy2017 · 25/04/2020 22:06

The OP didn't open the door.
She doesn't like conflict.
She really was worried about it.
Can you not see the OP won't do as you said.
Let's be honest, if you were using someone else's internet and got .....mine is fine...
You would 100 percent know you were being blocked out. If your nice you would let it go. Even if you did give some excuse about needing the internet OP can laugh and say that she lent it you for a week or so and feels you have had time to get your own, needs hers to be safe due to her child.
If you got an I have locked you out , changed my password and go buy your own.
Just how do you face your neighbour afterwards without bad blood.

TreeTopTim · 25/04/2020 22:10

You will have to talk to her eventually. She seems like the CF type to keep hounding you.

slashlover · 25/04/2020 22:18

Let's be honest, if you were using someone else's internet and got .....mine is fine...
You would 100 percent know you were being blocked out. If your nice you would let it go. Even if you did give some excuse about needing the internet OP can laugh and say that she lent it you for a week or so and feels you have had time to get your own, needs hers to be safe due to her child.

You would not 100% know you were blocked out if you had a recent conversation where the OP appeared completely fine with the arrangement. How is neighbour meant to know that OP has changed her mind? OP cannot say she lent it for a week or so when BOTH neighbour and OP have been perfectly aware of the usage for months.

The 'for the safety of my child' is going to go down much better than

'Mine is fine'
'I wonder why mine is not working now. I'll get my mate to look into it/have you changed anything on it/Do you know why it's not working?'
'Actually, I lied. I changed the name and password.'

Weregoingonanadventure · 25/04/2020 22:25

Learn to read the room. This woman has text and repeatedly knocked on the door. She is not going to take a hint, especially when that hint makes no fucking sense.

They recently talked about it. The neighbour still thinks the OP is fine with it. The neighbour knows that the OP is totally aware she uses it. Hasn't given any indication that she is unhappy.

She texts to day the wifi isnt working. She gets a reply saying "mine is fine" so she will text back "its not working down here, can you check?" Or "its not working down here, have you changed/upgraded?".
Then the OP needs to send the message she should have sent in the first place.

Your little idea doesnt help af all. It doesnt avoid anything. It will invite more questions and make her look stupid when she actually explains the situation.

If they had never had those recent chats about the wifi usage then it would work. The OP could play dumb and say she didnt realise the neighbour still used it, but that wont work now because that is not the situation she is in. They have talked about it.

Everyone is telling you that you're wrong. It will not work.

The OP doesnt want to have the conversation but this is the situation she has got herself into. She can ignore it and hope it goes away or just bloody tell the woman, but a totally irrelevant phrase wont help her.

mummmy2017 · 25/04/2020 22:32

I think your think what you would do, not what OP will do.
OP only found out when neighbour joked about sending something to the sons devise.
Better to be thought stupid and not lie, than to confront straight away.
OP has to live next door, you don't.

Weregoingonanadventure · 25/04/2020 22:34

No, what the OP would do is change the password without saying antbung and then hide in her house and ignite the messages. What's she going to do when she sees the neighbour in the hall? Turn and run away?
She is going to have to deal with it. That's why people ask for advice, because they way they are handling it isnt working. And what you're suggesting makes so fucking sense given the facts so just stop

WitchDancer · 25/04/2020 22:39

I would reply stating you changed the password to protect your son. It's no lie and it's exactly what you did. The worst this CF can do is throw a wobbly and defriend you.

Willow2017 · 25/04/2020 22:40

The neighbour hasn't done anything wrong. There is no need for her to save face. There is nothing for her to admit. She asked for the wifi, and she was given permission to use it. There is nothing embarrassing about her using it and nothing to save face over.
Yes she has! Op said she could use it temporarily for one device until she got hers set up. She didnt give her permission tp use it fof months and share with her friends and connect several devices to it and use her sons speakers ffor thier own use! .
Thats taking the p big time.

EmbarrassedWoman · 25/04/2020 22:41

I would actually message her back on facebook- you wont need to say it to her face then.

I would send something like
"Hi x, your joke about messing with my sons speakers- as silly as it was intended- made me realise what big a security breech i have created by sharing my password. I have secured my wifi again for my own peace of mind. Hope you are able to sort out your own broadband service."

Hopefully you have managed to speak tp her by now though.

mummmy2017 · 25/04/2020 22:42

In RL I almost never get involved in arguments, I tend to look for ways that let both people move forward without conflict.
Your way is going to escalate this, and cause bad feelings with people who have to live nextdoor.
Your saying tell the neighbour, who already knows, basically rubbing her nose in the fact she no longer has internet access. OP then gets daggers in her back for being so rude, and is talked about as the wrong doer.
Mine means that even if nextdoor say but I was using it, OP can just say what after all this time, did you not sign up, and that sorry but she can't now due to safety issues. Meaning nextdoor can still save face.
Remember OP lives there.

slashlover · 25/04/2020 22:43

Better to be thought stupid and not lie, than to confront straight away.

What does this mean? OP would be lying and OP would be found out to be lying.

JimDuggansEye · 25/04/2020 22:46

Thick as fucking mince.

slashlover · 25/04/2020 22:50

It'd like pulling teeth.

Your saying tell the neighbour, who already knows, basically rubbing her nose in the fact she no longer has internet access. OP then gets daggers in her back for being so rude, and is talked about as the wrong doer.

Explain to me how the neighbour would know when they had a recent conversation where OP seemed fine about it. If the neighbour is contacting OP then she OBVIOUSLY doesn't know. Even if the neighbour realises then "mine's fine" is incredibly passive aggressive and rude.

Mine means that even if nextdoor say but I was using it, OP can just say what after all this time, did you not sign up, and that sorry but she can't now due to safety issues. Meaning nextdoor can still save face.

"what after all this time, did you not sign up"
So does OP pretend that the recent conversation discussing it didn't take place?

torthecatlady · 25/04/2020 22:52

I'd reply saying I cancelled the internet to save money, but when neighbour decides to get her own internet can I have the password please?

mummmy2017 · 25/04/2020 23:01

So we agree to differ in how to deal with this.
It does not mean my way is wrong, nor is your way.
I can guarantee that some people will not want to be at war with nextdoor, and do not want to call the neighbour out for bad behaviour.

RealLifeHotWaterBottle · 25/04/2020 23:13

Mine is Fine would be far more likely to cause bad feeling. Its goady, gives no explanation as to why the OP retracted use of the wifi, invites more questions and is incredibly passive aggressive.

It also makes no. fucking. sense.

OP and her neighbour have had multiple conversations about the wifi being shared. Rightly, the OP decided to stop sharing it because her neighbour was taking advantage of her, but "mine is fine" is a pissy way of saying get your own.

slashlover · 25/04/2020 23:14

It does not mean my way is wrong, nor is your way.

Many people have said your way is wrong.

Your way assumes the neighbour is aware the OP is unhappy when there is absolutely no reason for her to be. Your way avoids outright confrontation but is incredibly passive aggressive at best and will lead the OP to admitting she lied at worst. You way ignores that they had a recent conversation about it.

JammyGem · 25/04/2020 23:30

Did she keep knocking at your door today OP?

mummmy2017 · 25/04/2020 23:42

According to the thread.
Can I use your internet for Netflix 4 months ago.
And last week ish when there was mention of using DS's speaker to broadcast into his room is multiple conversations.
OP has said she does not want to confront them.

RealLifeHotWaterBottle · 25/04/2020 23:54

Multiple- as in more than one:

Asking for it in the first place
Mentioning the sons speakers
Knocking previously when its been turned off to see if theres an issue

OP doesn't need to confront anyone, she can simply respond to confirm she's no longer happy to provide access for understandable security reasons

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